Heavy In Your Arms

"What I want?" Jace sighed, looking up at his brother. "I want to have this baby and I want to raise it myself and I want to be a mommy. And I want to give it a good life and coddle it and watch it grow. I want it to love me more than anything." He spoke gently. "It's crazy Stein how attached I am to it already and I just found out this morning. I already love it so much."

"See there? What more reason do you need to keep it than that?" Stein pressed a gentle kiss to his brothers forehead, his hands still supporting on the boys back. "This kid is already loved. I know you're really young and you might need some help, but you have so many people here for that. And even if Piper doesnt come around at first, im sure he will! And hey, even if he doesnt, this kid will have the best uncle ever! And you know dad will be all over it. He's a sucker for kids! Especially if it's gonna be your kid!" Stein offered the boy a reassuring smile. "Everything is going to work out. And Im not trying to make the decision for you or anything, but I feel like you'd never forgive yourself if you give this kid up, Jace. I know you. You have so much love to give. It'd kill you to not be able to mother this kid."

"I just... what if he leaves or something?" Jace sighed at his brother. "I know I'm pathetic, but I don't know what I'd do without him. I don't want to scare him off."

"I understand Jace.  I  really do.  I've been ditched before.   I  wasn't even pregnant but I woke up one day and Dimitri was gone.   He said he left because he was scared, so believe me, I get it."  Stein hated that his brother had to go through this, hated that Piper was the one making him suffer.   Usually the man made his brother nothing but happy.  Stein was truly disappointed.
"But think about your kid living without you and Piper.   I  know mom and dad would take good care of it,  but we both know it wouldn't be the same. No one can love this baby like you can."

"Since when do I want to be a mom?" Jace groaned softly. "It happened so damn fast. I really want to." He was excited for it, even the pregnancy. He wanted to see his stomach grow with the child inside. "I guess I have to tell him, huh?" He sighed.

"Well, yeah. You're gonna have to do that. But afterwards I think you'll feel better since you'll know your going to be a mommy for sure. You could actually be excited for a change!" Stein was thankful that Jace seemed to be embracing it now instead of trying to do away with it for Piper. The boy deserved so much better.

Jace was biting on his lower lip, as he always did when he was nervous. He was terrified for Piper's reaction, but he knew his brother was right. Maybe he could even talk Piper into being okay with it.
"I think you're right." He smiled softly at Stein, pressing a kiss to the boy's cheek. "Promise you'll be the best uncle ever?" He was thankful to have Stein by his side always.

"Of course I will! I already love this kid! Thats why I honestly couldnt bare the thought of you letting it go." Stein had always loved his brother, even more than himself. This baby would be no different. Just a little piece of his brother running around, to carry on his love.
"We're going to spoil the hell out of it. Im already kinda excited...I wish you could be too." Stein offered the boy a reassuring smile, his lips pressing against Jace's forehead. "You deserve to be happy. You deserve a great pregnancy. I want you to be excited about it instead of scared. So imma help make it that way."

"Will you come back with me while I tell Piper?" Jace questioned nervously, squeezing his brother's hands in his own. "Daddy's there but I might need you if it doesn't go well..."

"Of course! Did you really think I was going to leave you to do it alone? We're twins. We dont do anything alone, Jace." Stein winked at the boy, proud that Jace wanted him there. "Now come on, lets get this shit over with so we can go celebrate." Stein wrapped his metal arm around the boys shoulders, leading him around to the passenger seat and making sure he was situated before sliding into the car himself. It was only ten minutes later and they were pulling back up at Pipers home. The door was still ajar, and all the lights were on, but it was silent throughout the home. Piper was sitting in the middle of the living room floor, his shoulders slumped and his head resting in his hands. The man looked defeated and haggard, a swollen blue and black bruise apparent on his left cheek and right eye.
Roman was standing in the mans kitchen. He had spoken his piece, shut Piper up with a hard right hook, and then he had continued to tell the man exactly how it was going to be.
And afterwards?
Roman had made himself comfortable and fixed a pot of coffee while waiting for his pup to come home.

