Week 1
It had been early October, the air was crisp and chilling outside. Xavier remember it, he remembered it because his tears had stung his face so much worse because of the biting wind. That was the day that Prentiss had come and gathered his things, that day had been the last time he had seen the boy. He had not given Xavier a reason for it, but they both had known it was coming. Xavier didn't fully understand either, Prentiss had simply began drifting away from him, little by little, and before he had known it the boy had slipped right through his fingers.That first week, Elvis had come to see him, had been purely appalled by his state. If he had gotten the chance, he would had beaten Printess's ass, but he had not seen the boy since that day either. The day when it was cold and Xavier's home lost its warmth.
Elvis had taken him home, told his parents that he needed his friend to stay with them for a while. And Xavier did, almost until the days had wracked up to a two digit number. He simply did not have the will to get up and leave. His life had just crumbled away with the loss of Prentiss. All he had done was drink, waller in his pity and wait for his sickness to get worse as it normally did when he failed to care for himself.
On the first two digit day, Elvis found himself standing over Xavier, his eye brows furrowed angrily. "I can't do this anymore yeah." He reached down, plucking the bottle of jim bean from the tattoo artists hand. "You have to get the hell up and move on. F*ck Prentiss!"
Xavier simply gazed up at him, his eyes glazed over with sorrow and grief. He had lost the thing he loved the most and it pained him greatly.
"Elvis." Zach was sitting on the bed, watching as his lover tried to talk Xavier into getting up.
"He can't keep doing this, its best for him if you make him get up." Zach knew a thing or two about heart ache, knew that if Xavier were to get any better, Elvis was going to have to put his foot in the mans ass and make him stand up.
The freckled faced boy looked torn, his eyes darting around. He was unsure what to do, Xavier still had not even acknowledged him and Zach now had seemed to make his discussion on the situation.
"Damnit Xavier! Zach is right! You havent showered for a week, you smell like a garbage dump and im going to have to kick you out! I can't watch you do this to yourself!" The boy leaned back into the wall, already he looked guilty, as though he were terrible for doing this to his friend.
"I could live with that." Xavier croaked softly, his head falling over to the side. He didn't care what happened anymore.
"Get up Xavier." Zach hopped up, crouching down to look at the man. "Your breaking our hearts. You have to pull yourself together and go home."
No movement. Zach was losing patience.
"Come on." He reached down, hoisting the man up in order to drag him to the door. Xavier couldnt stand on his own, it had been so long since he had bothered. Zach got him to the door and pushed him out, glad that Augustus and Manuel were gone to Peru for the weekend
.
Xavier fell forward, his front making its bed on the hard concrete outside of the home. Elvis immediately reached out as if to help him when Zach pulled him back, shaking his head.
"He has to do this, Elvis." Zach hated it to but he knew the only want to fix the man was the make him fix himself.
Outside, Xavier was perfectly content ti simply lay on the concrete, though he rolled himself over so that he could see the blue of the sky's, unable to bare it if he were too keep seeing the golden gleam of the sun reflecting from the cars, it reminded him too much of Printess.
Most of his time down there he spent finding shapes in the clouds, his body too drained for him to do anything else. Many times he was aware of eyes on him, strangers walking by stopped to throw change at him. He would feel as it landed near him, the pling of its landing assuring him of what it is. More so then strangers though, he was certain he had felt the burn of Elvis and Zach's eyes on him . He was almost positive he had also heard them fighting, hushed tones that grew so loud it almost seemed they were yelling at each other, arguing on weather to help him or not.
The sun had made its course down on the horizon by the time Xavier made it to his feet. His joints groaned and his body ached but he pushed foreward, knowing if he continued to lay he would be causing problems for Elvis. He did not want that.
The walk to his home was a long one, he had never been so slow in his life, but he did not have the want to be home or the will to make himself walk faster. His pace was slow and limbering, his eyes directed on the pavement the entire time. He didn't want to see people, didn't want to see anyone but Printess.
But Printess was gone.
The first tine he lifted his head was when he approached his front porch steps. He clambered up the steps, his hands automatically moving for the hanging flower pot where he scrounged for his key. He fished out the house key, moving to unlock the door.
