Lovesick

Jordan woke in bed next to Chandler with his head throbbing. He assumed it was from where he'd hit his head off of the wall while making love the previous night. But after a moment, as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he realized there was no pain to go with the pounding noise in his head. It still took him another moment to realize the sound was a heartbeat.
"Chandler!" He cried out in excitement, shaking his sleeping lover because his naivety had not allowed him to realize the sound was not coming from the chest of the man beside him.
He pressed his ear to Chandler's chest and learned that the heartbeat coming from Chandler did not coincide with the one already thudding in his ears. He was quite slow on all the realizations today; it took him another several seconds to sit back down on his side of the mattress, his face falling as he realized the thing the two of them had been fearing for several years now had finally happened.

"What!? What? Are you okay? " Chandler sat up abruptly, his eyes flying open at the excitement in his lovers voice. The look on the boys face putting him on edge immediately, leaving him with a hollow feeling in his chest. "Tenderfoot?" Chandler had to take a moment to gather himself before reaching out and allowing his fingertips to firmly grasp Jordan's chin, forcing the coyote to look at him. He searched the boys mind, all air leaving him when he found what he was looking for. His body lurched forward, his head falling into Jordan's chest. "Oh no." The man whispered, his voice a raw and broken thing. He'd been afraid of this for years now. Had nightmares about it. Dreaded it. He'd even worked out a plan for what he would do if it happened, but now he couldn't remember any of that shit. His entire world was collapsing around him. He was so desperate he began pinching himself, so hard in some spots he threatened to draw blood, but no matter how hard he pinched, he still wouldn't wake up and oh fuck, this couldn't be happening.

"S-stop that." Jordan found his voice trembling as he shook his head furiously, reaching out to take Chandler's hands in his own. He looked the man in the eyes, head still shaking as he spoke. "Pretend you didn't hear that okay? Don't look in my damn head, ignore it, alright? I-I'll ignore it. It's that simple. Nothing changed. Just stop hurting yourself. We're fine. I'm not going anywhere." He continued to speak, though his voice was trailing off as if he was reassuring himself more than Chandler. "I'm not going anywhere." He reassured once more.

"Oh Jordan, don't spout that shit!" Chandler pulled back, his eyes wild in his distress."I know how you fucking werewolves are with your mates! I can't fucking hold you back, I wont!" How could he? No matter how selfish he wanted to be, Jordan was the sun and he deserved to shine. "You wont be happy if you don't go. I can't let you be unhappy."  He couldn't breath, the words were leaving him no matter how badly he wanted to shut his mouth and just let Jordan stay.

"I can't be happy without you." Jordan's voice lowered now, nearly a whimper as he took Chandler's face in his hands, bringing it in to his for a gentle kiss. "Chandler, I'm not leaving. I won't." Dallas lived just fine now without Vince, he could do it. For Chandler, he had to.

Chandler cursed softly, suddenly aware of how cold his hands were without Jordan. "You're making this so much harder than it has to be, tenderfoot."  He croaked the boys name like it was broken. "Just bail now. Don't wait until you're so miserable with me that you have to leave." Chandler read over the boys thoughts, even as he spoke, knowing Jordan wouldn't say everything that was on his mind, although he might as well. "You saw how defeated Dallas was?  He was a drunk. He was bitter. I will not allow you to be like that, I mean, holy shit."  The mind reader shook his head furiously.

"But he's fine now that he found someone else to love. A-and I've already got someone to love. I've got you Chandler and I'm not damn letting you go." Of course it was his instinct to go, he was already itching to find out who it was. But that was his animal part. His human side did not want to leave Chandler's side. "Y-you'll get cold." Jordan murmured as he realized he was crying.

"Tenderfoot,"  Chandler swallowed hard, reaching up to cup the boys face in his hands.  His thumbs gently wiped the tears away, his breath shaky when he spoke. "I wont deny that you are fucking right. Im going to be cold. But even if you stay...I couldn't live with myself knowing I was keeping you from being truly happy." He pressed his lips to the boys forehead, biting the inside of his lip in an attempt to keep his own tears at bay.  Who else would be kissing his tenderfoot?  Would they do it right? "Just, shhhh, I promise you will be okay." Chandler wrapped the coyote up tightly in his arms, rocking the boy gently.

"I don't want them." Jordan shook his head once more. "I don't care who the hell they are, they're not my soulmate. You are. I don't fucking want them." He got progressively angrier as he spoke until finally he went silent, hanging his head. A few minutes later, he looked back up and spoke again. "You've got to stay warm, okay?" Jordan swallowed hard. "Find someone to keep you warm..."

Chandler could have puked as the boy told him to stay warm, but he immediately began nodding his head, hoping his bangs would obscure his face, keep Jordan from seeing the tears filling his eyes.  He had been trying to hard to keep it together for Jordan, but now it was like he was staring down the barrel of a gun and he was choking up. "I-I will, I promise I will..."  His hands trembled as he pressed them into his face, feeling foolish for thinking he knew what true pain had left like. He had thought it had hurt to lose Zach to Roman. Hah. He hadn't known what the hell he was talking about. This, here, now, this was pure unadulterated fucking hell. Knowing that Jordan was about to leave him to go love another was gutting him like a pig. There was so much he needed to tell this person on how to care for his tenderfoot...
But oh fuck, he didn't think he could handle laying eyes on the lucky bastard.

"Chandler I-I don't think I can go." Jordan swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he looked into the man's teary eyes. How the hell was he supposed to walk away from the man he'd called home for the past few years? Chandler had been his first love, first everything, how could he just leave him behind because some stranger was calling to him? He didn't know if he could do it. "I don't know how to just walk away."

