Don't Wake Me Up

"Dude no!" Elvis shook his head, weakly pushing at Izzy's chest only to hiss as he strained his arms. "Don't be nice to me, yeah. I mean no, yeah. Uh." He blinked as though confused by his own words. "Izzy? Oh yeah." He reached up, touching the mans face as if seeing him for the first time. "Sorry, I thought I was still walking." His eyes were blood shot, dark circles beneath them. His body trembled and jerked against Azazel as the man held him. "I didn't mean to come here...where am I again? Your really hot." The boy laughed senselessly.

"Elvis... what happened?" Izzy sighed, his heart aching as he brought Elvis in the door and sat him on the couch, sitting down beside him. "You were doing so well..."

"Nah." Elvis had a glint of realization in his eye as he remembered Xavier again. "F*cking Xavier made a good damn point earlier. You know, I never understood why he was so quick to dump me. He never tried to help. I never understood but I sure as hell do now." He swayed in his spot, falling over onto Izzy with a groan. "He said once an addict always an addict. Theres no hope for me." He was smiling even as tears welled in his eyes. "That hurt worse than him going on about how perfect his life was now. With Prentiss. I was never good enough for him, yeah." There was silence in which Elvis dosed off. Moments later though he was jolting back awake, burying himself further into Izzy. "I think my face is melting, yeah."

"Of course there's hope. Elvis, come on, there's always hope." Izzy sat the boy upright, taking his face into his hands. "What's that shit you always say..." He racked his brain for the line he was looking for. "You can do this, it just takes some faith, trust, and pixie dust." He smiled hopefully at the boy.

The boy gave a hollow laugh, his eyes unfocused and glazed. "Faith and trust my ass. Pixie dust might as well refer to angel dust, yeah." Elvis pulled himself up and on top of Izzy. "Hey, tell me more about your list?" He was unbalanced, having to hold Azazel's shoulders to keep himself up.

"You lay down, we'll talk about my list tomorrow." Izzy frowned, taking the boy by the waist to hold him steady.

"No. Tell me about it, yeah." Elvis reached a hand up, feeling tried blood around his nose. "Awh sh*t, wait a sec. Is that blood? Tell me its not blood. Dude im tripping!" His eyes widened, his body shaking harder as his heart jumped. "Oh god man." His eyes rolled around in his head before settling on Izzy again. "Do you not want me on your list? Im not good enough for your list yeah." He forgot things so quickly, his mind skipping about at random, driven on by the toxins in his body.

"We're not talking about my damned list." Izzy sighed. "Calm down..." It killed him to see the boy like this, all he wanted to do was hold him...

"I want to talk about it!" Elvis pressed himself forward, lips latching onto the mans neck. His hands were flat against Izzy's chest, pleading with the man to let him have this.

"Elvis..." Izzy sighed softly. "Don't do this." He shook his head. Of course he wanted it, but he didn't want the boy to regret anything in the morning. He wanted Elvis to want him, but only when he had full control of his actions.

"But I want this, yeah! I want my name there so you wont forget me, please? I want to know what its like to kiss you, touch you. I love you and I just need you right now..." His head dropped forward as he spoke, his body threatening to fall as Elvis lost consciousness. It was only for a short time, his head was back up and he was shaking again in no time. "I should probably go, yeah. Im not feeling so hot." He hoped he hadn't over done it. He felt...wrong.
And he didn't want Izzy having to deal with his sh*t.
"Please don't think of me like Xavier." He was fumbling for the mans hands now. "I-I...." His eyes were welling with tears again, his lips quivering as he tried to remember how to speak. "I don 't want to be a lost cause. I don't want you to look at me like he does, please..."

"Oh Elvis..." Izzy pressed the boy close to him. "Just calm down, darling. I promise, I promise I won't forget you, baby. You don't have to sleep with me." Izzy sighed, stroking his hair. "I'll never look at you like he does, I swear.."

"You will though, everyone will." The boy groaned as though in pain, rubbing hatefully at his arms. "You should have heard him. Im always going to be this way, yeah. You'll only remember what a f*ck up I am, coming to your house and being like this." He twisted away from Izzy covering his eyes with his hands. "The sun is so bright..." Of course it wasnt the sun though, just the living room light. He almost hoped he was shaking so badly because he had taken to much, almost hoped he would die.
But he would hate to do it on Azazel's floor. Damn right he would be remembered if he did that. "Have sex with me, please." A pause, Elvis's eyes clenched shut as his body ached. "I asked nicely, yeah."

"Elvis..." Izzy sighed softly, kissing the boy's cheek. "I can't have sex with you, not tonight." He shook his head. "If you still want to in a few days, when you're feeling better, the answer would be of course. But I can't take advantage of you, Elvis. No matter how much I would love to have sex with you."

"You wont be taking advantage, yeah. You'll be making me feel better." Elvis grit his teeth as the light continued to pound his head. "Can we turn that off, yeah?" He rolled onto his back on the floor, staring up at Izzy as though he werent even there.

"Of course." Izzy sighed, standing to turn off all the lights in the room, lighting a candle and sitting it on the coffee table in front of the couch so he could still see. "And it is taking advantage when you're high." He spoke as he sat back down.

"Its not." Elvis threw his shirt off, weakly climbing back onto the couch and falling into Izzy once there. "I don't feel right, yeah." He mumbled into the mans stomach, his head resting in Izzy's lap.

"Well that's probably because you're high." Izzy sighed, stroking the boy's hair. "Just rest, okay? You want to sleep in my bed?"

"With you! I want to sleep in your bed with you, yeah." He pressed his face to the crook of Izzy's neck, sprinkling sloppy kisses anywhere he could reach without being bothered to move.

"We can sleep in the bed together, but we're just sleeping." Izzy couldn't help but smile as he stood, lifting Elvis in one arm and bringing the candle he'd lit in the other hand so he could turn out the lights upstairs as well. When they got to his bedroom, he did this, setting the candle on the bedside table and Elvis in the bed before curling up beside him.

Elvis was clambering on top of him only seconds later, his breath washing over Izzy's face as he hovered above the man. "Hey Izzy, don't get mad. You don't have to say it back, but I really do love you, yeah. Im sorry for this, for tonight." He meant his arms that were swollen and throbbing. "And im just just high...well I am trashed but I know that wanting to sleep with you isnt just a drug thing. Its an Elvis thing. I just want to feel close to you, yeah."

"Okay, Elvis." Izzy smiled softly, hugging the boy to his chest. It was all he said, all he could bring himself to say. "Get some sleep." He sighed. "We'll talk in the morning, okay?"

"Okay, yeah." Elvis fell asleep on top of izzy, his head resting above the mans heart. When he remembers what all he did tonight, he will be horrified, but for the moment he was comfortable in Azazel's arms.

Izzy stayed awake for quite a while, stroking Elvis's back and just watching him sleep, making sure he was okay and didn't overdose. He felt something for Elvis, he knew. He tried to tell himself it was the kind of lust he felt for people he slept with, mixed with the type of love you felt for family and friends, the kind that he believed in. But he wasn't so sure anymore.

Elvis jolted awake every now and then, the drugs working to stop him from getting rest. He would watch Izzy's face, listen to him breathing.
He would feel safe.
And in time he would find his way back to sleep.