Stay Close

"No."  The artist spoke sharply, his amber eyes burning into Shiloh's waves of blue. "No.  Just no." He couldn't comprehend what was happening, even though in his mind he knew exactly what was going on.
His heart wouldnt accept it though.
He couldn't be alone again.  Not after this.  
Ajax would not be this person.
"You do not get to kidnap me and bring me here for your enjoyment and then throw me out on my ass whenever im not convenient for you anymore.  Im a fucking person, Shiloh. Im not your damned play toy that you get to pick up and put down whenever you please. You wanted me here and im here.  Fuck you if you want me to leave now that you've gotten everything you wanted out of me."
Shiloh had gotten to dehumanize him, just for the sake of making himself feel better.
How was he supposed to go back after what he'd lived through here?
He was tarnished goods.  He had some how managed to fall in love with his rapist and that is shameful.  He had forgotten what it was like to see the sun or wear clothes.
The artist couldnt remember what it felt like to work on a tattoo...
That had been his passion.
"I'll die before I let the world see what you have made of me."

"Ajax, stop. You can't do this, okay? I know, I'm a monster for what I did to you. But I need you to go home now. We're done, I'm setting you free. It's over. And if I have to drag you to the car and into your apartment myself, I will. But I'd rather you go willingly. I love you, Ajax, you know that. But you know our relationship isn't healthy. You should hate me, not love me." Shiloh sighed, resting his lips against the boy's forehead when he finished.

"Oh you don't fucking know love.  Don't speak to me about love!" Ajax bit down on the inside of his cheek in a vain attempt to stop the constant sting gathering in his eyes. He had cried that first night, all night.
But never again.
Afterwards the artist had decided to suck it up.  He could handle it.  He was better than some little fool who became a victim.
But this....Shiloh was dumping him.
Another person was abandoning him for better things.
A person he loved.
"You don't know love. If you loved Sitka you would have left me that moment to go after him! You would have never picked my ass up because hey, that mother fucker was pissed to see you with me! And you don't love me.  You just wanted to fuck me and have me talk to you and understand you and fucking love you and your stupid ass smile and that dumb fucking gorgeous blonde hair. You wanted someone to hold you.  And now you just decide you dont need it anymore, dont need me anymore. Thats not love.  You are a fucking monster, Shiloh."  Ajax cursed softly as he felt the warmth creeping down his cheeks, his arm coming to angrily scrub over his face in an attempt to get rid of the wetness. 
"You are a fucking monster!  Not for how you tried to fix your demons but for your complete disregard for me and my life and...And my love."
No one ever wanted his love. They wanted his body and his skilled hands.
But never his love.
Why was he never enough?
"You don't get to pick me up and trap me here, fuck me until you feel better, make me fall in love and then dump me off somewhere. You can't just make me love you and then leave...You can't be one of them, Shiloh."  Ajax reached for the mans hands in desperation, fumbling as he attempted to intertwine their fingers. "Please don't be one of them....Everyone leaves...Please stay."
He had never begged for anything in his life. 
Until now.
Until Shiloh ruined him.

"Don't tell me I don't love Sitka. And don't tell me I don't love you either." Shiloh's voice was trembling now as well. "A-And you don't get to fucking tell me I'm a monster now after you swore to me I wasn't." Ajax had finally convinced him it was true, he wasn't a monster after all.
But now the boy was saying it. Just like Sitka had. And it hurt just as much.
"Well I'm fixing it now, Ajax. I'm not going to be a monster anymore because I'm taking you home and I'm going to find Sitka and he's going to forgive me and everything's going to be fine. I'm not going to be a monster anymore, I'm going to get better. But in order to do that, you have to go home first. I have to fix this before I can fix everything else."

Ajax hung his head then as Shiloh's words struck him, his heart aching with guilt despite all the hurt he harbored.  "Im sorry, my man....I was wrong to call you a monster. I...Im just hurting.  Im hurt and I want to hate you and I want to believe you are a monster because then it should be easier to leave, right?  I-It shouldn't feel like my insides are caving in like this." The boy carefully pressed one of his palms against his heart, almost afraid that his chest would cave in under the touch. "So taking me home now is going to make you better....whatever."  The boy couldnt bare to look at Shiloh, especially not when he felt as though his heart was falling into his stomach and his shoulders were trembling in such a way.  "I wont stay if im not wanted.  Get me my fucking clothes."

