50 Somethings

1. Five o'Clock AM: Christophe drops his bag at the door, slipping his boots off before sluggishly forcing himself up the stairs. His shovel is left in the corner, Eric's blue sheets are pulled back. Christophe is dirty and bloody and knows he will get yelled at later, but still he slides himself between the covers. His arms find Eric, familiar in the way they circle his waist. He is pulled back, and made to rest against Christophe's chest. This is routine.

2. Alone: Eric has spent his past few years mostly alone. The few friends he has don't miss his company and he much rather prefers his movies and television shows. He embraces the loneliness. However, this has changed since meeting Christophe. Why does being alone now feel so terrible?

3. Broken: Elvis had never experienced pain like he had the moment Xavier told him it was over. He remembers seeing his future crumbling before him. Recalls an almost blinding pain in his chest. He had never panicked so badly, never been so lost. Today he finds himself wondering how he became so wrecked. He still isnt sure how they broke.

4. Happy: Xavier had never been as happy as he was with Elvis when they first got together. Elvis showed him an entirely new way of life. But when the boy had gotten into drugs, the happiness began to fade until Xavier couldn't take it anymore. And then Prentiss was the only thing that made him feel alive again.

5. Secret: When Barry was asleep, Blaine would sometimes massage his temples, hoping to ease the mans intense headaches. He only did it though when the man wouldn't know, it was his little secret.

6. Jealousy: Livius was always a jealous man, but when it came to Christophe, he was pretty sure he would kill over the man.

7. Savior: There was no hope after you entered Trever's special room. Unless of course you were Trever himself, or Zach. Ian was neither of those, and he never even tried to hold out hope of being saved after Trever strapped him to the table. Yet, in the midst of all his pain, he heard Kelly's voice when the man came home to find him with Trever's hands in his stomach. Believe it or not, he had been saved.

8. Insanity: Some people would think that Trever was the reason for Zachariah's insanity and although the boy knew that was partially true, he also knew that Trever was the only thing that had kept him from going completely over the edge. The last shred of sanity he had left was because of Trever. The man was the only companion he had for most of his life.

9. Missing: Sometimes, when he watched Toni sleeping, Trever wondered why he felt something was...wrong? For the longest time he had been unable to pint point it, but it continued to happen. Finally though, watching Toni's sleeping face, he understood.
Zach wasn't there.
Something was wrong.
Zach should be here.
Without him, a part of Trever's life will forever be lacking.

10. Food: Xavier never thought much about food. He ate only to survive, not for fun. But when Prentiss came into his life and began cooking each and every one of his meals, he found it difficult to go a single day without the boy's cooking.

11. Baby: Shannon was not the only one lacking in the relationship when it came to babies. Brice had always dreamed if being a father, but he doesn't believe bringing a child up with two fathers is fair. So he suffers, Shannon suffers, and what he doesn't realize is if he would just let it go everything would work out. Maybe it's just his father coming out in him.

12. Ring: There were a lot of things Shannon desired that he simply couldn't have as long as Brice was ashamed of his sexuality. A baby of course, was one of them. But the one that possibly hurt him most of all was the fact that he would never bare the last name Brooks.

13. Burden: After his run in with dogs, Christophe had been sure to dig a hole in Eric's back yard. Six feet deep, long enough for Christophe to lie in. It had been his way of making sure his body didn't become something for Eric to deal with, if there was anything left of him when he finally got shot down.

14. Kiss: Cove was known for having sex with nearly anything. But with Leon, during sex he almost felt like he was stealing some of the boy's innocence. With Leon, his favorite thing to do was simply kiss the boy.

15. Detonate: Higgy would lay in bed, thinking of the day he would blow a gasket and hurt Keegan so badly he would lose him. He decided to break things off before they ever got that far. Sleep took him as he finally thought he understood the meaning of loving something enough to let it go.

16. Pain: Zach had been tortured many times. But he had never felt a pain as bad as when Elvis looked at him with so much fear in his eyes.

17. Eclipse: Ian had never felt as though Kelly belonged strictly to him. Misery always stayed in the back of his mind, because he knew that the boy still lingered in Kelly's mind also. It hurt, and so Ian did as he always did. He washed his pain back with vodka, and hoped he would be too numb to feel it.

18. Love: Phoenix wondered what love was a lot. Sure, he loved his parents. He loved Elvis and all of his friends. But he saw the way couples loved each other and he couldn't imagine himself feeling that for anyone. Couldn't imagine being so utterly in love with someone that you would do anything for them. And then Mack came along and showed him how wrong he had been.

19. Fade. Prentiss took a shuddering breath, his heart constricting as he waited. It had gotten to the point where he couldn't remember how to breath by himself, life support was the only thing keeping him going. There was nothing now, he had no idea who he was or where, his brain did not function well enough that he could ever work his eyes open. But there was still that clutch in his heart, as though he needed to stay, to hang on for someone. He wasnt sure, and it only sent his brain floundering when he tried to place his feelings of fear. Alone and disoriented, reaching for Xavier without knowing it, Prentiss faded away.

20. Doom: As Xavier sat there, a small trail of blood dripping from his nose, he let out a raspy breath which would be one of his last. He glanced over to the boy at his side. A boy who had no clue who he was but once Xavier had explained, he'd agreed to hold his hand anyways. He smiled tiredly at Prentiss as the disease took over, his heartbeat slowing down. They might both be doomed, but at least they were together.

21. Satisfaction: As Prentiss and Xavier's relationship grew, Elvis had been thinking more and more of how pleased he would be when Prentiss was finally out of the picture. When it actually happened, and he was forced to watch Xavier crumble before his eyes, he couldn't help but feel sick at how wrong he had been.

22. English: Manuel sometimes had difficulty understanding certain words in English. Some of it just did not make sense. However, the one word he understood completely was the word "beauty." Because to him, the definition of beauty was Augustus.

23. Safety: Christophe had never been protected, his mother had thrown him out into the world without a care in the world, as long as he wasn't in her hair. His entire life he had taken care of himself, and so now, as he examined the strong arms locked around his waist, he wasn't sure how to place this feeling of security.

24. Father: Xavier knew all kinds of love. He knew how to love someone as a parent, like he had loved his mother. He knew how to love someone as a friend, like Killian or Kelton. And he knew how to love someone like a lover like he did Prentiss or Elvis. But one love he'd never been lucky enough to experience was the love of a father for his son. At least not until the day he finally held the newborn boy in his arms.

25. Ache: Elvis watched Xavier laugh, his arm tight around Prentiss's waist. There was promise of a long night in his eyes, and Elvis cursed himself as he was forced to look away. He remembered the way it felt to have that smile directed at him, knew the way Xavier's arm would cradle him. He had known Xavier's love before, but it had been torn from him, wrapped, and neatly handed to Prentiss.
Elvis burned at the thought.