All I want

Staring into those eyes, so blue they rivaled the clearest of skies, Eustass nearly wanted to believe the boy. He had no clouds on the bright horizon of his face...
Maybe Thatcher was right, the alpha pondered as warmth surged through him, maybe all he had to do was trust in his new beta. The soldier did give him a strange sort of hope, an emotion he'd thought was lost to him forever. Eustass was so consumed with Thatch's words that he'd yet to realize how the warmth had began in his hand, traveling up his arm and all the way across his chest, even centering at his heart. It was obvious when the alpha finally noticed. His mouth fell open in shock at the sight of their hands, how Thatcher had reached for him.
There was a moment of stillness, Eustass's heart swelling with the knowledge that his beta had been trying so desperately to soothe him. But then he remembered why it was a bad idea. The simplest gestures completely swept him away. Any more and the alpha would be attached in ways he didn't care to imagine.
Eustass yanked his hand away, nearly sending his chair toppling back behind him with how suddenly he stood. The man was pacing about the room then, pretending he was merely cleaning the mess he'd made instead of trying to put space between them. This was bad. Very bad. Damn near terrible.
Not even Law had left him so breathless with such a simple touch. And his face, the alpha cringed to imagine how flustered he was considering how his cheeks heated.
"I don't need another inspirational speech from you-ya," He may have said more, maybe something along the lines of 'never touch me again ' but he was much too flustered to speak, and even if he could.....his wolf would be outraged. No one had ever tamed him so easily, quelling his fears and bringing him back to reality.
He almost liked it...

"That wasn't a speech. That was just truth, me telling you that I'm going to be here for you and I'm going to make it better." Thatcher spoke simply as he stood up, not discouraged though his ego was slightly wounded when the man pulled away so quickly. The redness of the alpha's cheeks boosted his confidence again though. It was quite endearing really, realizing that Eustass was not as much of a hard ass as he seemed. He moved to help the man clean up the mess he'd made, scooping up shards of the broken plate. "I'm sorry though, if I..." He was about to apologize if he'd made the man uncomfortable, but he was already learning about Eustass. He knew that if he said that, the man would snap off, thinking that his being uncomfortable showed weakness. So he changed his wording. "Sorry if I overstepped my boundaries." He nodded.

Eustass was careful not to touch Thatcher as they cleaned his mess, not even allowing their hands to brush.  He was still reeling from what it had been like, how it had taken him completely even without his knowing it.  Thatcher had warmed him to his very core.  The alpha couldn't recall the last time he had felt anything like it.  Maybe he never had.   Trafalgar had been the closest thing to his heart, and even Law had never seized him in such a way. Thatcher was the sun, and if the alpha wasn't cautious he'd find himself burning up under the soldier's warmth.  Even his words had an astounding affect on Eustass. It was strange to think that someone cared for him, so truly that he himself could feel it. 
The alpha had to shake it off.
He couldn't afford to accept this, whatever it was.  When everything was said and done, Thatcher was still a soldier and the man would be leaving him someday, possibly to never return.
Eustass was a strong man but he wasnt certain he could handle another loss, especially not one such as this.  He'd only known Thatcher for a day now, and already the beta was all he could think about.
"Piss on an apology-ya. Just remember next time that I dont need or want you're fucking hands anywhere around me. Im not broken and I don't need anyone trying to damn fix me. Be someone else's hero."  The alpha grunted as though irritated, desperately trying to will away the warmth in his cheeks.  Just looking at Thatcher had his stomach rolling.

This was the first comment from Eustass that had visibly dampened Thatcher's spirit, for once his constant smile disappearing. He only nodded as he helped the man clean up. He was not one to let his feelings be hurt but it never felt good to be told you were not needed. This was how Thatcher dealt with his pain, by helping others. He put his heart and soul into his work and now, he wanted to help Eustass while he was home. He didn't like being called out on this though.
"I wasn't trying to be your hero." He informed softly although even he didn't believe it. He had, because it felt good to be someone's hero. It made him feel like he had purpose.

