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 Bullet Proof.

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Beauregard Brannigan

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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Sun Nov 15, 2015 4:51 pm

Vitaly was taken aback by the passionate kiss and being swept off his feet, literally, but he didn't pull back. He wrapped his arms around the soldier's neck, pressing himself closer. He smiled softly when they pulled apart, heart beating just a bit faster at the man's words.
"It's not bad. I think... I think I love you too, Bell." He murmured softly, his stomach dropping at this realization.
He was in love.
And it was doomed to end soon.
He had never fucked up so badly before.
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Bellamy Odair

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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Sun Nov 15, 2015 8:32 pm

"Oh yeah?  Well then I think thats a cause for celebration." The soldier carried Vitaly back over to his bed, but he never let go, not even when he rolled them onto the mattress. It was too good, hearing that the Russian actually returned his feelings.  He knew that it was something that had never happened before.  He was Vitaly's  first love.
Maybe he could also be the last. 
"How about for celebration, I ask you to be my boyfriend and you agree?  Does that sound good to you?"  It sounded amazing to him.  After Britt he had never entertained the idea of trying for another relationship with his profession to get in the way.  But he loved Vitaly so much, and the boy was so precious...
The soldier had faith that they could make it, as long as they were together..
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Sun Nov 15, 2015 9:08 pm

"I think I can do that." Vitaly smirked lightly, reaching up to gently caress the man's cheek as they laid there, bodies pressed against each other. He could never remember feeling so comfortable and at ease before in his life. He leaned in, stealing another soft kiss. He had doubted it before when Bellamy said this sort of thing felt different when you were in love but now he believed it, definitely. It was like he was only truly happy when Bellamy's hands were on him somehow. As soon as they were apart, he ached for the man's company again. He tried to convince himself it was a nuisance, but really, he enjoyed it. "I love you." He repeated when he pulled away, resting their foreheads together and glancing into the man's baby blue eyes. He then allowed himself to get comfortable, nuzzling his head into the crook of the man's neck.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Sun Nov 15, 2015 9:22 pm

"And I love you.  So i'm asking you now, be my boyfriend."  Bellamy found that he was completely lost in the boys eyes, the emotion that bubbled up in him making it impossible for his lips to stop moving. "You have never loved anyone before, so just let me tell you now that every time you say that you love me, me! My entire stomach flips.  Its so much better than just butterflies.  And touching you is electric. I dont care if we ever actually make love, as long as I can always hold you this close to me.  I'd be the luckiest man in the word just to have that. I mean, don't get me wrong, It'd be a high honor to make love to you, but the highest honor is just hearing that you love me.  It's breath taking and it makes me what to run through all my service time so that I can retire and build us a home. My life is you now.  My future?  All you. I want little blonde Russian babies running around and a wedding, however you want it."  The soldier was grasping at Vitaly's hands, kissing each of the boys knuckles between words.  "Or hey, if you dont want that then okay.  I'll just build a house however you want it and we can grow old together.  So say yes, and me mine.  My boyfriend.  Love me now and forever, because i'll never stop loving you.  An entire eternity could pass and my soul would still be loving you."
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Sun Nov 15, 2015 11:55 pm

Vitaly felt tears pricking his eyes as Bellamy spoke of all these things, the future they'd never get to experience together. But he hoped they could pass as happy tears as he hid his face into the soldier's chest.
"Yes, Bellamy. I'll be your boyfriend." He spoke gently, wrapping his arms around the other man's shoulders. He definitely needed to cherish this night.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Mon Nov 16, 2015 12:25 am

"Hey, what's wrong with you?"  The soldier was immediately pushing himself up, pulling Vitaly so that the boy was sitting chest to chest with him.  He reached then to gently take the Russian's face in his hands, his hold tender and loving even as he forced the boy to look at him. He could smell the sadness, and it had his chest constricting so terribly that for a moment Bellamy couldn't seem to catch his breath. 
"If you don't want to be my boyfriend then thats really okay.  I will understand if thats what it is.  I'm just happy to have your love.  I dont need any more than that."  His voice was soft and sweet, blue eyes alight with concern as they searched the Russian's face for sign's of what could be causing him pain.  "Im not trying to force anything on you.  I just want your company, sweetheart..."
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Mon Nov 16, 2015 1:01 am

"It's not that at all, Bellamy." Vitaly shook his head, sighing as he was forced to look into the man's eyes. He should have known the boy could damn smell it on him. "I want to be your boyfriend, truly. You are the first thing that's ever brought me joy. It's just... I'm afraid it won't last." He murmured softly. It wasn't a lie completely. Except he wasn't just afraid it wouldn't last, he knew.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Mon Nov 16, 2015 5:31 am

