Of Hair Loss & Heartthrobs

Kelton didn't want to open his mouth, afraid that if he did he might vomit. Instead he just hugged into Xavier, his face still hidden in the others chest.
Who would do his piercings and his tattoo's?
Who would he call when he couldn't talk to Cade?
Who would he miss at random points in the day?
Who's would he just stare at on his phone because he wanted to see them?
Who was going to laugh with him about how bad he was at taking care of himself?
Who was he going to lay in bed at night and think about?
What was he to do when Xavier was gone?

"Kelly stop." Xavier sighed. "That's why I didn't want to tell you. Now you're going to tiptoe around me and act like I'm on my deathbed. I've got years, babe. Don't treat me any different..."

"Im not going to tip toe around you!" Kelton snapped at him, shaking his head. "Im not treating you any differently! But dont you f*cking act like its okay! Its not okay! Im going to lose you! Maybe not now or years from now! But one day im going to look up and im going to need you and you wont be here!" He pressed his palms into his eyes, trying to regulate his breathing. "Your not on your death bed!" Not yet. "But it still hurts to know that one day....I..."
One day he would lose Xavier.
And it made him just want to crawl under a rock.
"I need a f*cking smoke."

"But it IS okay Kelton!" Xavier sighed, exasperated. "I'm fine. I don't care that I'm sick, it's going to be okay. I don't care, so you at least pretend you don't care either." He frowned, rubbing his hand down the boy's back comfortinglly.

"How?" Kelton wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I love you....I love you so much and how am I supposed to think of this and know its okay?" He sighed softly, lowering his head so Xavier could get to it. "Just come on, I want my tattoo finished before you take my kidney."

"I love you too Kelly, but I don't want to become my disease like everyone else does. I'm still Xavier, not just that guy with AIDS. I don't want you to think of me like that." He shook his head as he resumed tattooing the boy.

"I don't think of you as that guy with AIDS. Your my Xavier and im just scared because my Xavier is sick. Your not a disease, or just a sick person. Your my Zavier." Kelton was simply devastated as he hugged into the man, his eyes slipping shut as he remembered when Xavier had come over to help him with his corset piercing. "I think you should redo my corset piercings." If for nothing than for old times sake.

"Are you insane, Kelly?" Xavier chuckled softly. "Last time I did that you got sick, I'm not trying to kill you here." He shook his head.

"Come on! If you dont do it ill go find someone who will!! But come on!" He smiled lightly at the memory. Honestly it seemed like Xavier only liked him as a friend now and that was okay. Thats all they could have, but he still had the crush, he still loved him...
He still smiled when he thought about that one kiss.

"No way." Xavier chuckled as he worked on the tattoo. "And I'll tell every place around here that does piercings to never let you get one." He stuck his tongue out.
He did only see Kelton as a friend anymore. He'd had a bit of a crush on him in the past but he respected the fact that he was taken. He had a kid. He just simply wasn't meant for Xavier and the man was okay with that. He had Junious now. They weren't too serious yet though Xavier already bore the boy's name tattooed across his left wrist.

"Ill get Cade to do it for me!" Though that was laughable, Cade had not wanted him to get it done the first time. He grinned at the thought of his lover, rubbing his arm slowly. "Im worried about Cade." He had been so upset lately, and for good reason. Kelton just hated seeing him so down like he was. He loved Cade with his heart and his soul and no matter what Cade was his one and only. He would never be with anyone else, and he didn't want to be with anyone else.

"Yeah?" Xavier hummed as he worked. "He seems pretty torn up about Leon." He nodded. "I am too... I love the kid." He smiled softly at the thought of how sweet Leon had been when he told him he had AIDS.

"He is...He loves his baby so much." Kelton sighed softly into Xavier's chest. "Leon is just one of a kind and its hard to think of him dying...I mean....Out of everyone, Leon deserves it the least you know? He is such a sweetheart all the time."

"I've never seen him be mean." Xavier smiled softly. "He doesn't deserve it at all. I remember when I told him I was sick... he was so sweet..."

"Course, Leon is always sweet." He wondered about his son, Leon could be treated like dirt and never so much as think badly about the person who treated him badly. Only person he was ever even close to being mean to was Briley and all he did was call him a meanie. "I don't think he can be mean." Honestly.

"It'd break my heart to even see him be mean." Xavier smiled softly. "He's the sweetest person I've ever met."

"I know it. You should have seen his room though after Cove told him he had cheated. I walked in there and my god, his camera was broken and all of his pictures were destroyed. Leon has one thing in this world that could ever make him out to be mean, and I think its Cove. Like....I think if someone hurt Cove, Leon could be mean. " He nodded his head, his was was a different person with Cove.

"I don't know if I like how Cove makes him." Xavier sighed. He'd been ready to murder the boy when he'd heard he cheated on Leon.

Kelton glanced over to Xavier, smiling softly.
"Cade hates it. I dont mind him though, I mean I hate that he hurt my baby...Leon is still so touchy about that. He didnt even want to touch his camera."

"I just think cheating on anyone is a shitty thing to do but I don't get how you could do it to someone like Leon." Xavier sighed, the needle on the gun working on Kelton's scalp.

"I think it was easier to do to someone like Leon. He is so sweet and naive, and so easy to fool. He is so trusting...". Kelton hated his son was so easy to hurt.

"I just... I coudln't take hurting someone so sweet." Xavier frowned deeply. "You think Cove loves him?"

"Cove loves him." Kelton was very much certain of this. "Leon is so sick, I mean look at him! And Cove devotes himself to taking care of him, when he could push him on me and Cade and be done with it. Instead he is determined to have Leon with him."

"I just worry for Leon." Xavier nodded lightly. "But if you say so." He worried for Leon like the boy was his own son..

"I know, me too." Kelton wondered how much longer this was going to take. The pain was not as bad as he thought it would be. "How was Leon when he got his tattoo?"