He stopped as he noticed the familiar sticky note staring at him from the front of his door. It was stained from the weather but it was readable.
Gently he peeled it away, cradling it in his hands like it were an infant, so precious and frail. His eyes slowly glided over the words, over and over he read it, his heart fluttering as he took in the familiar scrawl.
"Welcome home. Don't forget to feed the gold fish Xavier, I know you tend to do that 'by accident'."
He took a deep breath, jamming his key into the door. He made to open it, but not before peeling away another note from the wide back side of the key.
"And wash this key. The rain is causing dirt to stick to it. Its becoming unrecognizable from the rest of the soil."
"Okay Prentiss, okay." his fingers trembled, his eyes stinging. As he allowed his eyes to take in the rest of his home, he noticed the notes.
They were everywhere, on every flat surface of the home. Different things, normal things, It was just Prentiss's way of reminding him. Always had been.
As he stepped further into the home, his fooot connected with the welcome map and he heard the crinkle of paper. Bending down he took up another post it.
"Wipe your feat, there's mud everywhere outside."
It was like he never left.
Week 2
It had been fifteen days since Prentiss had left.
Xavier had not left his home since making it there that night, in this way he had run into many of the familiar post it notes that sat perched through out his home, evaluating his every move. As he gathered them, he began putting them all in a note book, arranged by the day he found them. There was one that was not subject to this however, it was the one he had been keeping tapped to his pillow. It was old and looked like it had been put there long ago. Finally he wound up keeping it in his pocket every day, folding and unfolding it countless times.
"Je t'aime"
Week 4
It had been a month since Prentiss had left, Xavier had found most of the post it notes by then. Like the one on his tooth brush reminding him to buy more tooth paste. Or one on the side of the television, telling him to turn it off when he was done watching because it saved energy. One that read the exact same on the remote. A couple in his closet, on different articles of clothing telling him he looked "Sexy as f*ck." or "Panty dropping" or "You look like an idiot homeless man, burn this." While wearing them. Just little things. There was one on the side of the washer, reminding him not to use to much detergent when washing his clothes. Also depicting that he had BETTER wash his clothes or else he would stink. A blue one on top of the dryer, his familiar scrawl almost speaking for him.
"Don't forget to Iron your clothes, and don't burn yourself like you did last time, mon amour."
The notebook was filling up.
Week 12
Xavier had started finding...different sticky notes by now.
There was one he had never noticed before taped to the teddy bear he had bought Prentiss on there first date. Xavier had been sitting on his sofa when the bear in the corner caught his eye, the stuffed animal seemed to be calling for him, and so he could not resist picking it up. As he picked it up, he hugged it and that familiar ringing of paper being shifted met my ears. Xavier tore it off eagerly, his stomach soaring. It seemed as though it had been a life time since he had found one of his beloveds notes.
"Remember the tattoo I wanted, and the way the shop smelled when I brought you coffee. "
Xavier had cradled it and smiled sadly, his heart aching.
He hadn't been to work in so long he forgot what it was like, and coffee had not entered his mind since....since before Prentiss had gone.
Week 12
Xavier had picked up a photograph he had slammed down in his distress. It was of Prentiss, wrapped tightly in his favorite jacket. He stood in front of the Effie tower, his smile radiant. Xavier remembered taking the picture, he had gone with Prentiss to France to see his family.
Over the boys face was a bright pink post it.
Xavier's fingers trembled as he lightly pulled it away.
"I hope you still dream of my smile. I'll dream of yours."
Xavier's jaw tightened, his stomach twisting painfully. "Damnit...You f*cker." Prentiss knew right where to hit him.
Week 37
Xavier had folded and unfolded the "Je t'aime" note so much that it had fallen apart. It had been the first time he cried since Prentiss had gone. After he scrounged up some glue and pasted the posted to the back of his note book, so he could find it easily when he needed it.
Week 43
Xavier had awoke that day, he had took a shower and gotten dressed, even cleaned up a little in his home. Taking a break in his bed room, he felt as though he wanted to call Elvis up, maybe go have a few drinks together or something. Moving over to his phone and picking the receiver up, he watched as a yellow sticky note fluttered onto the table. Picking it up, Xavier read.