"It's going to last, Vitaly.  I'm going to make it last, as long as you will let me."  Bellamy had the boy tucked protectively against his chest, strong arms curled warmly around the Russian's waist.   His eyelids seemed to be drifting shut but Bellamy was desperately trying to stay awake.   He was adoring this time spent with Vitaly,  wanting to hear of the boys love over and over again.   But eventually though sleep got the best of him and the soldier was left snoring softly.  Vitaly was left with the mans sweet face and his modestly styled room.  Without realizing it, Bellamy had accidentally kicked a large tin box out from under his bed when he'd moved to sweep Vitaly into his arms.   It was only just peeking out but still enough to be seen. 
Inside was every  letter Britt had ever sent him, along with all the pictures he had taken with so much love for the boy.   
And finally,  the last of the letters seemed to be slightly chard at the edges, as though Bellamy had attempted to burn it at some point but he hadn't had the heart to follow through.   It was his memories if Britt, a box he still occasionally pulled out when he  particularly missed the boy.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Mon Nov 16, 2015 6:18 am

Vitaly stayed awake for a long while, simply watching Bellamy sleep with a soft smile on his face. He wasn't tired at all, really. He preferred to be awake at night and then sleep until the late afternoon. After a while though, he grew restless, deciding to slip out of bed and once more peek at the photographs on the wall, smiling at the various group family shots. He particularly enjoyed ones from when Bellamy was younger, before he'd gotten so big and muscular. It was when he turned to get back in bed that he noticed the box sticking out. He paused a moment before bending down, taking a seat on the floor as he debated on whether or not he should open it.
After a few minutes, he decided to do it. He tried not to think of it as invading his boyfriend's privacy, but instead as just doing research for the job he should have done weeks ago. He was merely obtaining more information on his target.
He opened it, beginning to look through the pictures, his heart sinking. Britt. He recognized the redhead who was probably still somewhere in the house with his tongue down his new lover's throat. He already hated the boy even though they'd never spoken in person. He knew the story and he couldn't help but hate that even after how badly he'd been hurt, Bellamy still harbored feelings for the boy, still kept a box full of fucking pictures of him.
He would admit, he was jealous. But it was more than that. He was angry. Britt didn't deserve Bellamy's love.
He knew he would regret it later, but he began reading through the letters that he found in the box as well. He found himself getting progressively angrier with each letter, as he knew where it was going. Britt sounded so sweet and it was all going to end with Bellamy's heart breaking. He hated it. Then finally, he reached the last of them. He wondered if this could really be the one, where he'd ended everything. He didn't think he wanted to read it if it was. But he knew he had to. He'd gone too far now. He began to read.
"Bellamy,
There’s so much I want to say to you right now but I don’t know how to say it. I wish I could have you back here with me so I could talk to you in person and you would understand what I meant and finish my sentence for me, like you always do. But then again, I’m also glad you’re not here because I wouldn’t have the balls to do this in person.
I slept with someone else.
There’s no nicer way to say it.
I was missing you so bad. It’d been so long that it took me a while to remember the scent of your cologne. But I fixed that by finding one of your shirts. It was the old black button down that you thought you lost, remember? It was just under my bed the whole time. But after a while, Bellamy, I got tired of having that shirt as my only companion. Of course, I had that teddy bear you won me. I slept with that for the first few weeks. I’d squeeze its paw to play that message you recorded for me. It comforted me at first, helped me breathe when I was struggling to remember the sound of your voice. But then, after a while it was like it was mocking me. Just repeating those same few words. I wanted more. It pissed me off that those were the only words I could hear you say anymore so I ripped the stupid voicebox out of it. I regretted that later.
But the point is that I was lonely. I never thought about how long five months truly was. And so I went over to Piper’s to get something to get my mind off of you and Morgan was there. He was already tripping when I got there and he offered to help me shoot up but I didn’t feel like it anymore. And then I started crying on him and I don’t know why. I guess he made me think of you since normally I only saw him when you brought him over. But he told me it was going to be alright and he’d help me feel better. So he took me back to his place and he did. I let him fuck me. Don’t blame him though. He was high. I wasn’t. I could have said no. I didn’t. Don’t let me ruin your friendship, please. You guys have been best friends since you were kids. He needs you and you need him. I don’t want to be the thing that ruins that.
I know I probably didn’t have to tell you this if I’m ending things anyway, but I feel like you deserved to know I was a cheater. I always told you how much I hated my mother and how deep down, I was afraid of turning into her. I guess it’s happening now.