"H-Hey..."  Eustass nearly reached for the solider then, even though he had just finished barring the man from touching him. It was out of his control.  As an alpha, he immediately felt the hurt that surged through his beta. It was even more than that though.  Eustass was distraught to watch Thatcher's smile diminish before his very eyes and know wholeheartedly that it was all his fault.
The man wanted nothing  other than to help him, and Eustass wouldn't even allow that.
Pathetic.
"Look, you're a hero for a living-ya.  You are everyone's hero because you are a soldier."  The nearly gargantuan werewolf heaved a sigh of remorse for causing this ache in Thatcher, doing his best now to correct it, even if it meant opening up slightly.  
"And because you are a soldier you cannot be a hero to me. Not really.  I have lost enough hero's, and I don't have anymore pieces of myself to risk losing. And besides, i've gotten this far without anyone holding my hand, it would be foolish to open myself up to people again-ya.  No one stays." The last words were said bitterly, Law's face flashing through the alpha's mind.

"Eustass." Thatcher sighed softly, glancing up to meet the man's gaze. He didn't like how immediately Eustass seemed to know what he was feeling. He wondered if he would get good at that too once he got used to this whole wolf thing. "Would you rather take a chance to make yourself happy again and risk losing someone else or just stay miserable for the rest of your life? At least this way there's a chance things get better." His smile was back, though less bright and wide than before. He hated to let things get him down. He wasn't even sure why exactly Eustass's rejection had hit him so hard. Maybe he himself shouldn't be getting so attached so quickly. He tried to convince himself that it was just the wolf in him, striving to appease his alpha.

"I don't need anymore ghosts in my life-ya." Or really he didn't think he could handle it, another person's face to keep him up at night. Another voice he'd yearn for but never get to hear again. To let Thatcher in would be giving the soldier all the power in the world to use over him, or what was left of him. "You think being happy for a little while is worth the risk of ruining my life completely-ya?" The alpha was backing away from his beta as though Thatch was contagious.
And to Eustass, he was. The way the man smiled with all his teeth, the crinkle right at the corners of his eyes and man- those eyes. Eustass found himself all but lost in them each time he gazed at the soldier. And then Thatcher would laugh or reach for him, all these things to make Eustass feel as though he were coming home after a lifetime in hell. He didn't understand. He didn't want to. It was dangerous.
Thatcher was dangerous.
"You're hoping for something that won't happen, kid. When people say I'm an ass they aren't lying. I don't make friends anymore. "

"I know they aren't lying. You are an ass." Thatcher nodded, smirking lightly. "But I also know that you're more than just that. You're not as fucking mean as you'd like everyone to think you are. If there was nothing else to you, I wouldn't be trying so hard to be your friend. But regardless if you want me as a friend or not, you've got me. So you can ignore it if you'd like, but I'll be here if you need me."

"You don't know much about me, brat.  You don't know what you're getting into."  Eustass tried to wave the soldier off with a scowl, but the mans words were still ringing so clearing in his mind.
"I'll be here if you need me."
"We'll see how you hold up-ya."  Thatcher was like the others.  He was determined to help now, but what would he do once he experience some of the worst days? The alpha wasnt sure his beta would be able to handle it.
But he found himself almost wanting to believe the boy, that he'd stay through the hard times.
Tough chance.
"Come on, i'll come you to your room."  Eustass grunted softly, ducking out of the living room to place his mess in the trash before awaiting Thatcher to follow.  "You'll be on the first floor."  He had empty rooms on the second where his was located, but as an alpha Eustass would rather his beta be on the ground in case he ever needed an easy exit.

