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Dallas Reynolds

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Posts : 141
Join date : 2015-06-10

PostSubject: Comparisons.   Tue Jul 21, 2015 6:41 am

So this is stupid and I was half asleep while writing some of it so there might be typos. It is basically me rambling about Dmitri and Stein and Ajax but I thought you might like some of it heheh



Although he never spoke about his findings out loud, Dmitri always took the time to make sure he knew everything there was to know about his lovers.
He knew that Stein liked him best when he had trimmed his hair just short enough that it was out of his face but it still curled in tight ringlets atop of his head. He knew because of the nights the boy thought he was sleeping and would simply lay there, twirling curls in between his fingers.
It was why although he preferred his hair long, he always kept it trimmed to that perfect length when he was with Stein. And why when he came back to fix the mistake he’d made by leaving Stein in the first place, his hair had been long and wild, but he cut it the first night he was back, wanting Stein to remember how much he had loved to feel those curls in between his fingers.
He knew that Stein loved his eyes more than any other part of his body. He knew because of the way he found the boy staring into them sometimes while softly biting his lower lip, like he always did when he was feeling particularly attracted to Dmitri. He knew because of the day the boy had asked him if they were naturally that silver color and the awe that had been in his eyes when Dmitri answered yes.
He knew that Stein loved when Dmitri would surprise him with his speed at unlikely times. He knew because whenever it happened Stein would always grin so brightly it looked like his cheeks ached. It could be anywhere. Out for a jog, cooking dinner, in the shower, at a pack meeting. Dmitri could pop up at any time, signaling his arrival by taking Stein around the waist and pressing kisses into his hair. And Stein never panicked because he always knew Dmitri was coming as he felt the soft breeze surround him.
He knew Stein loved to hear him speak his native language when they fooled around. He knew because this one wasn’t very hard to figure out with the way Stein would react, back arching as Dmitri muttered obscenities in Russian.
Leaving Stein had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. Even harder than watching as the paramedics hoisted his twin sister’s dead body into the back of the ambulance. It wasn’t a fear of commitment that plagued him, like most thought, but a fear of the months of hell he went through while recovering from the death of a loved one. He couldn’t chance it happening again, not with Stein. He completely believed that leaving Stein was for the boy’s own good, a selfless act. Stein was too precious to lose. Dmitri had to be selfless, to sacrifice his own happiness to save Stein’s life.
If his relationship with Stein had been selfless, then his relationship with Ajax was definitely selfish.
By the time he had met the boy with the long raven locks, he had had enough of being lonely and living in fear of getting too close to anyone. He knew loving Ajax was selfish, putting the boy’s life at risk, but he had convinced himself he deserved this happiness. Ajax was the one thing in life he was not going to give up. Ajax was his and he would not let him go.
Dmitri had started his pursuit of Ajax looking for simply a booty call. But he soon realized that Ajax was so much more.
When he met Ajax he was still chasing after Stein, still wore his hair short and curly. Ajax was a tool he was using so he wouldn’t have to be so lonely while he waited for Stein to come back to him. Their relationship was temporary, although Ajax thought he might have found the one.
But then he’d slowly fallen for the boy, not even coming to this realization until one day he realized his hair was wild and down to his shoulders. Ajax informed him he loved it like this and he should keep it. So he did.
Ajax was easier to figure out than Stein, more outspoken. He would simply tell Dmitri the things he adored. So Dmitri knew that Ajax loved the way he would leave his t-shirts behind for Ajax to wear and the way he would never stop eyeing the boy when he was in them. He knew that Ajax loved his hushed whispers during sex and when he tried to use his speed to bring Ajax more pleasure. He knew that Ajax loved how he ordered for him at restaurants and how he somehow always knew which restaurant Ajax felt like going to. And he knew that Ajax loved his hair long because that was when Dmitri looked like himself. Dmitri knew all of these things because Ajax had simply told him them at one point or another. Ajax was open about everything and yet he was still such a mystery sometimes.
Before he knew it, Dmitri had found his heart split between the two boys. He could not possibly decide who he loved more. It was like comparing apples and oranges. They were both precious to him in so many ways.
Ajax was rock music and laughing so hard together that their stomachs hurt and late night spontaneous trips to the movies or the park. Ajax was dancing in the rain. He was drugs and alcohol and mind blowing sex but he was also fun and lightheartedness and easygoing.
Stein was something else. Stein was soft murmurs of love in the middle of the night. He was gentle touches and loving kisses. He was slow dancing and picnics and cuddling sometimes all day so they didn’t have to get out of bed. Stein was innocence and purity and passion.
Stein was his Солнышко, as he always called him. His sunshine. Stein was always his sunshine because he was the light in his life.
But Ajax was many things. Ajax was Beauty, Prince, Casanova, Boo, Rockstar, Pinup. Ajax was so many things in his life, his everything.
Eventually, he knew he’d fallen just as hopelessly in love with Ajax as he had with Stein. And he was back to where he started, living in fear of losing the boy like he’d lost everything else in his life. But he couldn’t leave this time, he refused. He couldn’t do that to himself again.
But although he loved Ajax, part of his heart would always be with Stein.
And Dmitri knew that one day the two boys would stop trying to compete for his attention and they would both remove themselves from his life.
But maybe that day would be for the best.
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