You’re going to be home in a month. A part of me wants to hang in there, to be waiting for you when you get here like I promised you. But shit, I can’t do this Bellamy. I can’t do it again. I love you, you know I love you. But I can’t live a life like this, spending nights all alone, clutching onto your shirt as if it’s a life line and praying that you’re okay, holding my breath until a letter from you arrives to assure me. I didn’t think it would be so hard, loving a soldier. But it’s hell, my own personal hell.
So I’m sorry, Bellamy. I know you deserve so much better and that you are the best lover I’ll ever have. I want you to know that the months we spent together were the best of my life. Every moment spent with you, I’m going to cherish for as long as I live. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything and more than I’ll ever love anything in the future. I’m so fucking sorry and I wish I could do it, but I just can’t. If I could, I would because giving you up is the last thing I want to do. I never thought I was weak but I’ve been pathetic these past four months without you here.
I miss you. I know I’ll still miss you in a month when you get back and I’ll have to fight against every muscle in my body to not go run to you and beg you to stay home with me and never leave again. God, you have no clue how much I want to be there, to see you just one more time, have one last kiss. But I will fight it, and I won’t be there when you get home. This is it, Bellamy. And I’m sorry it had to be this way, because you don’t deserve to be hurt by someone as shitty as me. But maybe this will be better for you in the long run. You always did deserve better.
I know I’m never going to be able to forget about you and the way you showed me off like your most prized possession or the way you’d hold me tight against your chest when we’d cuddle. I’m never going to be able to get the image of your smile out of my brain or forget the feeling of your hands on my skin. I won’t forget your lips or your eyes or your dimples. And I’m glad, because I want to remember. I’m terrified you’ll forget though. I’m terrified that someday thirty years from now you’ll have that perfect little family you always wanted and maybe you’ll drive past my apartment building and you won’t even stop and remember the time we laughed all the way up to my room and the way you pressed me against the door to kiss me because you couldn’t even wait until we got inside. I’m afraid you’ll walk down the boardwalk and watch the sunset and you’ll comment on how beautiful the sky looks and you won’t remember how you used to sigh and look at me and tell me it could never compare to the color of my hair. I’m afraid that you’ll hear that Johnny Cash song you loved so much and you’ll sing it to your new husband, not even realizing that you used to sing it in my ear while you were trying to get me to stop doing whatever I was doing and dance with you. That’s my worst fear, being forgotten by you. But I also want you to forget. I know forgetting me will make this so much easier. Part of me wishes I could just forget you too. But I don’t think either of us will really ever be able to, no matter how much we’ll wish we could.
Goodbye, soldier. I still love you with all of my fucking heart.
Love, Britt.”
Vitaly felt pain radiating from his heart as he finished, but also anger. He was so damn angry, he swore he had to have steam coming out of his ears like in some cartoon.
This letter was like it was designed to hurt Bellamy as much as possible. It was all a fucking lie how Britt said he wanted Bellamy to forget and hurt as little as possible. It was bullshit, Vitaly knew. If Britt truly wanted to get Bellamy over him, he would have been distant. He might have even been rude so Bellamy could hate him and get over him faster. He wouldn't have described their memories in such detail, wouldn't have talked about the struggle he'd had while missing Bellamy. This letter was full of fucking excuses and Vitaly despised it. Britt was trying to get Bellamy to pity him, to not hate him for what he'd done. But he deserved to be hated. He had cheated on Bellamy with the soldier's best friend. And yet, Bellamy still adored him.
Britt had even stated in the letter that he was afraid of Bellamy forgetting him. So he had done everything to ensure that wouldn't happen. He had made it impossible for the soldier to move on from him or ever forget him. It was the worst thing he could have done. And Vitaly wanted to strangle him for it.
The Russian had always had a bad temper and now he could feel his heart pumping, the anger coursing through him. He wanted to hit something. He was already on his feet with the letter clutched in his fist. He had to move, he couldn't stay sitting still. And then before he could stop himself he was storming out of the room, the burnt paper still in his hand.
He just hoped Britt was still down in the living room. The boy would be lucky to ever leave this house again unless it was in an ambulance.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Mon Nov 16, 2015 4:47 pm

Sawyer had tucked Britt protectively behind him at the first sour vibes of trouble. He could feel Vitaly's fury before he ever actually heard the boy moving towards them down the staircase. 
"What in the fuck ith going on?"  The young werewolf was immediately glowering at Vitaly as the boy finally made it into the living room. "The hell do you want? Bringing your ath down here like you're ready for a fight."  Sawyer could still feel the tension, even more so now that the Russia had finally made it down to face them.  He was completely shielding his mate at this point, green eyes sharp and daring on Vitaly.  "Aren't you thuppothed to be up that tholdier'th ath or thomething?"
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Mon Nov 16, 2015 5:17 pm