Jace had been full of confidence as he stepped into the home. He was ready to talk to his lover and tell them he was going to have to man up and be a daddy. But as always, the second he saw Piper he caved.
"Daddy!" He snapped as he knelt in front of his lover. "You said you wouldn't fucking hurt him! I made you promise me!" He took Piper's face in his hands, leeching the pain of his bruises as he pressed kisses to the man's cheeks. "What did you tell him?"

"I didn't hurt him!" Roman called from the kitchen, his large form soon appearing in the doorway. "Did I Piper? All we did was talk." The mans brown eyes were harsh on Piper, daring the man to say anything that might upset his pregnant pup.
"Im not fucking hurt, Jace. He's just treating me like a kid!" Piper gently pulled the boys hands away, instead simply holding them as he tried to figure out what to do. Roman had him cornered Jace had him cornered.
He was fucked.
"Because you're acting like one."
"More reason for me not to damn have one!"
"Piper, we've fucking had this talk! Whats done is done." Roman took another threatening step forward, his teeth bared at his sons lover.
"Fuck off, pops. Im not scared of you." He was scared of the baby that was growing in his lovers stomach.

"I'm not an idiot, dad! There's another bruise on his face! And stop trying to intimidate him into wanting the baby! I thought you were actually going to talk to him for me and make things better but you're not helping! You're just making it worse." Jace finished with a heavy sigh, feebly trying to pull Piper back to him and away from Roman. "You don't have to listen to daddy but I'd appreciate it if we could talk about this." He spoke gently to his lover.

"There is no fucking talking to him, Jace. I told you that when you decided to pick his ass up in the first place!" The boys words had stung Roman. He had tried talking to Piper. He truly had. But how was he supposed to stand and just listen to this man telling him that he didn't want the baby? Saying he wanted Jace to have an abortion.
That was Romans baby he was talking about.....
And Roman was only making things worse by defending him?
The large man could only scowl at the pair on his way out the door, outraged even with Jace.
Piper watched the man leave with a relieved groan, his shoulders slumping once more. "Fuck, im so damn happy he's gone, yo." Piper tried to ignore the boys wanting to talk. It could only mean he had changed his mind and Piper was in no way ready to face that.

Jace could only groan as his father stormed out, knowing that was just another thing he'd have to go fix later. This was such a mess. He sat down in front of Piper, taking both of the man's hands in his own.
"I know you're scared Piper, and I don't blame you. We're both young and we're probably not mature enough to raise a kid together. But I don't think I could live with myself if I took this baby's chance at life away. And I really mean I want to talk about this with you, I'm not going to force you into it. We can still talk about adoption or something, I just really don't want to kill it." He tried to keep Piper's gaze the entire time, trying to read the man's emotions while he spoke.

Piper couldn't hold the boys gaze though, not when he felt like a blackhole had opened in his stomach, swallowing up his heart and everything with it. He had known Jace agreeing to get rid of it was too good to be true.
Why had he gotten the boy pregnant in the first place? Piper loathed himself. He shouldn't have ever gotten involved. But he had and now he was fucking trapped.
"So you're giving it up for adoption now, yo?" At least there was hope in that...He wouldn't have to raise it....

Jace forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat, tugging his lower lip in between his teeth nervously.
"I... you're not even willing to think about it?" It hurt, truly. He knew Piper was scared and he couldn't blame him for that. But it seemed like the man didn't even want to try and consider his feelings or what he wanted. He almost wanted to be mad at the man but he never could stay mad at Piper.

"Think about what, Jace?" Piper blinked at the boy in confusion. He was not a werewolf. He could not sense emotions. And Jace had yet to actually come out and say he wanted to keep it. In fact, Jace had been the one to mention the abortion and having the kid adopted. Piper had been blissfully thinking that he and Jace were on the same page.
"Are you trying to tell me you want to keep it or something? Like, raise it and shit yo?" His expression spoke volumes for the horror he felt curling in his stomach.

"I... I do." Jace admitted quietly. "I'm not going to force you to raise it which is why I want to talk about it but I really kind of want it... I didn't think I wanted it but now that it happened, I already feel like a mom, I guess. It's hard to explain." He sighed, squeezing the man's hands. "And even if we do keep it, I-I promise I'll take care of everything. You won't even have to help change it, feed it, play with it. You won't have to do anything, I'll handle it." He hadn't realized he was practically begging by the time he finished speaking.

