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 Words I Couldn't Say

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Zachariah Torres


Posts : 588
Join date : 2013-08-18

PostSubject: Words I Couldn't Say   Fri Sep 20, 2013 3:02 pm

Okay this is not one of the fics I was supposed to be writing for you, sorry heheh >< but it just like came out. I wrote it in like an hour so I hope you like it!
Ps: You should so write a response to this when you get a chance because I didn't know how Killian would react at the end so I just sort of stopped it Razz

Cameron felt his heart flutter as the thick accent sounded in his ears as Killian bid him goodbye. And with a whiff of the man’s cologne, Cameron found himself smiling as the man exited the home.
He hated the butterflies in his stomach every time Killian spoke to him. He really was sure he had fallen for Killian. He was totally and completely in love with Killian Murdock…
He let out a soft sigh as Killian left, a small grin still on his face as he felt Finn sit down beside him.
“The fuck are you smiling about?”
“Tell me it wasn’t that Killian asshole.” Finn rolled his eyes.
“Maybe.” Cameron spoke softly, his eyes alight with his happiness.
“You’re fucking dumb. He’s married.” Finn sighed. But deep down, he was pleased that Killian was at least nice to his son. Not many people were.
“Yeah, I know.” Cameron sighed. But that never stopped him from crushing on Killian.
That night, he curled himself up in bed with a pad of paper and a pen.
“Dear Killian.” He wrote. But that was about it before he couldn’t think of what else to say.
After several hours of crossing out words and crumpling up pieces of paper, he read over the letter he’d written.
“Dear Killian,
You probably don’t know this… or maybe you do? I don’t really know for sure. But I’m sorta kinda in love with you. I mean, I love everything about you. I love your accent, the way you walk, the way you smile at me, soft and easy, like you could tell me anything. And I really hope you can, Killian. Tell me everything, that is. Because I can tell you everything and I hope this letter proves that. This has been the only thing I’ve ever kept from you and now it’s out in the open. I want you to know everything. The way your arctic blue eyes give me chills. The way my heart skips a beat when I hear your voice. The way that when you look at me and smile, I sort of feel like I’m going to throw up with how crazy the butterflies in my stomach get. The way that I lay awake at night sometimes, just wishing you could be with me instead of him. Because I don’t think you get it Killian. I don’t think you understand how in love with you I am. I love you in a way I’m sure Luca can’t. And I’d do anything, anything if you could just tell me how to get you to love me back. Because it’s killing me, it truly is.
But I know the chances of you loving me are slim to none, so instead, tell me how to get over you? Because I really don’t know if I can, but I guess it’s worth trying. It’s worth it if it will help me get some sleep at night and stop the hurting. I’m sorry if this ends up upsetting you. Or if by some sick twist of fate, my worst nightmare comes true and you laugh in my face when you read this, just remember, I’ll love you anyways.
He nodded firmly, content with this as he stood up, getting dressed and making his way to Killian’s home.
He couldn’t chicken out. He knew he had to give this to Killian tonight.
But all these thoughts disappeared as he found himself face to face with Killian when the man opened his front door.
Cameron immediately shoved the letter behind his back as his heart beat faster when his eyes met Killian’s.
“Love, what are ya doin’ here? It’s late.” Killian chuckled, though leading the boy inside. “Ya look like ya’ve seen a ghost, are ya alright?” Killian frowned, referring to the paler than usual appearance of his friend.
“I-I’m sorry…” Cameron blinked. He hadn’t even realized it was so late, he’d been intent on delivering his letter. But now as he saw Killian, he couldn’t bear the thought of giving it to the man. What had he been thinking? “Mom… we just got in a fight and… you know how he is. I left.” He shrugged lightly. Although  he knew Finn would never hurt him, or let him leave in the middle of the night if they’d just fought, to anyone else, this would seem like a reasonable explanation. He shoved his letter in his pocket discreetly as Killian threw an arm around his shoulder, leading him into the kitchen.
“That scallywag.” Killian shook his head, seating Cameron at the kitchen table and moving to make some coffee for the two of them, taking a seat across from Cameron. “Ya want ta talk about it, love?”
“No, I’m good…”
“Are ya sure? Ya can talk ta meh about anything, ya know that.”
“Yeah, I know that.” Cameron felt quite sick. He did know that. Which is exactly why he had to get out of here now… If he gave Killian this letter, that might ruin the friendship they had. And even though he would continue to suffer with his feelings for Killian, he was not prepared to give up their friendship. “I-I gotta go.” He stood up abruptly, shaking his head.
“Love are ya alright?” Killian stood, his brow furrowed as he reached out for Cameron who stepped away from him.
“I’m fine I just have to go.” Cameron insisted, nearly running for the door, on his way tossing his letter in the trashcan.
Killian didn’t notice, simply staring after the boy. He truly was worried…
He turned to go back to bed after Cameron had gone, but a piece of paper on the ground caught his eye. It was laying beside the trashcan as if someone had missed when throwing it away. He normally would have just thrown it out.
But his name written on the side caught his attention and he began to read.
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