"No, you weren't wrong. That's why it hurts so bad." Shiloh admitted, shaking his head as he gathered the boy's clothes and handed them over. "Trust me, if I could have you both, I would. I'm going to miss you, Ajax. So much." He wished there were a way he could have Ajax and Sitka, but that simply wasn't an option.

"Oh blow it out your ass, my man. I don't want you to miss me.  You're giving me up like everyone else. You're one of them."  Ajax had yet to look up at the hunter, his movements jerky with exhaustion as he tugged his clothes on. How was this happening to him?  When did this become his life?
He wasn't even enough to satisfy his captor, a man who had gone out of his way to trap him in here.
And now it was over, just like that.
"I can't believe I fucking poured my heart out to you. You've made me into one of those weak ass bastards that I hate.  I fucking begged you..."  The artist finished dressing himself, nothing but his tattered jeans and sweatshirt, just as the night Shiloh had taken him.
"I want to hate you, and one day I will.  Just know that, okay?  I loved you and I took care of you and I lost my life completely because of it. I hope it keeps you awake at night." The boy exhaled slowly, his knees trembling as he made his way to the door.  He didnt need a ride.  Ajax simply wanted to leave now and forget Shiloh even existed.

"I hope you do hate me one day. I deserve it. I'm sorry for making you love me, really." Shiloh sighed softly, watching the boy head towards the door. "I can drive you if you want me to." He had planned on it but the boy seemed to want to go on his own.

Britt was of course worried about his friend's absence. But he was so hopeful that maybe Ajax had just met someone, someone good for him. Lord knew that when he was with Bellamy or when he and Sawyer had first gotten together, he was never home. He knew how it felt to be lovestruck and he hoped Ajax had found that for himself finally.
But in the boy's absence, he and Sawyer had definitely been taking advantage of the empty apartment.

"I don't want anything more to do with you.  Just stay the hell away from me."  Ajax had promised himself he wouldnt look back, but despite the boys best efforts he found himself glancing over his shoulder.
It would be his last time seeing Shiloh, after all.  Ajax wanted to savor it being he truly had grown to love the man.
"Good luck with Sitka."
With that, the artist exited the home leaving the door to shut softly behind him.
Ajax walked for as long as his wobbling legs would carry him, occasionally having to sit down and calm himself before going on.  It was hard to swallow, being thrown out by someone he'd loved so dearly.
It was shameful to love him.
What was he going to tell Britt about this?  He'd gotten drugged and kidnapped, raped and kept captive until he'd eventually lost all sense of right and wrong to the point that he had managed to develop feelings for this man?
That would just sound cheeky.
Fucking shameful.
The artist almost considered not bothering to go back.  It would be easier to just get lost in the woods somewhere, in the hopes that no one would ever find him. 
But he was Ajax Anastas, the strongest of the Greeks.
He had no right to give up.
Or at least thats what he had been telling himself until he'd finally made it back home to his apartment, but when he opened the door he was met with the sight of Sawyer and Britt on the couch, completely bare and obviously connected.
The artist was so overwhelmed that he found himself quickly shutting the door back, his legs failing him under the exhaustion of knowing that while he had been missing his best friend and only family, the one person he'd thought might be affected by this wasn't even slightly concerned.  By the looks of it, all his attention had been on Sawyer and the way the werewolf was snapping his hips. 
Britt was enjoying the free time they had together in his absence.
It made Ajax's heart ache.
Wasnt there anyone out there who wanted him around?