"Why don't you read this and then ask why I'm ready for a fight." Vitaly simply shoved the letter into the wolf's chest. His accent was much thicker in his anger, but it wasn't so bad that he couldn't be understood.
Britt visibly deflated from behind his lover as he saw the letter. He knew exactly what it was, still remembered writing it while wearing one of Bellamy's shirts and trying not to cry.
"Alright if that's what you're pissed about then I deserve it." He sighed, sidestepping out from behind Sawyer to face the Russian. "Don't read it though, please." Britt grimaced at his lover. He didn't want the boy to know that the teddy bear that still sat in the corner of his room had been from Bellamy, didn't want the man to know that he had screwed Bellamy's best friend, didn't want him to know that that black button down shirt that he'd found under his pillow one time hadn't been a random shirt some guy must have left there like he said it was.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Mon Nov 16, 2015 5:45 pm

Sawyer had grunted as the letter was thrust at him, a scowl contorting his face as he reached out to shove Britt back behind him.  "You juth thut the hell up and let me read.  I alwayth wanted to thee want you thaid to him."  It bothered Sawyer, how sometimes he would still catch his mate watching the soldier, almost like Britt was missing him. 
He had to know what had happened between them, so the boy found himself glaring through the beginning lines of his mates print. As he read though, Sawyer's face fell completely before coming back to rest at an expression of anguish.  By the time he had finished, he was clutching at his heart and trembling so terribly it was almost impossible to make out the last lines of how Britt loved the solider with all his heart. But the young wolf managed, and it left him feeling as though fire was eating up his chest and stomach.
Britt had fucked around with the mans bestfriend.
That damned teddy bear, and the button downed shirt....
It was enough to cut off his breath, almost feeling as though it could even stop his heart.
Still though, when Sawyer looked up, he was growling at Vitaly once more.
"Alright.  Now take thith thit and thove it up your ath. I'll handle my mate. You go back to the damned tholdier. Or did hith big puthy ath thend you down here in the firth plathe?" The young werewolf crumbled the letter in his hand only to throw it against Vitaly's chest. "Get the fuck out of here."
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Mon Nov 16, 2015 6:17 pm

Vitaly had come down here to hurt Britt. But if Sawyer wouldn't move and he was going to refer to Bellamy as a pussy, he could take his mate's place very easily. Vitaly didn't even hesitate in landing a punch to the werewolf's jaw. He had been trained in hand to hand combat growing up, but his preferred methods of fighting were normally not so blunt. Tonight though, he couldn't simply use a pressure point and knock Sawyer out, he wanted to hurt something.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Mon Nov 16, 2015 7:55 pm

Sawyer was rocked backwards by the impact, having not truly expected the Russian to advance on him. It only took the young werewolf a moment though to gather himself enough to retaliate.  He was reaching out to grasp Vitaly by the collar of his shirt, his arm yanking forward to draw the boy into his awaiting fist.
He was never actually able to land one punch on the Russian though.
Bellamy had been there within seconds, with just enough time to come in between them and steal Vitaly out of his hold.
And then Sawyer was falling.
It was all happening so fast that the werewolf hadnt realized what was going on until it was too late and the soldier was already hovering over him, his fist striking out to deliver fully weighted blows. 
Bellamy had become aware the moment Vitaly left his room.  While sleeping he had felt the loss of warmth, but he had been comforted knowing the Russian was still with him.  But then there had been anger, and Vitaly was suddenly gone.
The soldier had awoken with such a startle that he completely tripped upon getting out of the bed, his feet knocking over the tin box that had been left out in his floor.
Panic had immediately consumed him then.
Vitaly had read his letter.
The boy was going for a fight.
Fear was suddenly seizing the soldier, his chest constricting at the thought of Vitaly hurting Britt.  It hadnt been until he actually reached the bottom of the stairs that he realized Britt was in no danger at all.  It was Sawyer and Vitaly going at it.
Sawyer was putting his hands on Vitaly.
Touching his sunshine with the intent to hurt.
Something snapped inside of Bellamy then.  He had never felt such a rage, not even after finding out his bestfriend had fucked around with Britt. This feeling could hardly even be described as human.  It had Bellamy losing himself completely with the need to protect his boyfriend, the sweetest thing in his life.
He had Sawyer on the ground within second, a constant string of angry curses bleeding from his lips.
He never cursed.
He was never violent.
But now, now he was striking for blood.
The soldier never even stopped to ask questions.  There was no need to.
Laying hands on Vitaly was instantly punishable by death.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Mon Nov 16, 2015 8:40 pm

