Oleander was left fighting the urge to follow Nikita into the bathroom, tipsy and fidgeting because his body was so warm and he didn't know why.
Maybe he'd gotten a fever, brought on by Nikita's breath against his neck.
Or maybe he was just all hot and bothered because Nikita was finally looking at him, touching and wanting in a way that sparked hope.
Oleander grew up idolizing Nikita as though he were a god, constantly following him around and seeking his approval. He wasn't sure when his innocent love became something more. It could have been his thirteenth birthday when Nikita took him out to make up for Thatcher's being gone. Or the night they stayed up late to watch the moon eclipse, leaning against each other with silent understanding as day broke the horizon. He didn't know when it happened, only aware of the change after he'd accidentally walked in on Nikita being intimate with one of the girls from fight club. No one noticed him there peaking in through the doorway, and he never mentioned how he'd scrambled home with sickness in his gut, spending the night shocked and aching for reasons he didn't fully understand. Jealousy had taken root in his heart, searing each time he called to hear that Nikita couldn't hang out; he had a date, or whenever he was staying the night and Oleander was subject to watch him dress, rambling on about his flavor of the week while shrugging out of his leather jacket. Ollie had bought him that Jacket for his twenty-first birthday. It was several months worth of waiters pay and tips, including a generous donation from Eustass after he'd still come up short.
Nikita had worn the leather jacket tonight, not for some stranger or a hot encounter, but this time for Oleander.
The thought brought with it a crooked grin, warming his heart in ways the alcohol hadn't. It is what finally urged the boy forward, his every step strong with confidence. Something had changed between them tonight, all he had to do now was make it official. It seemed easy with the alcohol streaming through his veins.
Had he been sober he would have realized that it was a mistake to assume Nikita liked him in such a way because he'd worn the jacket, or even because they had danced and touched. It was his birthday after all.
He wasn't sober.
He was going for it.
Nikita was leaning against the sink when Ollie rounded the corner into the bathroom. Had he not been so determined, Ollie may have made a teasing comment about how long he'd been gone , but as it was the boy swallowed his words back at the sight of his Russian.
Tall, dark, and beautiful beyond compare.
Fuck, he was stunning in ways that left Ollie weak in the knees. Oleander had worked up a long speech in his mind, years worth of every longing thought and details of his adoration. And still, none of it was enough though when finally faced with those daunting amber eyes. The feelings were there, welling in his chest and threatening to spill over if he didn't act on them. Ollie had no words though, nothing that would even come close to explaining. The boy was left with one course of action.
Lurching forward, he captured Nikita's lips in a sloppy but meaningful kiss. His first.
He was met with no resistance, Nikita was steady and opening to the firm press of Ollie's lips. The kiss lasted until their lungs ached for breath, and still it ended too soon for Oleanders liking. He was reaching for Nikita's hand as they pulled back, fingers threatening to brush-
Oleander's hand stopped short, startled into stillness as he noticed the shift in Nikita's expression. What had been a soft curving smile of surrender had quickly thinned into a tight-lipped frown. His gaze was heavy, and Ollie knew that he was working up the words to turn him down.
He knew what Nikita wanted. They had never needed words, their friendship was built on years of silent understanding. It was written in the subtle furrow in the Russian's brow, how his shoulders had tensed with the rejection. Ollie didn't want to hear it though
When he finally spoke, not even the alcohol softened how utterly foolish he sounded.
"Don't." Oleander's expression had fallen into a blank unnerving stare. The embarrassment left a sick ache in his stomach, and if he were to acknowledge it here in front of Nikita the humiliation would tip the scale and he'd undoubtedly break on the spot. He couldn't afford to add anymore disappointment to this day. He hoped for the alcohol to call back his confidence but it seemed Nikita's rejection had been completely sobering. What had been searing heat pulsating through his veins had numbed to a now sloshing ice.
Oleander turned abruptly, suddenly aware that all the hurt he hoped to hide had began stinging his eyes. The boy blinked them away carefully, already starting for the door when he felt Nikita reach for him. Ollie turned just in time to catch the Russian's hand, holding it in too-tight fingers before slowly dropping it off to the side.
"I said shut up."
Nikita hadn't spoken, but it was clear he'd been working up to it. Oleander was demanding he let it go, but the Russian could not bear this to be the end of their night, Ollie's birthday.
