Ajax couldn’t fight the smile tugging at his lips as he watched the boy hovering over him, a look of pure awe on his face.
“See something you like?” He chuckled softly and Venus immediately blushed, embarrassed of the way he had been gawking at Ajax’s naked body.
It had taken long enough for Ajax to be comfortable with this new boy, but now he had finally felt ready, felt like he could completely trust Venus. They’d had several dates where Venus believed they were alone in the apartment, although truly Britt and Sawyer had been waiting just outside the building in case anything went wrong. And Venus had still been his same innocent, adorable self. Ajax had thought he was too good to be true but it seemed that somehow, astonishingly, he had landed the perfect man.
After he was able to trust the boy, they had begun a relationship. Ajax still wanted to take things slow at first, even though by now he had stated he was ready to make love if Venus so desired. Venus though was the nervous one now. So they had decided they could start out slow, just by seeing each other completely nude for the first time.
Venus thought Ajax was completely breathtaking. Literally. He found it quite hard to breathe as he stared down at the gorgeous boy, spread out all for him on the mattress.
“I-I like it all.” He admitted with a shy smile. He felt goosebumps rising all over his bare skin. God, he wanted to touch so badly. But what if he did something wrong?
He was glad Ajax would get to be his first but a part of him also wished he had some prior experience. He should have just hired a prostitute or something. Then he’d know what he was doing, wouldn’t have to look like such an idiot when he had to ask Ajax if he was doing something correctly. And then maybe he would have known what the hell rimming was so he did not ask that night Britt had mentioned it, causing the redhead and Sawyer to laugh until Ajax scolded them.
“You’re not looking too bad yourself, my man.” Ajax gave a soft smile, his eyes trailing up and down the boy’s body. Yeah, he’d definitely hit the jackpot. Venus had the looks of Justin or Ouija without all the cocky attitude that came with it. Ajax had never minded a little of that attitude before, but he had learned that those guys never liked to stick around for long.
“Really?” Venus gave a pleased smile as he moved to lay atop of his boyfriend, resting in between his legs and laying his head on the tattoo artist’s stomach.
“Really. I can’t believe you don’t realize how gorgeous you are, Venus. I’m glad you don’t though. Because if you knew how hot you were, then you’d know you could land a boy way cuter than me.” Ajax smiled lightly, reaching a hand down to card his fingers through the man’s soft chestnut hair.
“There isn’t anyone cuter than you.” Venus spoke simply, moving to press a kiss to the boy’s stomach. He pulled back then, his eyes having caught sight of something odd.
“Whatcha staring at?” Ajax arched an eyebrow, catching the concerned frown on his boyfriend’s face.
“What are these?” Venus questioned, reaching a gentle hand out to brush over the series of horizontal scars on the boy’s inner thighs.
A lump rose in Ajax’s throat but he swallowed it, realizing if there was one person who would not judge him, it was Venus.
“What do they look like, my man?” He gave a bitter, tightlipped smile down at the other man.
“Oh.” Venus simply nodded his head, still running his fingers over the marks. Inside, he was worried, hurting at the thought of his beautiful boyfriend feeling the need to harm himself. But he didn’t want to make the boy feel like he was judging. “Do you still do that?”
“Not since I met you.” Ajax spoke truthfully, earning a wide grin from the man resting in between his legs.
“That’s good… could I kiss them?”
“Kiss them?” Ajax smirked as he raised an eyebrow.
“Yes.” Venus simply nodded as if this was not an odd request.
“I suppose you can.” The tattoo artist chuckled softly.
He laid back then, resting his head on the pillow as he felt Venus’s lips land on his right thigh, pressing kisses there so gentle that they almost tickled. Ajax had always found this to be a very intimate part of the body, one of his sweet spots as well. And he was fairly sure he still had a scar there from Justin’s fangs. The man had never been able to leave his thighs alone. But still, with Venus, it was not at all sexual. It was possibly the most innocent thing Ajax had ever experienced.
“You’re so beautiful.” Venus sighed out finally, lips still lingering on Ajax’s flesh. His eyes though, couldn’t look away from the faded bite scar. He could tell it had been left by another man, a lover. He frowned and Ajax immediately knew what was wrong.
“Hey.” The brunette spoke up, propping himself up on his elbows so he could look at Venus between his legs. “Whatcha looking at?”
Venus said nothing, simply running his fingertips over the scar.
“Are you going to answer me?” Ajax arched an eyebrow, waiting for a response.
“Just looking at this scar… who’s it from?”
“His name was Justin.” His first love.
“He wasn’t the one who hurt you, was he?”
“He hurt me, just in a different way, my man. Not physically. Just gave me my first broken heart.”
There was a small silence then as Venus crawled his way up to the head of the bed, lying beside his boyfriend.