Britt immediately panicked. He had never seen Bellamy like this before. He had heard the man curse, but only a few times while they were making love, when he simply couldn't help himself. But he was sure he'd never ever seen the man even raise his voice in anger. This was dangerous.
He lunged, attempting to tug on Bellamy's shoulders to get the man off of his lover. But the next thing he knew he was being flipped by the Russian, thrown to the ground nearly ten feet away. The fall knocked nearly all the breath out of him but he was relatively unharmed, just wondering how in the hell the small boy had been able to do that. He was fairly sure Vitaly wasn't a wolf. As soon as he caught his breath he was crawling over toward the two werewolves, trying to shove himself in between them to keep his lover safe. Vitaly seemed to determine to keep him down though. He wasn't sure what the boy was doing when he grabbed him by a certain spot on his neck but then everything was dark.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Tue Nov 17, 2015 1:25 am

The moment Britt lost consciousness, both werewolves stalled completely in their fight.  They could feel it, the loss of Britt's awareness.  Even though Sawyer was his mate now and Bellamy hadn't so much as held the boy in years, both of them were running to Britt as if the redhead was the only thing that mattered in the world.
"What in the hell did you do, Vitaly?"  Bellamy was turning to look at the Russian, his expression nearly a glare as he searched the boys face for answers.  "Dammit what did you do to him?" The soldier's hands were carefully cradling Britt's head as Sawyer moved around to gently caress the boys face and study his chest. There seemed to be no visible injuries, and it only did more to panic the two men.  It was the first time in their lives that they had been civil with each other, and it was all because Britt had been hurt.
"I-I thwear if he ith hurt i'll fucking thee you dead!" Sawyer was sputtering in his fear, not even acknowledging Bellamy and his demands for the young wolf to leave Vitaly alone. But even as Bellamy defended the boy, his face was set with anger and concern.  
"Why did you have to hurt him?  It damn hurts me when he is hurt, Vitaly! There was no reason for this!"  Not even the letter was reason to lay hands on Britt, not in Bellamy's eyes.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Tue Nov 17, 2015 1:59 am

"He's fucking fine." Vitaly snapped bitterly. At seeing how concerned Bellamy was for Britt, concerned enough to glare at him like that, Vitaly's entire chest felt like it was on fire.
If this was what love led to, then fuck this. Maybe he should just kill the man right now after all.
"I could have killed him if I wanted to. I didn't." His voice was nothing more than a soft growl, red tint still rising up to color his cheeks in his anger. "He'll be up in five minutes. So while you two fucking cry over his poor innocent body, I'll just go get my things." He was nearly seething in his anger, letting out a string of Russian curse words. He knew he was being pathetic, could feel hot, angry tears threatening to fall. But he couldn't help it.
Here he was, falling so fucking fast for this soldier that he'd been sent to kill, keeping himself up at night with guilt over what he would have to do. And Bellamy didn't give a shit, didn't care that the entire reason he'd hurt Britt in the first place was because of how passionately he felt about the soldier. No, he didn't care about any of that. He was just fucking worried about his precious Britt being hurt even though the boy didn't give two shits about him.
It pissed Vitaly off to no end. Fuck this.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:15 am

"Vitaly, stop."  Bellamy shook his head at the boy, turning instead to hand Britt off to Sawyer so that he could be free of this.  "It had to be a pressure point.  Five minutes like he said. Stay with him."  It was all the soldier said before rising once more and reaching out to sweep Vitaly into his arms.  Even if the Russian struggled, there would be no releasing him, not until Bellamy was able to stroke the boys cheeks and clear the tears from his eyes.  
"You can't go anywhere, you promised to spend the night with me."  The soldier almost paused to pick up the note, but he was stopped by the fire that began trailing up his chest.  This was because of Vitaly, and the connection he'd already tethered with the boy.  He couldnt possible touch that note.
So Bellamy left it laying there for Sawyer to keep, instead busying himself with rubbing Vitaly's back in an attempt to soothe the boys pain. 
"And you can't be mad at me for caring about him. He was my first love, okay?  My first kiss and the first sexual experience and all of those special things so I can't just hate him because of how he chose to hurt me. Love doesn't work like that. Not if its real."  The young wolf was on his way back up to his room by now, not wanting to see Britt anymore after seeing how it affected Vitaly.  "But I love you more so I'm still on your side.  I just...I still hate to see Britt hurt.  It wasn't like it was when I thought Sawyer was going to hit you though.  I dont think I've ever been scared like that before..."  Not even when he'd thought he was dying.  "So im sorry for raising my voice and cursing at you.  That was rude and wrong and hurtful. I wont make any excuses.  But I love you and im still asking you to stay."
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Tue Nov 17, 2015 4:00 am

"I'll be honest, when I found the pictures I was... hurt. I told you, I have never cared for someone in this way before so I don't understand how hard it must be but I didn't realize you were still so in love with him. I was hurt but I wasn't angry with you. But when... when I hurt him and you glared at me... I've never felt anything that hurt that badly. It means you care about him more. And I know I can't make you stop caring about him altogether but you can't... if you're my boyfriend, Bellamy, you can't put him first. I feel as if all he has to do is tell you to drop me and you would. I don't want to feel like that ever again." The Russian spoke gently, never looking away from the soldier's eyes while he spoke. He wasn't used to showing this much emotion but he wanted to be honest. If he was going to continue to be second, things were not going to last.
And that was when it hit him.
Things weren't going to last. It didn't matter if Bellamy still loved Britt because their relationship only had mere weeks, maybe days even. He shouldn't be hurting this badly. If Bellamy yelling at him made him hurt this badly, what was it going to feel like to kill the boy?
And then, he was sure he was going to pass out himself. He couldn't breathe. He leaned forward, letting go of any anger that remained and hiding his face in Bellamy's chest, not holding the tears back anymore.
He was so screwed.

