This is shorter than I planned but I couldn't think of more to add for now and I wanted to post something for you. Feel better <3
Andy wore a toothy grin as Cove straddled him. He adored this view, just getting to see the scotsman’s entire body on top of him like this.
“We don’t have all day here Carter. You gonna screw me or are you just gonna sit there?”
“Oh ah’ll screw ya alright.” Cove growled softly, about to make his move when Andy’s phone rang. “Don’t ya dare answer that.” He groaned.
Normally, Andy would have gladly ignored it. But something told him to answer it, especially when he looked over and saw it was the nearby hospital calling him.
“Sorry, babe. Just one second.” Andy reassured, leaning over to grab his phone, bringing it to his ear as he answered.
A moment later and he was panicking, gently nudging Cove off of him in order to grab his prosthetic leg from the ground, hurriedly putting it on so he could get dressed.
“Is everythin’ alright, love?” Cove questioned.
“Morgan’s in the hospital. I gotta go. I’m sorry babe.” He pressed a soft kiss to his lover’s forehead before stumbling to get dressed, then making his way out of the room altogether.
It was one of his worst fears realized. Morgan had overdosed. He could be dying. Andy was grateful that he was the man’s emergency contact although he should have known this. He was the closest thing to family Morgan had. He didn’t know what he’d do if he wasn’t called in time. What if Morgan died and he just got the call later, letting him know it was too late?
He was driving twenty miles over the speed limit, trying to concentrate on the road instead of panicking and thinking of his best friend and first love.
He was in the hospital demanding to be taken to Morgan’s room only fifteen minutes after he’d received the call.
“Thank god.” He could have cried when he saw Morgan conscious, lying on the bed looking more ashamed than Andy had ever seen him. It made his stomach ache but he was just so incredibly relieved that the man was alive.
“Hey dandy. Funny seeing you here.” Morgan smiled tiredly before letting his eyes flick up to the ceiling. For the first time since they’d met, he didn’t want to see Andy. Well, he truly did. But he didn’t want to have to face him like this.
Especially because Anderson knew that he knew exactly how much he could take of any drug available to him. So if he had overdosed, that meant…
“Did you do this on purpose, Morgan?” Andy spoke simply, his voice more firm than he thought it would be. He had to know if Morgan had tried to kill himself. Because if the man had, then the responsibility was completely on him. He was all Morgan had. It was his job to keep him happy and alive.
“Define on purpose.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I…” Morgan sighed, running a hand through his hair and grumbling when he inadvertently tugged on the IV in his hand. “Did I plan to try and kill myself? No. Did I realize I was taking too much but not give a shit and do it anyways? Yeah.”
“Fuck, Morgan.” Andy could feel tears welling in his eyes but he willed them away. He had to be Morgan’s rock.
“Yeah, I know.”
“If you… did it kind of on purpose, then who called 911 for you?” He questioned. He would have to thank them.
“I did.” Morgan averted his gaze once more.
“Why if you were trying to… you know?”
“I…” Morgan’s voice cracked and Andy’s heart clenched tightly. He never saw the man show any weakness or vulnerability. But he was clearly in a bad place tonight. He’d nearly ended his life. “I got scared.” He admitted softly. “I thought I wanted it but I started… kind of seizing. And it got really fucking scary. And I thought about never seeing you again and I picked up the phone.”
“Morgan, I’m sorry. I should have been with you. I’m-”
He was cut off by Morgan growling softly.
“No, damnit. Andy, you shouldn’t have to fucking babysit me. I’m a grown man. You have a boyfriend. You have more important things to worry about and I know that. I was just… alone tonight.” He stopped then, sighing heavily. “You know I fucking hate being alone. I know I have to just fucking deal with it but I was jealous and I was thinking about… shit and I just wanted to end it.” There was a pause before he spoke up again. “You know I always thought suicide was a coward’s way out. But I learned tonight, that shit takes balls. I’m too much of a coward to go through with it even though I wish I could.”
“Don’t say shit like that, Morgan. I wouldn’t know what to do if you did go through with it. I was so fucking scared when I got that call.”
“I’m sorry.” Morgan sighed. “I forgot I had you as my emergency contact. I didn’t even want you to know. And I’m sorry I interrupted your night with Cove.” The bitter tone in his voice that he was trying to conceal was still obvious.
“Hey.” Andy snapped. “Cove can wait, alright? If there’s ever an emergency or you’re just feeling lonely, I want to be the first one you call. I’ll drop everything, Morgan. You’re important to me. Don’t think you’re being replaced.”
There was a long silence before Morgan finally opened his eyes, smiling softly.
“I should have fucking married you.”
The words caught Anderson off guard.
“I should have. You were the only thing I ever did right. We started out so good. But then I fucked that up too. I wish I’d been selfish though and begged you to stay with me. I thought about proposing you know. But I told myself it was stupid because we hadn’t been together that long. I wish I fucking did it now though. Would have been the smartest decision I ever made.”
“Morgan.” Anderson could only sigh then, finally just caving and leaning in to hug the man tightly. “Please don’t die on me, okay? Fight and stay alive for me, even when you’re depressed.”
“Only for you, babe.” Morgan smiled tiredly, leaning to press his lips to Andy’s cheek.