"Sounds good, my man." Thatcher nodded as he moved to follow the man. It was then that he realized he did not have any of his things with him. Bellamy had just rushed them home so quickly, trying to save his life. They would have to retrieve their belongings eventually. And the rest of his stuff was still at his home, hundreds of miles away from here. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to have anything I can sleep in, huh? These are Bellamy's clothes right now and they're pretty tight. Yours might be a little too big but I can deal."

The alpha grunted as though he were growing irritated with Thatcher,  but truly he merely felt obligated to give the soldier a hard time.  Allowing the soldier to like him would only cause the boy trouble.   It was already so bad that Eustass was considering his beta's feelings before his own.  The last time he'd done such a thing was the day he'd decided it was time to let Law go in order to preserve the doctors happiness.   Of course law couldn't know that,  Eustass still snapped at him whenever given the chance,  plus he was still bitter.  He would always be hateful over the abandonment. He was a bad person and someone so good as Thatch shouldn't waste his time caring for such a monster.
"Damn what a pain in my ass."  It was spoken as a grouchy agreement to the soldiers request, the alpha not so much as glancing back as he lumbered his way up the staircase.  Eustass had built the home with the consideration of a new pack, so it was equipped with several empty rooms.  His room though was even above the second story, accessible by a small drop down ladder.  The room was settled into a V-like frame, with wide windows aligning each wall. There were no visible pictures and hardly anything of personal value. Only his bed sitting under one of the large windows, a nightstand and one dresser across from it all.  He also had a small closet but instead of going there the alpha began digging through his dresser.  Soon he produced a large cotton black shirt and a pair of boxers to match.  They were thrown carelessly over to the soldier without any sort of warning.  
"Satisfied yet-ya?"

Thatcher's smile never fell. In fact, he was even chuckling softly as he caught the clothes, amused by how hard Eustass seemed to be trying to be a prick.
"I'm very satisfied. Thank you." He nodded, letting his eyes trail around the man's room. It was nice but he couldn't help but notice the lack of anything decorating it at all. It made him truly feel for the man, not having any loved ones to have pictures around of. "I might just continue thinking of things that I need though, just because you're cute when you're trying to be pissed off." He chuckled, his smile slightly larger than usual, the small crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes.

Eustass whipped around as the soldier referred to his irritation as 'cute', the shock etched deeply into in face, enough to even have the alpha's jaw slack and his cheeks tinting rapidly.
Silence.
And then the man was sputtering, cursing and bristling as though he were some wild animal and the soldier had poked him with a stick. 
"What in the hell- Who do you?-Son of a fucking-" Eustass was so flustered it was impossible for him to complete a sentence, the heat of embarrassment nearly enough to make his head spin.  Once again in his life, he was completely stunted on what to do. How was he supposed to handle this? No one called him cute! Especially not when he was trying his hardest to be an asshole. 
Unable to do anything else, the alpha ducked out of the room completely. This was a first. He had never ran away from someone in his own home.
Pathetic.

Thatcher was just as shocked at first, not expecting such a violent reaction. But his shock turned into amusement as the blush colored the alphas cheeks.
The big bad wolf was just embarrassed, not knowing how to react to such a compliment. It was fucking adorable. And it definitely had Thatcher interested, wanting to do something else to earn such a reaction.
"Hey, shithead, where did you go?" He was still laughing softly as he exited the room, glancing down the hall to try and see which way the alpha had gone.

"Now you're just fucking with me-ya!"  The embarrassment was evident in the alpha's heated tone.  The man had ducked into one of the rooms just before the staircase, originally to cool down by now, sensing his beta's amusement, he almost wanted to play along.  It was nice to feel again, anything other than uncertainty and resentment. Thatcher truly was the sun, shining down on him with every smile. 
"Two can play at this game."  The alpha muttered under his breath, waiting until Thatcher was in reach before bursting from the room in a attempt to surprise the soldier, even reaching out to trap the man in his strong and iron-like arms. 
"Who's been cornered now, eh?" Eustass had yet to realize, but he was beaming.  It wasnt a small smile or a smirk, but a full and toothy grin. It made his eyes a softer shade of grey, like the clearing sky after rain.