As Vitaly had promised, a few minutes later and Britt was blinking his eyes open, groaning softly as he regained consciousness. The first thing he did was look up for Sawyer. He was relieved to see the man okay and hovering over him. Then, he looked to see if Bellamy was still there.
The man was gone.
That was when he knew, just how serious Bellamy and Vitaly were.
Vitaly was taking the soldier's love back.
Britt knew he should be happy that Bellamy was moving on, wouldn't be hurting over him anymore. But truly, he was jealous. Hurt that Bellamy was not here checking on him.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Tue Nov 17, 2015 4:34 am

Bellamy had been trying to process the boys words in an attempt to find some way to make Vitaly understand that he was in no way second. Before he managed anything though,  the Russian had tears filling his eyes.  It immediately had the soldier's breath catching in his throat, heart thudding so powerfully in his chest that for a moment he confused his heart ache with an actual heart attack.  He could not handle this.  Seeing and feeling Vitaly hurt was nearly enough to drop Bellamy to his knees.  The soldier was forced to sit at the top of the stair case, unwilling to take another step until he had wiped Vitaly's tears away.
"Hey, look at me.  And listen."  His hands were soft and warm and they gathered at the Russian's cheeks, forcing the boy to look at him and his fiercely loving gaze. "Im telling you now that I kept those picture because I couldnt handle just throwing them out.  And I couldnt keep looking at them.  Honestly I forgot they were there ever since i've had you in my life.  I haven't needed them...I have been busy with all the pictures I have of you stored on my phone."  His thumb was carefully stroking just under Vitaly's eye, warm and comforting as he spoke. "So im ready now.  I'll get rid of the pictures and all the letters if it will make you understand that you are first and foremost in my life. I want that picket fence future with you, remember? I didn't mean to raise my voice. I was still in an adrenaline rush from seeing Sawyer trying to strike you.  And I hated to see you having to fight for me when its not worth it."  He was gathering the Russian's hands in his own now, bringing them up to his mouth in order to press butterfly kisses to each palm and every finger. "He was like a sweetheart, but you, you are my soul mate.  I know.  I can feel it.  Britt was a tiny chapter in my life but you are everything else. Beginning, middle and end. I want you through everything.  You are not second. Never think you are second." The man was swearing as though he were making wedding vows, sitting with Vitaly cradled tenderly against his chest. "You are my home.  I love you more than anything." 

Sawyer had been unable to breathe as he watched his mate, the fear constricting his chest enough to stall him completely.  But then Britt was stirring, and the young werewolf was immediately flooded with relief. 
It was short lived though.
Because then Britt was looking around for Bellamy, the sour scent of jealousy and hurt radiating from the red head strong enough to physically strike Sawyer.
"Y-You...You're thearching for that fucking tholdier?"
But what about him? 
Was Britt not even slightly concerned with is anguish at knowing that he had made love to Britt with Bellamy's white teddy bear sitting right beside them?  Did the boy not care that knowing about the black button down shirt was literally eating a hole in the young wolfs stomach?  Sawyer was completely overwhelmed with grief. 
"You know what? Why don't you go after him if you want him tho badly. I...I can't handle thith anymore. I wath juth getting my ath kicked trying to protect you and you're worried about fucking Bellamy? Do you care about me even a little? Or am I alwayth juth an after thought? The only time you really wanted me wath when thome one elthe had me..." The young werewolf thought he was going to be sick, the stinging in his eyes harsh enough to have even his temples searing. He loved Britt so much, but no matter what he did there was always someone else to over shadow him. Britt could never be his and his alone.  The boy belonged to damn near everyone, and Sawyer simply couldnt keep up.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Tue Nov 17, 2015 4:52 am

"I'm sorry." The Russian stammered out. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fucking cry on you. Jesus, I look pathetic." He cursed himself softly, roughly wiping at the tears still coming, dripping down his cheeks. "I shouldn't be coming in here and demanding you get rid of your shit. You can keep them, Bellamy, in case something ever happens to me. You can still have them to look at." He was rambling softly, hiding his face in the soldier's chest as the pain surged through him, worse than anything he'd ever felt in his life. What had he done? He was not going to be able to live anymore after killing Bellamy. He was already considering just ending it all, killing himself instead. But no, then another boy would just be sent to finish the job. He would have to just do it.