"Oh fuck." Chandler clenched his eyes shut, sucking in a deep breath. "Let me show you, tenderfoot." The man took Jordan's face in his hands, capturing his lips in one last kiss.  He couldn't leave without one, even knowing it would be easier if he did.  But no, Chandler lingered on Jordan's lips even longer than necessary, whispering his love before standing and curtly turning on his heel.  The mind reader made it to the door way, pausing there but never looking back, knowing if he did he wouldn't be able to go. "When you leave to go find them, i'll gather my things." Chandler swallowed hard, voice nearly failing him. "Goodbye, Jordan." 
And with that, he was gone, stumbling off a blubbering mess in the direction of Zach's home.

When Chandler had gone, Jordan felt like there was a large hole in his chest. It had been there for many years after he had ran off into the woods and been on his own. Meeting Chandler had filled it and now it was there again and he wished more than anything that it wasn't. He wished he could fall back asleep and wake up with Chandler at his side like nothing had happened.
But he couldn't.
And so, after merely sitting there for a half hour holding himself, he forced himself to his feet. He didn't know how to go about this mate thing. He figured he would follow the heartbeat, see who it was but not barge in on them and then go to Roman, like usual.
However, as he began to follow the sound of his mate, he found that it was leading him towards Zach and Roman's house anyways. So it was someone they knew.
He knocked on the door and waited, finding that he was holding his breath he was so nervous.

Trever had been over visiting Zach when Chandler burst through the home, blubbering about how his lover had left him because he'd heard his mate. So while Zach was occupied with his former apprentice,the man had made him comfortable at the home and found himself answering the door while Zach and Roman were busy with the devastated mind reader. 
"Hey there kid. Now's kind of, uh, a bad time." Trever smiled down at Jordan, not quite registering who the boy was. "Chandler's having a bitch fit in there right now."

"Chandler is here?" Jordan questioned, cursing softly before realizing how loud the heartbeat was with this man right in front of him. He was pretty sure that was Trever, he'd seen him several times before and heard Chandler talking about him. Chandler despised the man and just because Chandler did, Jordan had always as well.
This was his mate?
He found himself unable to speak properly, almost breathless at seeing the man he was supposed to be with for the rest of his life.
"I..." He blinked, knowing he couldn't come in with Chandler there, couldn't cause him more pain. But he also couldn't leave. He needed Roman.

"You? What? Cat got your tongue?" Trever was laughing at the boy when Roman caught his scent.  The large wolf was at the door in seconds, roughly shoving Trever side. "Fuck off Murdock, leave the kid alone." The man snapped, obviously on edge after having Chandler burst into his home in such distress. "Jordan? Are you okay? Whats going on?" Roman took the coyote into his arms, unsettled by the tears streaking the boys face.

"I guess Chandler told you. I heard my mate this morning." Jordan found himself able to speak from the comfort of Roman's arms even as his chest ached. He couldn't help but glance back to Trever. The man was insane from what he'd heard. Not to mention already married with children. This couldn't be right but yet, Jordan did have the urge to move nearer to him. "Roman, it's him." It was a gentle whisper, only meant for Roman to hear as he jerked his head in Trever's direction.

Roman glanced over to Trever, his eyebrows furrowing as the news settled on him. "Are you sure Jordan? Don't make any mistake."  If so, they could have some real problems.  Chandler was going to fall to pieces.  Trever had Toni and several children, but thank God none of them small. The large wolf found himself stroking Jordan's hair, cringing as he heard another one of Chandler's wails from inside.

"I'm sure, I mean... I don't know how I could make a mistake." Jordan frowned, concentrating as if to doublecheck that it was Trever's heartbeat in his ears. He felt his stomach lurch with pain and guilt as he heard Chandler's wails. "Fuck, Roman, isn't there anyway to stop it?" He grimaced, pressing his head into the man's chest.

The large man could only heave a sigh, pressing Jordan tighter into his chest. "Im sorry, but there's nothing you can do.  Being away from your mate is a death sentence, really. And im sure with time Chandler will be okay."  Roman kept his voice soft and even, making sure Jordan had a steady shoulder to lean on. "So being there is no stopping it, we should try to talk to Trever."  Roman himself didn't like Trever, but he would stomach the man for Jordan.

Jordan could only sigh, standing upright and wiping tears from his eyes.
"I guess I should." He nodded, turning to glance at the man once more. He took a deep breath before taking a step towards him. "So you're Trever?" He spoke up, waiting to feel the type of completion everyone had always talked about when finding their mate.

"I am. And who might you be?"  The man smiled down at Jordan, eyes soft on the young boy. He almost reminded him of Zach. He had been listening to the kid to talk to Roman, but he still wasn't sure as to what conclusions they had come to.

"Jordan." The coyote introduced, watching Trever closely. Of course, there was no denying Trever was attractive. But Jordan had never believed in love at first sight and he could not feel something for someone when it was simply not there. He kept waiting for something to happen, to feel like Trever completed him, but it wasn't coming. Maybe they had to touch. "Look, I don't really feel like stalling. I guess I'll just get to the point. You are my mate. I'm assuming you know what that means." Jordan nodded, tugging his lower lip in between his teeth as he watched Trever closely.

"Uh, yeah Kid. I guess i've heard of that before."  The man still wore his easy smile, leaning up against the house. "Zach and Roman have the mate thing going on.  The kid inside unfortunately does not." He wasn't sure how serious this was though.  He had no intentions of leaving Toni.  He wasn't so much worried about his children either, they were old enough that they didn't worry about their parents home life anymore.

"It means I'm supposed to be with you. For like... ever." Jordan clarified, looking Trever over. It was quite uncomfortable, just telling someone they were yours now and he had no idea how the other wolves just seemed to do it so easily. "I kind of have to have you near me apparently, I can't live away from you." It sounded ridiculous now that he said it out loud.