They stood silent as Nikita struggled to work up some magic word that would defuse the situation. He sounded strained as he tried to force out a casual beginning, still grappling for something that would return Oleander's smile and ease this new found tension in their relationship.
"No, you said 'don't'".
The boys blank stare only hardened, his only response threatening to twist Nikita's heart right out of his chest. The Russian opened his mouth once, twice, but he never had the chance to speak.
As if knowing the heat in his words would not be enough to silence the rejection Oleander moved a hand in a sharp upward curve, fingers falling heavily across Nikita's lips to physically stop the words from sounding.
"You know what I meant." When Nikita reached to curl loose fingers around Ollie's wrist the boy only pressed harder, his palm firm against Nikky's mouth. "Now we are going to call my father and he is going to take you home. We will not speak of this. By tomorrow we will forget it ever happened. Tell me you understand." He left no room for Nikita to argue, waiting only until he'd received a hesitant nod before dropping his hand away and making for the door, pulling away completely as he went.
Nikita was left alone to compose himself, a heavy ache settling in his chest as he realized this problem may never go away. Oleander had made him promise to forget, but how was he going to do that after he'd felt the soft weight of Ollie's mouth against his lips. And the way Oleander had looked at him-
That beautiful face was never meant to twist so violently or stare so blank.
By the time Nikita finally emerged from the bathroom Oleander was waiting by the bar, having stayed to collect him before meeting Eustass who'd already pulled up in the parking lot. The alpha seemed proud they'd chosen to call him instead of driving back intoxicated, even taking a moment to gratefully clasp Nikita on the shoulder as he slid in upfront. Oleander had regulated himself to the back, an unusual act for him but Eusass passed it off as the alcohol, not understanding that Ollie had a reason to elude them.
The alpha started home, unaware that there had been an abrupt change in plans. Oleander corrected him though, his voice steady but toneless as he directed Eustass to take Nikita back by his place.
"Why, something happen?" They both knew the alpha wouldn't simply accept the change, knowing as well as they did that on a normal night Nikita would have gone back to stay at their home and share Oleander's room. Silence stretched on as the alpha waited for an answer, his curious gaze shifting to Nikita who could only blink back at him. Just before Eustass had the chance to further press his question Oleander was cutting in.
"He forgot that he promised Boyd he'd help him study for his exams tomorrow. I've had such a good time tonight I decided I'd let him slide." Lies were second nature to Oleander. He'd been lying about his affection for years, making up easy excuses as to why his gaze always seemed to linger on Nikita, safe reasons to explain his love of the Russian's company.
"Maybe some other night then. At lest he made sure you got your club experience. I'm glad you two had fun tonight, because it'll be another few years before I let you go again." Eustass wore a satisfied smile, warmed by the knowledge that Nikita had taken the time to make sure Oleander got to have the birthday he'd wanted. The rest of the ride was uneventful, Eustass making an effort to talk fight club and sports with Nikita while Oleander kept his silence in the back seat.
Nikita stalled for time when Eustass finally parked in his drive way, knowing it was time to go but aching at the prospect of Oleander spending the night angry at him. The Russian twisted in his seat as though to speak, but soft unexpected words met the man when he faced Oleander.
"Thank you for tonight."
It was more than that though. It was appreciation for all the years Nikita had put up with him despite having a life of his own, for at least trying to find a way to turn him down easy. Most of all though Oleander was thanking him for not pulling out of the kiss. It was clear now Nikita hadn't wanted it, but he'd allowed Oleander to have it regardless. Ollie had gotten to enjoy his first kiss, no matter that he'd been rejected in the end.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
Oleander was dismissing him, Nikita realized with heavy hurt. He understood that the boy was giving him a way out, completely convinced it was what he wanted. But the words were still a cold ache in his bones. Ollie had always complained whenever they were made to part, never letting go until the last moment, even if they were fighting.
"Yeah, tomorrow." Nikita got out while avoiding Eustass's careful gaze, knowing that the alpha was already aware that something was wrong. He'd wanted to say more, But Oleander still wore that same blank stare and it was too much of a cold shock for Nikita to face him. They pulled away only moments later, leaving the young Russian with his prayers for a better tomorrow.
