So this is kinda dumb. I got the idea from a song and it just kinda flowed however it could. I know you don't like cutting themes but it was all I could think of in this case. I hope you still enjoy it! By the way, its not all about cuttiing. I tried to make it a little fluffy with an angst twist. It focuses more on Morgue and his feeling towards Finn.
Love you!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Finn...." Morgue sighed softly, reaching out for his lovers hand. As his fingers curled around the icy digits, he couldn't help but smile. Finn's hands always fit so perfectly into his, as though they had been made for each other.
Maybe they had.
He had never been interested in anyone aside from Finn. There had been Trever but he had never felt for Trever like he did for Finn.
"Just leave me the f*ck alone Marilyn." Finn glanced over at him, his other hand still gently tracing over the fresh cuts on his arms. He had cut himself, he had done it a lot. Never though because he wanted to die, and never because he was depressed. Finn simply liked to feel something other than emptiness. Of course he felt love for Morgue but he refused to acknowledge it, and besides that he was left with nothing. Cutting was not pleasurable, nor was it good for him, but since when did Finn ever care about any of that?
Morgue opened his mouth, his intentions being to scold his lover once more for the bright pink wounds on his arms but the words stuck in his throat and died away. He had been stricken by his lovers face. Finn had always favored darkness, so much that Morgue hardly ever got to see him in the light, but when he did, he always noticed the freckles. They were very light, almost not even noticeable but Morgue had memorized every detail of his lover. He did as he did every time he laid eyes on the almost transparent freckles, he traced them with his eyes, joined up the dots and as he did so everything made sense to him.
"You know, cutting is too weak for you. Your so beautiful... Way to beautiful to do this to yourself."
This incited a smile from Finn, a smile that left Morgue aching. He loved the crinkles by the smaller boys eyes that always seemed to appear when he smiled. It was rare, precious.
As Finn formulated a response, Morgue was left to allow his eyes to wonder. They trailed over every inch of skin on Finn, paying close attention to the boys thighs and stomach. Finn had scars everywhere, but many of them on his stomach, primarily by his hips, were self caused. Just as the ones high up on his thighs. It made Morgue's stomach churn violently. He had never asked about them, he had always assumed it had been Jake but to know Finn had done it to himself, that was almost too much to handle. Morgue wanted to scream, tell Finn that he was so, so beautiful. Way to beautiful to do this to himself. He wanted to make love to the boy, show him just how Morgue felt about him. Still Morgue knew better than to voice these opinions, it would only get him snapped at. He could barely contain himself though. All of those little things together composed Finn, and Finn was by far the most precious thing he had ever called his own.
"Huh?" Morgue glanced up, he had zoned out thinking of his lover, so much so that he had not realized Finn had been speaking.
"Sh*thead, were you ignoring me? I said if Im too f*cking beautiful to cut, then your too f*cking beautiful for cancer."
"Do what?" Morgue blinked lightly at the boy, rather put off with way Finn adverted his gaze.
"Smoking causes cancer dip-sh*t."
"Oh..." Morgue cocked his head to the side, his eye brows furrowing with confusion. Finn seemed as though he were now avoiding Morgue's eyes, as though he were embarrassed.
Why would he be...
Oh!
A rather wicked smile broke out across Morgue's face. Finn was worried about him. Finn wanted him to stop smoking because Finn didn't want him to be sick. Finn loved him.
How f*cking peculiar. Peculiar and wonderful.
Honestly Morgue had been trying to stop smoking, and he did well. Except for when Finn was gone. When Finn left, Morgue smoked to remember the taste of Finn's kiss on their first sexual encounter.
"Well then Finn, you know something? Ill make a deal with you." Morgue reached into his pocket for his current pack of Marlboro Reds. He extended his hand, offering the red and white package to his lover.
"This is my last pack, as long a those are your last cuts." He nodded to Finn's arm, his face falling as he looked them over. He knew they were there, but seeing them made it real. It made him hurt.
"Fine. But if I ever catch you with another f*cking cigarette, I wont need to cut myself because ill f*cking cut you!"
Even though it was said in the form of a thread, Finn had agreed and that in itself meant the world to the bleach blonde man.
"I'm counting on it." Morgue forced a smile, reaching out for Finn's wrist to gently bring it into his lap. He then proceeded to pull out his emergency medical kit and go to work. He sanitized and then bandaged the wounds, making sure to apply a bit of healing salve to assure a speedy recovery.
"You know Finn..." The room grew progressively quiet as Morgue locked eyes with his lover. "You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you...you'll never treat yourself right, darling, but I want you to." His words were sincere, heartfelt, and yearning for Finn to see that Morgue loved him. "I know it sounds mushy and dumb but im here for you Finn...And I hope one day you can love yourself like I love you." He knew Finn could never love himself like Morgue loved him, no one could, but to love himself at least a little would suffice.
"Don't you go getting all f*cking sentimental on me dip-sh*t!" Still though Finn wore a smile, a sad, heart wrenching smile.
"Don't you worry about that." Morgue slowly pushed himself up from his bed, reaching out to pull Finn from the edge of the mattress to the middle. He had gathered clothes for the boy, Finn had been naked in the shower when Morgue had walked in on him and his little cutting session. He had already gathered clothes for the boy and he had just proceeded to help Finn put them on. Well he tried, only to have his hands slapped away. Morgue stood there, watching his lover until the boy had finished. Once he had, Morgue tugged the covers around him and made sure that Finn was comfortable before he slipped out to make the boy a cup of tea. Sure he didn't have too, and Finn never asked, but Morgue made sure he had a cup of tea for his lover every night before bed. It aided him to sleep, and even though he was spoiling Finn, it was worth it to see the tiny smile he would receive.
The tea was made and consumed, before long Morgue found himself back in bed, laying on his back with Finn resting beside him, using his chest as a pillow.
And as it always did, the mumbled sleep talking began. Sometimes Morgue could make it out, sometimes he couldn't. All those conversations are the secrets that he would keep
,though it made no sense to him. Honestly he blamed the tea.
With a tiny smile on his face, Morgue shook his head. Finn had so many unique quirks. Some good, some bad. But they all made up Finn and to him, that was truly precious.