“Tell me about him.”
“He was an arrogant prick who was afraid of commitment. Well I thought he was, but I guess it was just commitment with me. We were just fuck buddies. I thought it was turning into something more until he found someone else and ditched me.”
“Was he… handsome?”
“Not as handsome as you.” Ajax spoke honestly, though he was smiling softly at Venus’s seeming insecurity.
“The scar… did you want him to bite you there?”
“Of course. He might have been a cocky little shit, but he always asked before he did shit like that.” Ajax smirked at the thought of his former friend. They hadn’t talked in months now. They had used to see each other every day.
Venus seemed to frown at the fact that the bite had been an enjoyable thing for Ajax. He was just thinking, conjuring up an image of Justin in his head. The Justin in his head was an Adonis of a man with rippling muscles and smooth pickup lines. He pictured this man in between Ajax’s legs, the soft flesh of the tattoo artist’s thigh beneath his lips, Ajax moaning as he bit down roughly. And then he visibly deflated, realizing he could never in a million years compare with this guy. He would never be that comfortable with being sexual, never be able to make Ajax writhe in pleasure like so many other guys probably had. He would never be that handsome or muscular. He was just Venus. Awkward, stuttering, blushing, Venus. He was more likely to make Ajax laugh than moan.
“Who else?” He spoke up finally.
“Hmm?”
“Who else have you been with? I mean you don’t have to tell me every single guy… I just mean the big ones, the ones you loved.”
“Well you’re asking some hard questions today, huh?” Ajax sighed, though still not truly upset. He paused to think for a moment. “There was Justin, Ouija, Dmitri, Shiloh.”
“What was your favorite thing about each of them?” He was hoping to learn, so that he could have all the best qualities of these men. Except he would be different, he would not break Ajax’s heart.
“Justin… he made me laugh.” He smiled softly. “Like I said, we were fuck buddies. We started out as friends. We’d go to bars and try and pick up guys together. I’d laugh at him when he got rejected. He was just always trying to make me smile.” He paused then, thinking of Ouija. “Ouija was something… He was a little brat. I was his first crush. He made me feel like some sort of goddess. The way he looked at me… it was like I wasn’t real, like he couldn’t believe I was gracing him with my presence. He made me feel beautiful. Then Dmitri… Dmitri was a hopeless romantic. You know the guy in the romance movies who is super perfect and thoughtful and hot and sentimental? And you always want to marry him but then you remind yourself that no guy like that really exists? Well that was Dmitri. The only problem was he was in love with someone else, not me. I hated listening to him talk about his love for the other person, but I loved his romantic side, hearing how sweet and in love he was. And then Shiloh…” He took a deep breath then and Venus knew, reaching out to squeeze his hand. He just knew that this was the one who had hurt him.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to talk.”
“No. I can answer your question.” Ajax spoke firmly. He was done letting Shiloh affect him. “Shiloh… I guess he just made me feel wanted. After I was everyone else’s second choice it was nice to think that someone finally wanted me so much that they took me and made me their own. I know it wasn’t healthy but at the time… I was broken and desperate.”
There was a long silence where all Venus did was press kisses to Ajax’s cheek, trying to comfort him in his own awkward way. Then finally he spoke again.
“And what about me?” He murmured quietly.
“What about you?”
“Your favorite thing about me.” Venus clarified.
“Oh.” Ajax nodded, thinking this over for a few minutes before he realized just what it was. “Venus… my favorite thing about you is that you’re all of those things. You make me laugh, you make me feel beautiful, you’re thoughtful and romantic, and you make me feel wanted again. And on top of all of that, you’re here with me, trying to comfort me and learn more about me. I can’t pick a favorite thing because you’re the whole package, my man.”
Venus could only listen to the boy’s words before a wide grin split across his face. He realized that not once had Ajax mentioned sex with any of his former lovers. Maybe that wasn’t as important as Venus had thought it was. He was beginning to realize that maybe Ajax wouldn’t laugh at him, even if he messed up. Ajax just wanted to spend time with him, he didn’t care what they were doing. Sure, the boy might have had better in bed but Venus was realizing maybe that didn’t matter so much. Ajax had already told him he was the whole package.
And then before he could stop himself, the boy had taken Ajax’s face in his hands and taken control, kissing him deeply.
“I love you.” It was whispered between soft, gentle kisses, Venus’s hands moving to caress lovingly down the tattoo artist’s sides. It was all he could do not to grin into the kiss when he felt Ajax responding, legs wrapping around his boyfriend’s waist. “I’m ready.” Venus murmured then.
Because he was ready.
He was ready for intimacy, he was ready to let Ajax see him in such a vulnerable way, ready to risk embarrassment.
He was ready to start their future together.
