Alone Together

"I don't get a say?" Jordan found himself trembling with anger and he was tempted to leave before he hurt someone. But he refused to leave until this child was safe. Next thing he knew, he found his hand wrapped around Chandler's throat, shoving him back against the wall and holding him there as he could hold the shift back no longer. "Then you know what, Chandler? How about you do what the fuck I say for once? If you wouldn't give me a say, then I'm fucking taking away yours."

There was a moment of silence in which Chandler simply dangled there, eyes wide and terrified, remembering how close to death the hands around his throat had brought him. The panic surging through him was almost suffocating, driving him to do more and not be man handled here. "What you gonna do, you f*cking big bad f*cker?" Chandler spat in his lovers face, hand moving to grasp one of Jordan's wrists as he began swinging with the other. He felt helpless and it drove him to fight back harder. "Your not taking shit from me! I'll kill the little bitch!" Chandler was certain he didn't want it now, with Jordan willing to fight him for it. The coyote was all he had...He wasn't going to share, not even with their child.

"You don't want to know what the fuck I could do." Jordan snarled and the sound of his own growling voice snapped him out of his rage. He was losing it again, he could feel it. The full moon was still about a week away but he hadn't been this angry in quite some time. He loosened his grip on Chandler's throat, instead moving to pin the man's hands above his head. "I'm asking you one more fucking time, Chandler. Please. Keep it. For me." He let out long, slow breaths, trying to keep himself from going over the edge though he wasn't sure he could do it for long.

"Go.F*ck.Yourself." Chandler's eyes bore into those of his lover, almost hateful at the prospect of being forced into having a child. He wasn't sure how to handle it anymore, more afraid of Jordan than he cared to admit. But he wasn't going to let the coyote over rule him, not when the child was in his body. "You don't get to call the f*cking shots! What in the hell is your damn problem Jordan?" The mind reader tried wrenching his hands away. "Its not even here and your already being a son of a bitch! Im not having it and I'll f*cking suffocate you in your sleep if you dont let me the fuck go!"

Jordan let go of his lover, his shoulders trembling once more with anger and with tears he was holding back.
"Just go to hell Chandler. Get the fuck away from me." He wasn't sure if he was about to blow up in anger or simply bawl but either way, he turned away from Chandler, heading towards Roman with his arms outstretched in a sort of surrender. "I need you to take me to Jesse's and lock me up in the bunker." He murmured, his fangs clenched tightly as he forced himself to keep calm.

"You're not f*cking going anywhere!" Chandler reached out, fingers closing on one of Jordan's hands. "You can't back me into a damn wall and walk off!" He wasn't sure why he needed Jordan to stay, only moments before he had been hating the coyote but....Maybe it was the tears he could hear in the boys voice, or maybe he was still just so scared he couldnt stand to be alone. Either way his hold on Jordan's hand was so tight his fingers ached. "Mother f*cker, you gotta understand I didn't ask for this sh*t! You damn know this..." Chandler was too proud to be a mother, it made him feel weak and he detested it with every fiber of his being.

"I know but neither did I!" Jordan exclaimed. "And you didn't even fucking stop and think about it, Chandler. I just thought my feelings mattered more than that to you. You just didn't even consider it, didn't consider how the hell it made me feel that you were so disgusted to be carrying my child." He hated crying, being it was something he had never had to deal with in his animal form. It made him feel weak, but it couldn't be helped right now.

"Wha? Its not anyfuckingthing like that!"  Chandler reached up, cupping Jordan's face in his still too cold hands. "Having a baby with you isnt disgusting or some shit like that! Im just....Jordan you know I shouldn't be trusted with a damn child! And for me to be the one carrying it....I feel....Its degrading." The man spoke with a tremble between clenched teeth. "Now every f*cking body is going to know I let you stick it to me." Pride had always been one of Chandlers greatest downfalls. "And for f*cks sake, I wasn't trying to just disregard you! We can talk about this shit! But I was panicking! Im an asshole! Okay? Im an ass and your an ass and im sorry so don't cry tenderfoot." His thumbs swiped under the coyote's eyes, a tender kiss falling to the boys lips.