"If your going out drinking mon cherie, then your fooling yourself. Your not over me yet. Now go take care of your leg, if you keep hurting yourself your going to keep breaking my heart, amour."
Tremors tore through him, tears slowly trailing there way down his cheeks. A hand moving to muffle his sobs, he fell down onto his knees.
How did he know?
How did he always know?
Week 51
He had felt good that day, Xavier had. He went and bought groceries for his home. Stopped by the shop to see his old colleges. He had even met up with Elvis for a bite to eat. Upon arriving home he had began putting away his groceries, when the T.V caught his attention. A song was playing. He stepped into the living room, bending at the television to turn the music up.
While there, the light from the living room windows caught him, and he found himself stepping onto his back porch. He had not been out here since he had lost Prentiss, it had been one of the boys favorite spots. Slowly he lowered himself into Prentiss's chair.
Crinckle.
It had been so long since Xavier had heard that noise.
His ears perked, and he quickly found a purple post it. Smiling to himself, he cooed softly, lovingly. "Hello Prentiss."
"I see you have finally come out here, imbécile, its about time too. This was the place where we fell in love, remember? I was all sexy and you were...You were you. I believe it is finally time you know what happened to me, why I left. Head down to 564 Strippling road, ill be waiting."
Week 52
Xavier stood in front of the tomb, head down, tears falling down his face in rivets.
Prentiss Proveaux
July 14, 1992
October 1, 2013
Disparu, mais pas oublié
manqué et aimé
fils aimant
Reposez en paix.
"You always were twisted." He choked out, though a smile was beginning to stretch across his face. He set down his note book and flipped it to a random page, this one holding the notes that said "I'll never forget you." And "There is such thing as forever." Prentiss had always been a shameless romantic, believing in love and its wonders.
"You always ended up taking are of me so much...And I never got to say think you....And I loved you...and you go off..... and die." His voice broke, his fingers curling into his hand. He had been very sick with his disease, though he had never gotten to tell Prentiss about what he had, the boy always managed to care for him.
Xavier shook his head, tears being slung wildly about his face as he forced himself to sit down. He pressed his hand down on the pages of his notebook, keeping the wind from turning his pages. Looking up, his eyes found a small black box, and on top of it was a weather damaged white sticky note. It read simply "Xavier."
"Of course." The man growled, almost knocking over a bouquet of roses in his hast to get to the boy. He snatched it up, still painfully careful though as he popped open the box. Inside of it was a folded piece of paper.
"Xavier,
Im so sorry for this. I know I have created quite the mess. I was always a f*ck up but this is bad even for me! I never told you, but I have an illness. It makes me forget things, everything. It had started to get bad. Yesterday I didn't even remember you. It was the worst time of my life. But it was different than when I normally dont recognize people. I felt loved, but I didnt know why. I know now its because of you. I just couldnt remember who you were. I didnt want you to ever see that, never see me forget you. The thought of it scares me, and I know im selfish too want you to remember me when I just admitted I had forgotten you before but I cant help it. I dont want this to happen but there is no stopping it, no matter how much I love you I am only human.
Humans die.
Im dying. Its going to be okay though. I just dont want you to see that. Leaving you was the worst thing I have ever endured, but I know I had to. And if I had not done it when I did I would never had been able to let you go. Im a jealous Hoosier bastard but so be it. Your mon amour, and as such you need to know the truth. Im so sorry about all I have out you through but I know you will survive, your strong like that. I just want you to live happy? take care of yourself and just live. See the world, eat all the sweets you want. Laugh and smile. Be happy."
Je t'aime,
Prentiss Proveaux."
Xavier looked up from the note, which was by now smudged with his tears. He coughed hard, his breaths labored and pained.
"What am I supposed to say to that?" He cursed softly, his eyes shifting to his book as the wind blew. His hair swirled around him, his fingers shaking as he reached out. The wind had turned the pages of his book, all the way to the last page.
"Je t'aime." The note read.
"Okay Prentiss...I love you...Okay." Xavier shook his head, his smile in place even as his heart clenched.
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Disparu, mais pas oublié, manqué et aimé, fils aimant. Reposez en paix. (Gone but not forgotten, missed and cherished, loving son. Rest in peace.)
Mon amour (My love)
Mon cherie (My darling)
Je t'aime (I love you)