"Awh shit, Shawty...." Piper couldn't bring himself to look at the boy, or return the hold Jace had on his hands. He couldn't do anything but stare at the floor, as though watching his entire life moving before his eyes, what it was going to be like now that he had fucked up so badly.
"You keep the damn thing if you want to, yo." He didn't even feel like speaking the boys name. It was like Jace had just snatched the ground out from under him, and now he was falling. "I just...I don't know if..I don't know what im going to do. But you want it, you got it." The man slowly pushed himself up, unable to stomach sitting in the same room as Jace and the baby. Instead he ditched the boy in favor of rolling himself a joint, hoping to smoke his dread away.

It was no secret that Jace was spoiled. He had been daddy's little boy who got everything he wanted when he was younger. Hell, he was still daddy's little boy. He had never had to deal with not getting something he wanted. But it looked like he was not going to get a picture perfect happy family with Piper.
"Piper please... don't be mad at me." Jace couldn't help but follow his lover, standing in the doorway and watching the man.

"Ayy! I don't even fucking know if im mad at your or not, Jace! I don't know shit anymore!" Piper could only light his joint, hoping it would sooth him enough to lower his voice. He hated to yell at Jace, he had never done it before. But he was cornered, and the baby was back in the room with him.
"When I woke up this morning, my life was damned perfect! I had a beautiful honey, a job I actually enjoy doing. My family has been trying to talk to me again! Everything was fucking great!" Piper punched an arm through the wall closest to his bed, his face contorted with frustration. " And now im so fucking lost! Everything I had this morning is just fucking gone! Now I have a fucking baby hanging over my head! Anything good I think about is ruined! My job? Wont pay enough for a kid. Me myself? I am not father material! I am a drug dealer for fucks sake! My mom and dad will disown the shit out of me when I tell them that your pregnant and I don't want it! But fuck! I didn't ask for this! I always wore a condom! I made for damn sure I always pulled out! Everything I could think of! I thought you were on the pill! And all of that has been for shit, yo. My life is shit now. Just a big fucking chaotic mess and I don't know weather to shit or go blind! I am uncomfortable touching you now because you have a baby inside you! The baby is the cause of my shit! Its even taking you away from me and I- I hate it!" Piper had tears welling in his eyes, his joint already almost gone. He was so lost, and utterly fucking alone. Jace had to be pissed at him for not wanting the kid now. Roman sure as fuck wanted him dead. His parents....Anyone that belonged to the pack....Piper would be hated.
He had nothing.
No one.

"It's not the baby's fault." Jace spoke so softly it was almost a whisper, defensively placing his hands over his stomach. "It's my fault for not taking my damn pill. So be mad at me, okay? And I told you, you won't have to even look at it if you don't want it that bad. I'll take care of it. Dad can even take it on the weekends or something, maybe. You don't have to tell your family. It'll all be okay." He tried to reassure the man but really, all he wanted was to go cry to Stein again. He hated this, hated that he was bringing a baby into this world where it wouldn't have a father to care for it.

"Alright, shawty. Whatever you say." Piper merely shook his head, his heart aching at the hurt in his lovers voice. "I just hate this shit, yo. Now we cant ever be the same again..."
Jace had to resent him. At least in some way. He was trying to get rid of their child for fucks sake. If the hate didnt come now, it would later when the kid was actually around.
And he'd told Jace from the beginning that he did not do well with commitment.
Well a kid was at least an eighteen year sentence, if not more.
It was like going to prison.
Piper had to get out of there.
"Jace...Why don't you go home for a little why? You need someone to take care of you and I gotta get my ass outta here right now. I cant be here. I gotta go." As he spoke he was already getting up, his eyes still avoiding Jace as he glancing around the room for his sweater.
Stein had entered the home by now, and he was standing just behind Jace, his iron arm even moving up to gently rest against the boys back in an attempt to give him support.

"Yeah, I'll go home." Jace nodded tearfully. He and Piper had very different ways of dealing with things. Jace needed someone to hold him, someone to cry to. Piper would rather run away from the problem and be alone. "Just don't do anything stupid, okay?" He sighed heavily as he turned and pressed his face into Stein's chest.