"Whoa!" Britt was immediately shoving at his lover's chest at seeing the door open and shut. He had seen his best friend out there. "AJ!" He cried out, bounding over to the door in all his naked glory and tugging Ajax inside. "Where the hell have you been? I've been damn calling you! I was worried!" He was about to beam and ask if Ajax had really met someone but he noticed the boy didn't look too happy at all. "A-are you okay AJ? Babe? You don't look so good." He was scanning the boy over then, looking for any harm on him. The only thing he could see were scars still left on his wrist from struggling against the handcuffs that first night. It made his stomach sink.

For a while Ajax merely stared at Britt, his heart constricting painfully as he tried to figure out what he could possibly say to the boy.  Nothing felt right, nothing fit.
So instead the artist merely leaned forward to drop his head against Britt's shoulders, hands moving around to clutch desperately at his friend. 
"I'm not okay this time, Britt."  The boy spoke wobbly, struggling to hide his tears by pressing his face against the crook of the redheads neck. "And I don't think things will ever be okay again."

"Well that's not true, babe. We're going to fix things. You know they always get better." Britt cooed softly, attempting not to panic as he led his friend inside, leading him straight into the bedroom. He only paused to slip into his boxer shorts. Sawyer could wait. "Okay normally I would let you not talk if you didn't want to but I'm really worried so I need you to tell me you're not hurt physically. What do I need to do? Will watching Mean Girls and eating ice cream help or is this too serious for that?" Britt was speaking a bit faster than usual in his worry as he laid Ajax down in the bed, curling up beside him.

"It feels physical but its not."  All of his injuries had began attempting to heal by now.  His jaw still cracked occasionally, and his wrists would always be tender.  But as for the rest of it Ajax was certain that he was fine.  After those first few days Shiloh had been quite the gentleman.  "And the most shitty thing about it is that there's nothing you can do this time. I don't want to watch mean girls, and I dont want ice cream.....I just dont want anything anymore."  
If anything, Ajax wished he could just disappear.

"I gotta know what happened so I can help babe." Britt spoke gently, stroking his fingers through the boy's hair. "You know I can fix it, I always do, remember?" He was practically cooing as he wrapped his best friend up in his arms. "God, I'm sorry. I should have looked for you earlier. I just... I hoped you found someone who made you happy finally."

"You....You didn't even look for me?"  Ajax could only blink at the redhead, his heart nearly shattering before he remember Shiloh mentioning a text message he'd sent. 
But how long had he been gone? How long had that one text message soothed his best friend.  It felt like it had been years.  
"I uhm...I met a guy at the shop one night and I went home with him because he was really cute and he seemed like a gentleman. At first I had thought I found someone to make me happy too."  The boy swallowed thickly in thought of those first few days.  How desperate and betrayed he'd felt.  
How used.
That feeling had only doubled now that Shiloh had thrown him out after finishing with him.  
"But he drugged me that night, and when I woke up he had me tied down.  Said he needed me to make himself better for someone else."  Ajax found himself unconsciously rubbing at his wrists, unable to hold Britt's gaze as the shame overwhelmed him.  "But after that he was kinder.  Told me that he had been raped by some pack of wolves and held in a basement for nine days.  I...I sympathized with him because I understood what it was like.  He says I could never understand really though so I guess that basement was terrible.  Anyways I kinda started loving him.  He was really sweet to me.  But he had some fight with the guy he had taken me for.  Threw me out this morning because he was finished with me."

"Oh God, AJ, I'm so fucking sorry." Britt cursed himself softly. He was truly the worst friend ever. How had he not looked for his best friend for almost a fucking month? "I know I'm the shittiest friend ever and you deserve much better, babe. But I guess... I guess he sent me the text then." He felt the need to explain himself somehow even though he knew there was no excuse for what he'd done. "You said not to expect you home any time soon and you put a little winking face so I thought I knew what that meant and I was so excited for you. I thought you met some guy. But like a week later, maybe, was when I started to get worried at first. But even then, I didn't think something like that happened... I thought maybe you were hurt, got in a car accident or some shit. So I kept calling, waiting for you to answer. And then I think someone accidentally answered it one day. Or maybe he did it on purpose to calm me, hell, I don't know now. But I heard you moan. It was only like a few seconds before he hung up but I heard it and I know I'm shitty now but at the moment it was enough to calm me and I was hoping maybe you really found a decent guy this time. I know how first real loves are, you don't think of anybody else. Like you know when I was with Bellamy at first, I was never home. I was always with him because no one else could compare. I was so stupid, AJ, I thought it was that. Like maybe you didn't have time for me because you were so in love. Hell, as far as I knew you could have met some billionaire who flew you off to some other country in his private jet. I was just assuming you were fine. But you weren't and I should have known... I'm so sorry." Britt was never one for apologies but it was clear he was sincere this time, eyes glistening with tears as he spoke rapidly, trying to explain what had happened. "I'm sorry he hurt you and I'm sorry I didn't stop him." He could only imagine how his best friend felt.