Thatcher had been startled at first, though he only laughed when he realized what had happened. He relaxed in his alpha's arms, turning back to look at him and taken aback by just how wide the man was smiling. It made him smile even wider as well, pleased to see the man playing along with him, letting himself be happy for a second.
"You got me, alpha man." He smirked. "And you're right. I am fucking with you. And I'll continue to do so if it gets me this reaction."

"What reaction-ya? Just who do you think you are, punk?"  Eustass was so close now that their noses were brushing, his breath ghosting over Thatcher's face as he spoke.  In these moments, there was no fear of what could happen between them or any worries that he would look foolish. The soldier was so radiant that he pushed all of those thoughts away, and Eustass was able to conquer those last few inches separating them. When their lips finally met, the alpha was nearly overcome with the jolt of electricity that traveled through him.  The warmth was unbelievable.
The pure feeling of bliss, unrivaled.

Thatcher had not been expecting it. He himself had had the urge to lean in and initiate the kiss himself but he worried about pissing the man off. He was grateful when Eustass did it for him. His strong arms wound tight around the man, one curling at his waist and the other around his shoulders, hand resting at the base of his neck, fingers lightly gripping the fiery red locks.
Sparks ran through his entire body and he couldn't make himself stop, not wanting to lose this feeling. The first kiss he'd ever shared with a man who was not Bellamy. He wondered if this was how kisses were supposed to feel with anyone you were extremely physically attracted to, or if it was just Eustass. He had never felt anything even half this strong before. Eustass's every touch made him feel as if flames were brushing against his skin, though it wasn't painful. Instead it merely filled him with an intense warmth all over. He needed more of it.

The alpha knew in his head that he should never have done this.  All day he had done nothing but snap at the soldier in the hopes of assuring nothing like this could happen between  them.
Oh how it back fired.
It would have worked on anyone else, even Trafalgar.  But Thatcher...He seemed to understand Eustass better than the alpha understood himself.  It was unnerving to the point of driving the werewolf mad, but he could do nothing but channel that feeling into their kiss.  Letting go was not an option, his wolf wouldnt allow it.
"Damn you. Fuck. Damn you."  Eustass could only mutter these profanities in between the meeting of their lips, his grip on the soldier tightening as Thatcher consumed his senses. He didn't want to pull away anymore but slowly the reality of their situation was dawning on the alpha.
Eustass was immediately forcing himself to let go, dropping his beta completely and even shoving Thatcher back against the wall.
"No! Hell no! This will not happen, you hear me? We are not going down that path-ya!" The mans entire face was flustered in a way that matched the scarlet tint of his hair, grey eyes clouded like the sky during a hurricane.  Eustass was struggling with himself at this point, what he truly wanted and what needed to be. 
It only did more to agitate the werewolf, heighten the intensity of his snarl. 
"Get the hell away from me before I fucking hurt you, soldier boy."

"You started it." Thatcher could only mumble halfheartedly as he leaned back against the wall, surprised to find himself weak at the knees. Their kiss had left him breathless, the most intense feeling he'd ever experienced. God, he wanted more. "Why the hell can't we go down that path, huh?" He questioned finally, not backing down from the alpha like anyone else would have. "You kissed me." He reminded the man. "That means you wanted it. And you can't tell me you didn't feel that shit. That was the first time I've ever felt anything like that."

"I know I fucking started it, damn you!"  Eustass was all but roaring now, his cheeks tinted with something more akin to frustration now. Thatcher was right.  He had felt things in that kiss he'd never known possible, it was an addicting feeling, leaving the alpha aching for more.  But that was the very problem.  Eustass was unprepared to love again.  If he were to lose a feeling like that after being able to experience it so fully...He wasnt sure he would be able to continue living.  
"But now im ending it-ya. We cannot go down this path because you cannot be trusted to live. Why did I meet you? Because you were fucking dying!" The man cringed now as he thought back to it.  The time he'd come to know Thatcher had been enough to have him reeling at the memory of what the soldier had looked like with death in his eyes.
"I will not accept anymore grief into my life."  Eustass couldn't so much as look at the soldier anymore, his teeth bared with the intensity of his struggle. To let Thatcher in would be writing himself off completely. The man already had more of a hold on him than Law ever manged.