"Sawyer, no." Britt sputtered softly, eyes wide as he reached out for his lover hurting to see the tears forming in the man's eyes. "I'm sorry, fuck. I didn't mean to look for him. I wanted to see you first. Just after I saw you, I was wondering if he was still down here, that's all. It's not like I need him like I need you. I just... expect him to be here. I was just thinking he would be worried, I'm sorry." He hung his head like a kicked puppy then, feeling his lover's pain. He felt like shit. "I'm sorry about everything, Sawyer. I'm sorry for always fucking hurting you, really. I-I always want you first. You're never an after thought, trust me. I just... I'm a fuck up, Sawyer. You should know that by now. I ruin everything I touch."
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Tue Nov 17, 2015 4:53 pm

Hey, stop that.  That's crazy talk. You don't look pathetic."  The soldier was dropping sweet kisses against the boys cheeks, tenderly clearing away tears and leaving instead the warmth of his love.  "You are really gorgeous.  I mean, you're like that all the time, but even now with your face all pink and your eyes watering, you're just a masterpiece. But I have to make you stop crying though, I can't handle you hurting."  The soldier cooed softly against the Russian's cheek as he leaned over to caress the rest of the wetness away.  He seemed to be rocking the boy slightly as he spoke, as though Vitaly were an infant he was trying so desperately to calm. "And you have every right to come in here and make any demands you want.  You're my boyfriend now and we're building a life together. Our life." The man lovingly brushed some strand hair away from Vitaly's face, their foreheads coming to rest together as he spoke. "Nothing is going to happen to you.  I wont let anything ever happen to you.  You and me are going to do the whole thing where we have kids and then grow blissfully old together.  Because of that, I dont need these pictures of Britt. I am going to go start a fire, right now. And you are going to take me outside and we are going to burn them.  After that I get to start my new collection.  Hows that sound?"


"Yeah....I gueth maybe you do."  Britt had certainly ruined him by now.  If his constant yearning for the soldier wasn't enough to break Sawyer, then the knowledge of the white teddy bear and the button down shirt had finally snapped whatever had been holding him together.   It wasn't enough that Britt had fucked nearly everyone he knew, the boy had to have feelings for these past people as well.   Sawyer would never be able to feel confident in their relationship, there were too many shadows hanging over his head. 
"You thay that I'm not thecond but I'm thill not enough for you.   You thill felt the need to look for fucking Bellamy, even though he wath juth damn thwinging at me over that bitch Ruthian."  The young werewolf hated to hear himself,  how pronounced his lisp was in the face of his tears.  He felt as though his mate had been cheating on him all this time with that damned bear sitting up in his apartment. 
"Im tho tired of loving you like thith.....I juth want to be enough for you.   If you juth-juth tell me what to do and I'll do it.  Anything.  But I can't keep competing for you....not when you already have all my love and I'm left with juth half of yourth. Fucking Bellamy and Piper have everything elthe! And ith not fair! " The young werewolf's chest was heaving under the intensity of his emotion, green eyes threatening to over flow with hurt. "I juth love you tho much.  Why can't you love me back?"
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Tue Nov 17, 2015 5:22 pm

Vitaly could only nod this time, a few tears still trailing down his cheeks as he leaned into the man's embrace.
"That sounds perfect." He spoke gently. "Although I would still be alright if you wanted to keep them. Even if I'm your boyfriend now, you haven't known me for nearly as long as you've loved him. I will be fine, really." He reassured, reaching out to gently caress the man's cheek with the back of his hand.

Britt felt like he had been punched in the gut as Sawyer agreed with him, said maybe he did ruin everything. Of course he knew it was true but he was simply so used to the man reassuring him, promising him everything was okay and he was perfect.
He'd really fucked up this time.
"I do love you, Sawyer. You have to know that." Britt pleaded softly. "I don't love them anymore. It's different with you. I... I miss Bellamy sometimes, it's true. I can't hide that from you. But I don't love him. I left him for a reason. Piper and I ended for a reason. I'm still here with you. I've promised to be with you for the rest of my life, Sawyer. I never thought I'd do that with anyone. You know how afraid I was of commitment. But here I am! And I haven't even though about leaving and I know for most people that isn't a big deal, but it is for me. It's how I know you're different and how I know this is real. I love you so much that I'd... I'd fucking marry you, Sawyer. And marriage used to scare the shit out of me! I know I'm still a fucking bitch and I fuck up but I'm trying. I'm really trying to get better for you, I am. Just know that you do have all of my love, I'm just really awful at showing it. I don't love anybody else anymore, I just forget sometimes why I'm not with them anymore. When you break up with someone, you miss all the good times but you forget about all the bad things. Bellamy never made me laugh like you do. Piper never held me like you do. Neither of them compare to you. Bellamy was sweet and romantic, Piper was badass and a sex god. You, you're all of that and so much more. There's a reason I'm with you instead of them. And I never opened up to them and told them all my feelings like this. I never tell anybody this shit but I want to tell you because I want to make sure you know it. I want you to know that I do fucking love you, so much. I want you to know because I can't handle seeing you cry, Sawyer. I can't take it." Britt's words came out rapidly, nearly breathless by the time he finished. He had never looked away from Sawyer's teary green eyes the entire time.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Tue Nov 17, 2015 6:44 pm