"Did Uh.....Did anyone else bother looking or?"  Ajax wasn't sure why it mattered so much to him now, but after hearing how unconcerned his best friend had been the boy couldnt help but wonder.  If his Brittany wouldnt look for him then no one would.
Almost a month he had been missing...
It wouldnt have been a big deal if he'd never come home after all.
"You know what?  It doent matter.  Im fine."  
He had just been dumped by his rapist.
And he was completely fine.
"And you dont need to be sorry because you are not the dumb fuck that went home with him. I should have been more careful.  And he should rot in hell."

"Xavier called a few times but... I-I told him you were fine. God, I'm so fucking stupid." Britt cursed himself softly. "I was just really hopeful you were having a good time.. I didn't want anything to ruin it. And you weren't stupid, you know how many random guys I've gone home with? Any of them could have been a fucking rapist. I just got lucky and you weren't this time, babe. But you're right, he should rot in fucking hell." As Britt spoke this last sentence, he could clearly be seen thinking of a plan. Nothing could make this right again, take back what the man had done to his AJ, but at least he could have the satisfaction of knowing that he'd never hurt him again.
He gently took the boy's sweatshirt before yelling into the other room.
"Sawyer! Come in here!"
He was wondering if the man could still catch the scent of Ajax's captor.

"Holy thit, do you ever thut up?"  Sawyer could be heard grumbling as he lumbered into the doorway, still gloriously bare and obviously irritated that they had been interrupted earlier. "Thawyer come here, Thawyer go there, Thawyer thop touching me im trying to thleep.  Do you want my blood, too?"  Despite his grouchiness the werewolf was clearly teasing his mate, a soft smirk twisting his features as he approached the bed.   The boy was still coming down from his sexual high, so he had not sensed how stressed his lover was.  Normally Sawyer caught that immediately, but this time the young werewolf hadnt noticed until he was close enough to see the tears lining Britt's bright blue eyes.
"Woah, what in the fuck ith wrong with you?  Why are you crying?"  Sawyer was immediately crawling into the bed, his arms strong as the came to tuck Britt against his chest.  "I wath only joking, you know that right? I juth wanted you to thmile, dammit."

"I'll be fine, I just need you to do me a favor." Britt shook his head, roughly wiping away tears as he moved to pull Ajax back into his embrace. He shoved the sweatshirt at Sawyer then. "Can you do your wolf magic and catch a scent on this? I want you to find the bastard who's scent is on that and I want you to fucking kill him, okay?"
Normally he wouldn't have let it be known that he trusted Sawyer as his own personal bodyguard, but this was important. And Sawyer was the muscle in this relationship.

"W-What?"  Sawyer was so startled by his mates tears that at first the boys words had gone over him, but then the werewolf realized just what Britt was asking of him.  "You want me to go and kill a guy?  How come?" The wolf was reaching to catch his lovers hands, pinning them in the boys lap so that he could carefully wipe Britt's face clean. It stuck him to see the wetness their, the distress shining in his mates eyes.  It didn't really matter what this man had done.  It had made his Brittany cry and that was a crime punishable by death in Sawyer's eyes. "Juth tell me you aren't phythically hurt. I wont leave until I make thure that you are fine." 
Ajax was shaking his head as the two of them spoke, his fingers coming to clutch desperately at Britt's shoulders to gain the boys attention. 
"He isn't going anywhere, Britt.  I don't want Shiloh hurt....He's just...He is really fucked up and its just better if we leave it alone.  Im home now.  He didnt kill me and he was even....I love him, Britt.  You can't send a werewolf after him.  You just can't." Ajax wouldnt be able to sleep at night if he knew that he was the reason for Shiloh being hurt, especially by another werewolf.  After his time spent in the basement, Ajax knew that the mere sight of a wolf would devastate the hunter.

