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 Whispers in the Wind

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Elvis Lively

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Posts : 158
Join date : 2013-08-17

PostSubject: Whispers in the Wind   Sun Sep 29, 2013 10:15 pm

"I didn't f*king have to do this, you know." The wind tousled Finn's hair, chilling his skin as he stared down to the slab of rock as though it had caused him great pain. "You could have just f*cking left me alone damnit, you of all the f*cking people know that I...." He was a hateful bastard. "I didn't really f*cking want you to go like this..." His voice cracked, but tears had long since made trails down his face. "When I said I wanted you to go the hell away, I...I just meant leave me the f*cking alone for a little bit! Not actually go!" His voice was rising, his fingers balled into fists at his thighs. As his eyes scanned over the name cut into the stone in front of him, he felt his chest heave with another violent sob. It ached. He wasnt sure what it was, maybe his heart if he had one.

Jeremy Johnson.
Morgue.
Beloved son, father, lover.
You are missed.
xxxx-xxxx

There was no sound as Finn's knees connected with the fresh mound of dirt in the earth beneath him, he simply hadnt the strength to keep himself up anymore. "You f*cking know this isnt what I meant." Tears dripped from his nose, his head dropped low as the sorrow overwhelmed him. "You were just always such a f*cking pain in my ass, you know? I never meant for this to happen though, Jeremy, I didnt mean it like this!" He snarled the last part, desperately angry at the man under him. He didn't want to keep screaming, yelling, he didn't want to continue being so cruel but he couldnt help it. He was like an injured animal trying to defend himself from this pain he couldn't even see.

"I would have forgiven you...If you would have just f*cking done what you normally do...If you would have just left me the f*ck alone for a while and then come back and we would have made up...It would all f*cking be okay...But you didn't f*cking do that!" His voice echoed through the trees, his stomach knotting as he realized he was once again bellowing hatefully at the stone.

"Is that all I f*cking ever do to you? Yell..." He reached up, rubbing gently at his arm as another gust of wind rolled in, further cooling him.

He laughed hollowly at himself, numbness creeping in on his soul. "I doubt you can even f*cking hear me..." But he wanted Morgue to hear him, he so desperately wished to speak with his lover.

Now, Finn found he wished he had been nicer, wished he had done more to make Morgue happy. He wanted to tell the man things, see the way his face lit up when he learned something new about their child, or hear his laugh when Finn was particularly nice. He just wanted Jeremy, wanted him so badly now that he was struggling just to breath.

"I wish you would have talked to me, instead of doing something so damn stupid." Finn hiccuped pitifully, sniveling down at the cold, unresponsive stone which bore his lovers name. "I wish I would have f*cking talked to you too."
There so much he had never told Morgue, never wanted to say for fear of how it would sound. He knew now he should had just bit the bullet and said it, their time together had been limited.

He was so f*cking stupid.

"I would go any f*cking thing just to see you one more time..." To feel Morgue's arms around him, to savor a last kiss.
"Any f*cking thing!" He cried out, shaking his head. "I'd walk through hell..." But he was already there.
"But like I said, I bet you can't even f*cking hear me." He fell back, sitting now in front of the stone with his legs crossed.
But as he sat, he felt the need to tell Morgue everything he had never said to him, let him know that he had been f*cking stupid by leaving, let him know that a day did not pass without Finn's tears bleeding all over his pillow.

"You knew I thought you were annoying as f*ck, and you always did stupid sh*t, but I know you only ever wanted to help. You were always so damn nice to people." He had been good to Finn when everyone else had written him off as a nucence, a bitch. "But I want you to f*cking know that I miss you, Jeremy." His voice cracked on the mans name, his chest restricting painfully as he pictured the man in his head, tried to form the image of his smile.
God, he had loved Morgue's smile. It was creepy, and weird, and it had always made Finn's heart swell.

And now he would never see it again.

This thought knocked the breath of out Finn, his throat burned as he wailed into the empty air, lurching forward and clutching his chest as though someone were stabbing into his heart. He took quick shallow breaths, his tears falling heavily. He had paled distinctly since the realization had struck him.

He would never see Morgue smile again.

Never hold him.

Never touch him.

Never, ever, ever.

"J-Jeremy." The boy chocked, his forehead thudding as it connected with the stone. "P-Please come back." He had never sounded so pitiful before in his life. "Cameron misses you...He needs you..." A broken whisper. "I need you."
He sat, and he cried, screamed and punched at the stone until he was certain he had broken his hands. They dripped with blood and throbbed with swelling, but he didn't give a f*ck. Hours later, he found himself standing once more before the grave, staring down at it with deep water blue eyes. "W-Would it make a difference if I said I love you?"
Silence greeted him, the wind carrying his words away.
"I guess not."
He turned, and slowly made his way home, back to Cameron. The boy needed the only parent he had left.
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