"Eustass." Thatcher sighed heavily. "I'm stronger now, you turned me. I'm not going to die now. Just let yourself damn live for once. Life isn't worth fucking living if you're this miserable all the time." He folded his arms across his chest, simply staring at the man for a moment before deciding he was taking things into his own hands. "You know what, fuck it. You've been taking control of shit all day, so shut up and let me be in charge for once." He grunted then, switching their position so Eustass was shoved up against the wall as he captured his lips deeply. He had noticed how hard it was for the alpha to pull away the first time, he wanted to remind him how it had felt, that there could be something between them.

The alpha had been preparing himself for an argument, mouth even  opening as though to snap at the soldier for being so bold as to tell him to 'shut up'.  All the words perished though, swallowed up by Thatchers lips.  Eustass's hands were scrambling at the solders back then, the overwhelming surge of sparks that blitzed through out his body too intense for the alpha to hang on to his uncertainty and rage.  He knew that the reasonable thing would be to shove Thatcher off and force some ground rules between them, but every fiber of his being was urging him towards other things.  His wolf was unrelenting, clawing his rib cage and causing his heart to swell until Eustass was unable to do anything but yank the boy closer.  Their kiss was lip bruising now, a flurry of fangs and soft growls as the alpha finally figured out what to do with his hands. One had curled securely at the base of Thatcher neck, while the other had tucked underneath the mans legs to sweep them up and around his waist.  This way he had the control to move Thatch against him as he pleased, lips still relentlessly ravaging the soldier.

Thatcher's lungs were begging for air but still, he refused to pull back from the kiss, his hands finding their way into the man's hair, not even realizing that his claws were out and digging into the alpha's scalp.
He felt his fangs though, drawing blood from Eustass's lips. The fangs were new to him and he had no clue what to do with them. His inexperience was definitely showing, though Thatcher didn't let it stop him, merely pressing closer into the other man. He didn't even mind when Eustass lifted him. He cooperated, wrapping his legs tight around the alpha's waist. He might have minded if it was someone else, even Bellamy, but Eustass was different. It seemed to be natural to let Eustass support him, the man was his alpha after all. He made sure to maintain some dominance of his own though. It seemed like everyone else gave in to Eustass and let him have complete control. But not Thatcher.

"You remember, you asked for this-ya."  Eustass was beyond the point of stopping now.  This was the first real connection he'd felt ever since losing his pack, but it was even more than that.  Thatcher made his head spin and his heart swell.  He could do nothing more than desperately want for the soldier.  It was impossible to control himself.
Thatcher was driving him mad.  The way the boy clumsily fumbled with the claws in his hair, and how his fangs seemed to be everywhere.  This was all new to the soldier, and even though Eustass had already mastered himself, it was completely brand new experience for him as well.  The way he felt when Thatcher touched him...
It made him question how he'd ever felt anything for Trafalgar.  How had he thought that was all there was to enjoy in the world? He was bursting into flames under Thatcher's touch and there was nothing to stop him from burning.
He was carrying the soldier back up to his room then, not listening for any protest even as he slid Thatcher onto his mattress.  The alpha was on top of him again in seconds, hovering carefully as not to hurt him but relentless with the way his was trailing his fangs along the mans neck.  The beta would be black and blue with marks of possession by the time Eustass was done, but still somehow the alpha managed to be gentle, as though he truly cared if Thatcher was pained even the tiniest bit.  He lapped each new wound clean, even brandishing it with a kiss before moving on to the next notch on his way down.