"Fuck that guy, Ajax. I know he fucking brainwashed you and I wish I could have found you before that happened but he doesn't deserve your sympathy. He doesn't deserve your love, baby. He's a fucking prick who deserves to rot in hell, I don't care what kind of shit he went through. I want him to die at the hands of another wolf because that's what he fucking deserves for the shit he did to you." Britt spoke to Ajax first, his voice gentle even though the words were not. "I'm fine, Sawyer. It's my AJ that's not." He didn't know if Ajax would want Sawyer knowing all the details, so he wouldn't say anything. "The fucker deserves to die is all you need to know." He paused then, taking a breath to calm himself as he realized that he shouldn't be putting this on his lover. "You don't have to kill the bastard... just fucking hurt him, okay? Make sure he knows never to hurt anyone again."

"Oh hell no, it'th too late for that now Brittany.  Thith mother fucker hath made you cry, and you've already handed him over tho hith ath ith mine now."  Sawyer was already making his way back into the living room to collect his clothing, muscles tense with anger as he thought of this stranger.  Who was he to come out of no where and make Britt cry?  The young werewolf didnt care that the man hadnt done anything to them directly, no matter what it was, if it had been enough to put a tremble in his mates lip then Sawyer was determined to score his revenge. 
"Britt, please don't let him go!"  Ajax insisted once more, the boys heart lodging itself into his throat as he noticed Sawyer was already putting on his belt. "I don't want this.  You don't want this."  He was afraid for Shiloh being Sawyer was a full blooded werewolf, but he also knew that the man was a trained hunter.
And he had sworn to never fall prey to a wolf again.

"Ajax." Britt spoke firmly, taking the boy's face in his hands gently but firmly. "You don't love him. Ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? He fucking brainwashed you and we're going to fix it, okay? First we're going to take care of him and then we're going to help you, baby. I'm going to make it all okay, you just have to trust me."
He was unaware that Shiloh was a hunter. If he'd known, no way in hell would he send Sawyer off to the man's home alone.
"Sawyer, I changed my damn mind, don't kill the bastard or your eyes will change." He reminded his lover, remembering once when Bane had mentioned how most hunters would let wolves go unless their eyes were blue. He did not need that target on Sawyer's back.

"Who giveth a damn? Mom and dad both have blue eyeth and they are thill living it large."  It took the young werewolf a moment to realize what Britt had on his mind, and while the boy was confident that he could handle himself, It was still precious to know his mate was thinking of him.  "But whatever, i'll juth rough the bathard up until im thatithfied that he'th cried enough to make up for me having to damn wipe tearth off of your fathe."  Sawyer acted like a bad ass for the most part, but the boy was always tender when it came to Britt.  Even when fighting with his lover, Sawyer would never leave until they had made up. "I'll be back in no time, and I expect you to make up the thex I mithed out on becauthe of thith."  The werewolf was smirking now as he returned to the bedroom, sweeping down to land a passionate kiss against Britt's lips.  "Thee you thoon, Brittany."  
And with that the boy disappeared, leaving Ajax to gape and gasp after him.  The artist was so overwhelmed with panic that he couldnt seem to make his lips stop trembling long enough for him to warn his friend of what he was sending Sawyer off to.
"Oh Britt, baby I told you no. This is bad."  The boy finally stammered out, reaching to desperately pull his friend against his chest. "Shiloh is going to hurt him! Shiloh is trained to hurt him I think.  H-He said that he had worked to make it so another wolf could never harm him again. His lover is a hunter and he taught Shiloh." 
It was already too late though.  Sawyer had made it to the mans home by now, and what met him there definitely had not been what he was expecting.