I love you and im sorry i've been shit at posting. I really am working on it though >< My brain is just shit lately. I dont know where to start. But I had this thing saved up, and while I was trying to inspire myself to post I managed to finish it for you. So I hope you enjoy<3333333333
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As he stepped in through the dilapidated church and saw the trail of spattered blood leading down the isle, Bellamy suddenly thought about daisies. It was morbid given how he was following a constant map of blood up towards the gloriously lit alter. Despite the wreckage of the room and the roofing beams that had fallen to perish pews, the alter alone had been spared of ruble. Instead it was glowing, shining with light that filtered in through the holes made by enemy fire. The scene tugged upon the soldier's heart strings, and again he thought about those flowers. Once upon a time, when he'd first fallen in love, Bellamy stood in a flowershop contemplating what would bring the brightest smile to Vitaly's face.
Thatcher, his best friend, partner and shadow had mentioned offhandedly that his favorites were daisies.
Bellamy bought his lover sunflowers that day, but after that a year never passed without Thatcher receiving daisies whenever it was a special occasion or he simply needed something to brighten his mood.
Bellamy had no daisy's on him now, and the soldier felt unbelievably bare without them.
Hours ago during a surprise attack, when enemy fire was raining down on them like a raging storm, Bellamy had lost sight of Thatcher.
The man hadn't been seen or heard of since.
The area had been closed off due to the attack until backup would be able to deem it secure, but Bellamy had gone out despite strict orders from their superiors. With ease the man had traveled back to the place he'd last glimpsed his friend, finding with horror that the area there was washed in the blood of his comrades, so much that it was impossible it all originated from one body.
Or so Bellamy prayed.
He'd tracked the blood here, to this church leading to a forgotten alter.
The soldier took a steadying breath, and trudged forward.
He found Thatcher hunched just behind the podium, leaning heavily against the wooden structure for support. The fallen trooper was heaving strained and ragged breaths, gazing with eyes half-lidded and dull through the stained glass windows to the brightening horizon.
His army greens had tinged black as Thatcher bleed into them, the cloth frayed and opened at his abdomen in holes small enough to have only been inflicted by gunshot. The blood had stopped in a pool beneath the man, so much that Bellamy was made dizzy with panic.
The soldier's breath had caught in his throat along with the helpless whine that would have escaped him at the sight. It took Thatcher what felt like an eternity to finally notice him standing there, only a few feet away. Dying eyes slowly lighting on his blood spattered boots, and in his disoriented confusion the man mistook Bellamy for an enemy and raised his weapon, ready and all willing to pull the trigger, except he was too weak now to even manage the action. Having jerked upon noticing he wasn't alone had taken the last waning tendrils of his strength.
It was relief when his blurrying vision cleared enough to reveal Bellamy's blue eyes.
"Bell, you found me."
Thatcher's voice was weak in a way that left Bellamy feeling physically drained by the hurt of hearing his friend so broken.
And he had no daisies to make it better.
"I've told you before, Thatch. I'll always come for you." Bellamy placed his gun on the floor, his movements sluggish now with grief as he took in the constant tremble of his friends shoulders. "I've gotta bring you home. We go together, remember?" They were due for leave in only a week. Bellamy had never left for service and come home alone. He always had Thatcher at his side, a constant comfort despite all else.
"Im sorry brother, but I don't think i'll be making that trip with you this time." Thatcher wheezed the words gravely, eyes glassy as he pictures Eustass waiting on him to come home, imagines the alpha's face when Bellamy's shows up instead to deliver a set of blood spattered dog tags.
The man smiled for his friend though, if only to hide a pained grimace. "We both know how this ends."
The words were like a verbal whipping, leaving deep lashes to throb against Bellamy's chest. And they had been spoken with such finality, as though Thatcher was accepting that he would die here.