Jordan clutched Chandler tight to him as he lengthened the kiss. Finally, he pulled back, glancing into the man's eyes, his own still an icy blue.
"I love you. And I'm sorry for scaring you like I did." He sighed, a clawed hand moving to caress Chandler's cheek. "I just... I got scared too and I got angry and I was trying anything I could to make you just stop and listen..." He paused once more before nodding. "We can talk about it."

"Pshhh, you didn't f*cking scare me tenderfoot, you're a pansy." Chandler forced a smile for the coyote, pressing one more kiss to the boys neck before stepping back. "Love you too, asshat." He wanted to leave though, get away from Roman and Zach.
His stomach sank as he realized the two had witnessed everything, and for a moment he thought he was going to be sick. "Im getting the hell outta here."

"We can go back to my place and talk?" Technically, his place was still a room in Jesse's home, but the man left them alone so it was better than nothing. He moved over to Roman, almost giving the man another hug to thank him but realizing that wouldn't be the best move in front of Chandler. "Thank you." He gave the beta a smile and a handshake instead before grabbing Chandler's wrist.

Chandler was quiet the entire way back to Jordan's room, falling onto the coyote's bed upon entering.  "Thank you...For not hugging that mother f*cker."  He had been reading Jordan's thoughts, knew the boy had wanted to hug Roman but thought better of it, for him.

"You're welcome." Jordan smiled lightly. "I know it pisses you off but you know, he's more like a dad to me now. Being around wolves like him, it makes me feel more at home, that's it." He reassured before his eyes drifted to Chandler's stomach, ears straining to hear a heartbeat. "Now, about this brat..."

Chandler groaned at the mention of the child, hands pressing over his stomach as though that would make it go away. "Yeah, about this damn brat. You want to keep the bitch, don't you?" He already knew, he had been inside Jordan's head. But that still made it no easier to accept.

"No." Jordan shook his head. "I don't want it, I know I'm not ready for it. But I can't let it go. It's not fair that it should suffer because I was too stupid to use a condom. And I'm sorry, Chandler. I really am. I'd switch places with you in a heartbeat if I could." He leaned into the man, nuzzling his neck.

"So what the hell are you saying? We should have it and give it to someone?" Chandler was already skeptical of this, knowing in nine months when the child actually came Jordan would have a hard time letting go. His lover was tender in that way. But if that was what Jordan wanted... He couldnt very well say no.

"I don't even know what I'm saying." Jordan groaned softly, running a hand through his long brunette hair. "I mean.. I know you don't want it at all. But if you were to have it, what would you want to do?"

"It wouldn't be good for me to have a fucking kid Jordan, you can damn see that. And you havent been out of the woods for long. What would we do with a kid?" He was almost tempted to offer it to Zach, except then Roman would have a hand in raising it and Chandler couldnt have that.

"I know." Jordan sighed, nodding in agreement. "But I don't know if I... could give it up, you know? I don't think I could just let it go. I'm already kind of... excited." He admitted.

"Yeah, I already f*cking knew that. Especially after the little bastard has been around for nine months, your going yo want to keep it and im going to have to damn let you..." They would just be stuck with a kid, no other way around it. "Oh f*cking well...I guess its damn settled then."

"I don't want you to hate me for this or some shit." Jordan sighed, curling up close to his lover. "I'll treat you like a king these next nine months, trust me. Anything you want, you've got it." He nodded firmly.

"I wont ever hate you Jordan, and you're the only damn person I can say that about." Jordan was his reason for being. "And I don't want any special f*cking treatment, just for you not to throw my ass over for this kid." No one had ever loved him like Jordan loved him, and the thought of losing that scared the boy shitless.

"I wouldn't ever do that to you Chandler. I couldn't." Jordan kissed the man's cheek softly. "And I'm terrified about this, but I know we can do it. Because we're the two strongest people I know." He grinned, stroking the man's hair.

"Bullshit, you were ready to kill me over wanting to kill it." The mind reader grunted, his cold hands finding Jordan's. "I hope your f*cking right though." If this had to happen he wanted it to work, for his Tenderfoot. "How the hell did you find out I was like this anyways?"

"You smelled... off. Like you were sick. But I couldn't place the scent so I went out to Roman's this morning to talk to him about it, that's where I was." He admitted. "I asked if I brought you over if he could tell what it was and he told me you're pregnant." He smiled gently at the man, squeezing his hands to spread his warmth.