"I will love you longer than i've loved him though.  And I will never have to worry about you leaving me because like you said, im your home right?"  The soldier offered a charming and deep dimpled smile, reaching up to capture the hand at his cheek and instead bring it down to his mouth for a tender kiss to the Russian's palm. "So come on, lets get that fire started."  The man was already moving, lifting Vitaly back into his arms as he ventured back into his bedroom to gather the box and all the photo's held spilled out in his haste to defend the boy earlier. "I also have a few shirts he liked to wear.  Britt left them with Morgan to give back because he couldnt face me."  The soldier's entire stomach sank in thought of his former best friend.  He had truly loved Morgan, trusted the man to care for his family if anything had ever happened to him.
He'd made the man promise to watch over Britt while he was gone.
It had been one of the biggest mistakes of his life.
"I want to get everything.  I want to let him go completely.  I have you now.  There's no reason for me to hurt anymore." 

"You let me make love to you right bethide that bear.  Hell, I've uthed it ath a pillow before! I didn't know any better! And that shirt....You lied to my fathe about it belonging to thome one night thand."  Sawyer could hear the boys words, but they were hard to believe at this point.  If Britt truly had let Bellamy go then he wouldn't have been lying all this time about those stupid little things. "I love you and you lied to me. I could have bought you a new bear. And my thirt'th, I alwayth leave them laying around for you to wear becauthe I love to thee you in them, and it maketh my heart warm when you thleep with them to feel me near you.  But that one thirt....It wath hith and you wanted it near you.  You wanted him...And I wath right there the entire time." The young werewolf was completely breathless in his heartache, his cheeks completely flushed with the embarrassment of it all.  He was never supposed to cry like this, especially not in front of Britt. He was the big bad wolf.  
The young wolf roughly drug his arm across his face in an attempt to wipe away the sting from his eyes.  The last thing he needed was any more humiliation.  It was enough that Britt had been looking around for Bellamy.
He'd even been disappointed and jealous to find the soldier was gone.
Why couldnt his concern be enough?  He had been on the edge of tears already just because his mate was so damned limp, and no matter what he'd been whispering the boy hadnt been moving.
But it wasnt enough.
His relieved gasp and happy tears had not been enough.
What more could he do?
"Leth juth forget about it.  I'll buy you more flowerth and another bear.  Juth...I don't want to talk about thith anymore right now."  It was like his heart was threatening to rupture inside his chest.  He had never felt so helpless before.  Nothing he could do would fix anything, and to be openly hurt would only drive his mate further away.
He had to suck it up.
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PostSubject: Re: Bullet Proof.    Tue Nov 17, 2015 7:01 pm

"I'm sorry about Morgan also... I was too busy trying to hurt Britt that I forgot to talk to you about what I read. First of all, I'm sorry I looked in the box without your permission, that was rude. But since there's no taking that back, I want to let you know that you're far too good for him. And that Morgan boy was not good enough to be your best friend. Do you still speak with him?" Vitaly was guessing the answer was no since he'd never met the man.

Britt was finding it difficult to breathe now. He was not used to this. Typically, all he had to do was reassure Sawyer, tell him he was loved and then he was forgiven.
Why wasn't it working this time?
"Sawyer... I want to talk about it. I don't want you feeling like this." His own blue eyes were shining with tears now. How did he fix this? "I'm sorry about the shirt and the bear. The shirt... I took it out from under my pillow the day you found it. It's still in my closet but it's just because I couldn't make myself throw it out. I haven't looked at it in forever. I always wear your shirts, I love when you leave them for me. And the teddy bear... it meant a lot to me. Not even just because it was from him, I just liked cuddling it. It became a comforting thing for me whenever I was alone. But we can get rid of it. I just never wanted to do it but we can, okay? We'll go home and I'll let you go through my apartment, find anything that he's ever touched, and we'll replace it. I never meant it to hurt you so bad, Sawyer. You're my fucking world now."
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Bullet Proof.
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