"Don't say stupid shit like that Thatch, I can't stand it right now. I gotta get you up, get you home before-before-"
"Before what, Bell?" Thatcher was waning by the second, but Bellamy's words had spurred some last surge of strength. "Before I bleed out and die? Because I hate to break it to you, but we're passed that." He had to make peace with his friend. He couldn't leave Bellamy with such a broken expression contorting his handsome features. Thatcher had come to love his smile. He didn't ever want it to disappear.
"You just...You just gotta hold me now, okay?"
It wasn't okay.
"I can't do that, Thatch." Bellamy spoke the words quietly, but with an outpour of passion derived from his despair. "I get that you've accepted fate and maybe you see a white light that you like but god, please let me help you. I have to get you home. Don't you want to see Eustass again-"
Thatcher hissed at the words, recoiling against the podium in a vain attempt to escape the agonizing rage that swelled inside of him as Bellamy mentioned Eustass.
"Don't you fucking dare. Don't you dare use him to try and give me hope, dammit! There is no fucking hope, and im struggling like hell to accept that while I have the time, Bell! Im stranded here and I can feel our bond breaking because Im- im fading. But its still tethered just enough for me to feel that Eustass is driving himself fucking insane right now because he can feel it, too. He knows something is wrong but he wont know what until its all too fucking late! Im dying and Eustass can feel it. He's half a word away and he knows, and yet he's alone and so am I."
Didn't Bellamy understand that the hardest part of this was leaving that damned redhead he loved so desperately? Didn't he know that Thatcher was writhing in pain not because of his life draining wounds, but because he knew Eustass would never recover from this. The man would spend the rest of his life in despair. He'd probably drink and take his rage out upon the furniture, maybe burn their bed in the yard outside where he'd later anguish over what he'd done. No one would fill the cabinets or make sure the man was taking care of himself.
There would be no one remind him that he wasn't a monster.
"You're not alone, Thatch....This still isn't okay, but we can make the most of it. Just....You're not alone, I've got you." Bellamy finally reached for his friends outstretched hand, fingers clasping tight and secure in an act of comfort. He would be losing a part of himself along with Thatcher. The man was his home when they were deployed, the only thing he'd had to fall back on after Britt and Morgan broke his heart. There had been days when Thatcher was the galaxy, and now it felt as though stars were falling from the sky. The waning soldier was leaning into his touch then, body feeling suddenly so heavy despite how quickly the blood was leaving him. With trembling hands Bellamy moved him forward just enough to settle into the space between his back and the podium, a position that left him able to fully cradle Thatcher against his chest.
"C'mon, Bell. I know these are bad times but can't you cheer up a little? Give me one of those Captain America smiles?" With how they were seated, Thatcher wouldn't be able to see any expressions flashing across Bellamy's fine features but god, he could imagine each and every one just as vivid as actually seeing it. He knew what happiness sounded like in the man's voice, and was now becoming more familiar with the ring of heartbreak.
"I love you." The words were whispered into golden hair, matted and tinged red with drying blood. It smelled of fire and steel, gun powder and the faint metallic twinge of blood. "You're my other half and I love you, Thatch."
The soldier responded with a sound not unlike a whimper.
"My entire family adores you. They ask about you all the time, miss you when you're staying with Eustass." Bellamy's heart lurched as he mentioned the alpha, realizing only now how much the man had obviously loved Thatcher. Bellamy had caught an unbridled number of stolen glances and chaste kisses, green eyes following Thatch no matter where he went. Even despite their strange relationship as the two most important people in Thatch's life, the alpha would call whenever he felt Thatcher was lonely through their bond. He'd ask for Bellamy to take care of him-
Bellamy failed.
And it was useless telling the soldier things he already knew, but he needed Thatcher to hear it, how much he was cherished. Maybe Thatcher had needed it, too. Now he was squirming against his friends embrace, shoulders jerking with the force of swallowed down sobs. Bellamy couldn't stop though, if he did then he'd be forced to face the reality that was breathing down his neck. He'd have to accept that this was a losing battle-
And he couldn't do that, at least not yet. God, he wanted to avoid it as long as possible.
"I love your stupid hair buns and how you hold my hand whenever we hit turbulence in the air. You're the only one who knows about my ridiculous acrophobia. I uh- I love that you smile even in the shittiest of situations. It always calms me down and hell, I even love your snoring at night. It lulls me to sleep...." All the love Bellamy had built over the years culminated into this moment, these passionate spouts of adoration. They gushed from his lips, riding rushed on frantic breaths. He held Thatcher tighter, and felt the soldiers body trembling with heavy gasps. Thatch was crying, face contorted in unbridled anguish as he strained to draw air into searing lungs. Everytime he coughed a wetness rattled in his chest, blood dribbling down his chin a clear indication that he was urgently bleeding out. Bellamy moved a fumbling hand to wipe tears from Thatcher's cheeks, but he found none. The mans face was cold and dry. It dawned on Bellamy then that perhaps Thatcher had spent all his tears long ago, in silence without witness as he grieved and accepted his fate.
Quivering fingers moved to Thatcher's jaw instead, cradling and comforting. The diminished soldier let out a short, quiet sigh of acceptance and leaned into the touch, rapidly growing limp in Bellamy's arms. To distract himself, the blonde desperately tried to focus on the feel of sharp edges beneath his fingertips. He found himself missing a time when the slopes were more curved and forgiving, rounded slightly by an ever present smile. Those had been the gentler days, when they were home and Thatcher still had something to smile about, his body whole and aglow with happiness. He'd been safe then.
It gutted Bellamy to think of that now, as he watched the life slowly draining from Thatcher's face. In a desperate attempt to feel closer to the man he nuzzled deeper into blonde hair, closing his eyes so tight it hurt because fuck-
This could be their last few moments together and he wasnt ready. He would never be ready.
Bellamy was branding everything to memory, the scent and texture, how Thatcher's body felt still warm and fluttering in his arms. He could feel his heart thudding against the harsh of Thatch's spine, the man's withering frame heavy and pressing and alive, still breathing in rhythm against him. Bellamy had to remember everything.
And he had to hurry.
Hurry.
Thatcher's breath was slowing.
"Its okay Thatch, you can go now." The words were painful on his tongue, but Bellamy ground them out anyways. "Sleep. I'll take care of Eustass for you. I love you. We all love you. Just know that okay? You are so loved, Thatcher..." Bellamy's voice echoed throughout the church, his breath now the only one still rattling. A chilled hand was on his, pale if not for the vivid streaks of blood coating trembling fingers.
"My Bell," The man rasped his exhaustion, last remnants of tears welling in his dying blue gaze. "Love you...love..." He may have been going to send some words back for Eustass, but they never left the mans lips. Thatcher's hand gave one last waning squeeze, and then stilled in Bellamy's grasp.
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The remaining soldier sat until his limbs began to tingle under dead weight, until he'd screamed his throat raw and cried himself dehydrated.
And then he got up, carefully and tenderly resting Thatcher's head against his army issued jacket, once again nearly brought to his knees when the mans head rolled lifelessly to the side.
His eyes were still open-
Bellamy wasn't able to close them before losing his soul to the sight. The soldier swaddled his partner like a newborn before finally tearing himself away to venture outside, only returning once he'd gathered a thick bouquet of wild daisey's, the one's he'd so desperately wished for on his way inside the church. Carefully, with words of tenderness till aching in his mouth, Bellamy settled back to gather Thatcher against his chest. He voided the thoughts of how cold and stiff the man had become in the short time he'd been gone. Bellamy caressed his face with sweet scented flowers flowers, tenderly wiping away blood and grime with the silky petals. He held on until a recovery team arrived to pry thatcher from his still clutching fingers. The soldier was left alone then, nothing but his gun and a blood coated chain of dog tags with his friends name etched into the metal.
