Say don't go.

"You should definitely tell him, flower." Dmitri nodded as he leaned his head forward onto the boy's shoulder. "But in the meantime, I'm here, okay? I know you can't love me like you love him and I probably won't be able to love you like I love my Holland. But we can help each other for now. If you need someone to lean on, I'm always free these days." He gave a sad smile, pressing a kiss to the boy's cheek.

"I know I've got to get over him." Breccan sighed heavily, letting himself rest in Denahi's arms still. "I can never go more than a few minutes without thinking of him. But you... tonight you almost made me forget, crocodile. You make me feel so much better. And I know it's not fair to ask you to stay with me while I get my shit together but I really like spending time with you." He murmured, lips finding their way to the man's jaw. "I don't blame you if you don't want to see me again since there's nothing in it for you but I want to see you again."

"Awh! Look at you all being an Angel again."  Rocinante crooned softly, his fingertips warming down the the length of Dimitri's shoulders. "I can't believe my mom doesn't like you, yoi.  You're pretty perfect, roadster.  With those silver eyes and all, Im really starting to think you're heaven sent."  The young werewolf snickered teasingly, but his glowing eyes were earnest and warm.

"Nothing in it for crocodile?"  Denahi pulled the boy back so that he could get a good look into the bright blue waves of his eyes. "That is stupid. Strong Jaw smiles, and he laughs. That is enough to keep crocodile coming back everyday."  Breccan's happiness was enough for him.  Of course he wanted to the physical connection but that would come whenever the boy was ready.  Until then, it was nice to simply feel alive again in the boys presence.

"Your mom has good reason not to like me. I messed up." Dmitri reassured the boy. "But I won't mess up again. So I hope he can forgive me and we can spend time together." He smiled down at the wolf, still pressing him close as he spoke. "I appreciate you thinking I'm perfect though." He chuckled softly.

Breccan felt his heart skip a beat at the man's words. Yeah, Denahi could definitely help him start moving on...
"You're really sweet, crocodile. You know that?" He smiled at the other man. "You're going to spend time with me and listen to me whine about my feelings just to see me." He shook his head incredulously.

"Well you are kinda perfect, 'Mitri."  Rocinante's smile was warm like the sun as he looked to the man, comfortable with their close contact.  Dimitri did make him feel better, as if he wasn't really so alone. Dimitri understood him. "I mean come on, yoi! You have face, and body, and thats just the shallow stuff.  You're also hella sweet and understanding.  Like...I guess I expected you to be mad about the Breccan thing.  But instead you just....You made me feel better."  The fiery werewolf pressed a chaste kiss to the Russian's forehead. "And you did it in that amazing Russia accent of yours.  That would lighten anyone's day." 

"Crocodile is not sweet for just anyone.  Only strong jaw."  He had no one else.  He hadn't ever wanted anyone else like this. Denahi had been fine with his lonesome life, but then Breccan started putting color into everything that had become grey and dismal.  "And crocodile would do anything to spend time with you and see your ocean eyes. You have become the sun, the moon and all of the stars for me.  If I can be in your presence I can be anything." The native's arms curled tenderly around the boys waist, his fingertips gently massaging soothing circles into Breccan's bare back. He loved the feel of the boys skin, slick and warm as they waded in the water.

"I couldn't be mad at you for the Breccan thing when I know how it feels to be pining over someone like that." Dmitri smiled at the boy. "I won't ask you to do anything more with me... but I'd really appreciate your company, Rocinante." He adored the way the boy's full name rolled off his tongue. "And I have been in dire need of a cuddle partner." He grinned slyly as he laid down across the couch, his arms open in case Roci decided to take him up on the offer.

"Shit, crocodile." Breccan shook his head, his own hands resting on the man's shoulders. "I wish I could just get the hell over Roci and be with you... any guy or girl in the world would kill to be in my place here with you." He sighed, one hand coming to stroke through the man's dark hair.

Rocinante had been determined after that night to talk to Breccan and finally lay everything on the line for the boy. But he had yet to have a chance.  Ever since the first night together, Denahi was hardly ever gone.  The Native was always at Jesse's home now, even joking about joining the pack if he could live with Breccan.  The man was first row at fights now, stealing away Rocinante's congratulatory hugs. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to get a decent moment alone with his friend and it was starting to take its toll on him.  He'd never gone so long without hanging out with the boy...Normally they would see eachother every day all day but now....
Denahi was stealing Breccan away, sweeping the boy right from under him. 
And Rocinante was rotting because of it.
Even now, the native was on his way out the door with Breccan on his arm.  Denahi even glanced back one time as if to say he'd won.
Rocinante was almost ready to explode.

Dmitri was having a bad night. One of the nights where he just sat at home by himself, tempted to call Stein but knowing it was a terrible idea. One of the nights where he was certain his heart was shattering and the loneliness surrounding him was suffocating.
Normally, it was Ajax who he went to on these nights. But Ajax was out with Britt. Roci was his only option, he couldn't handle another second in his home alone.
He made his way to Jace's house, hoping that maybe he'd get lucky and Roci would be home alone so he could see the boy. Even if they didn't do anything, Dmitri would be grateful for the company.
For once, he did get lucky. Jace and Piper were out on a date night, leaving Roci alone once Denahi had come over to pick up Breccan.
It was about an hour after Breccan left that Dmitri found himself at the front door, knocking and praying it was Roci who answered.

"I came here looking for a bit of a pick me up too, Rocinante." Dmitri sighed as he allowed the boy to lead him to the couch. He flopped down before pulling the wolf down atop of his chest. "You look sad." He murmured, a hand reaching up to caress the boy's cheek. "And you don't smoke." He frowned, eyeing the cigarette in between the boy's lips.

"Yeah, im really sad, yoi."  Rocinante cracked a tired smile. "I didn't even feel like getting up to get mom and dad's clothes out of the living room."  He waved his hand over near his mothers yoga mat, where like the first time the couple had clothes trailing to their doorway.  Rocinante hadn't bothered to shut their door, either.  Piper's speaker was still playing softly, just enough for them to hear it through the crack. "It's because fruit loops gone again.  He's been gone alot lately." The young wolf explained in a mere whisper, his hands almost cold in his slump. "And I know I don't smoke. Thats exactly what you tell my mom and anyone else who asks."
Rocinante never lied.
But then again, he'd never felt like this before either.  
He'd never been without his best friend.
"So tell me angel boy, what's wrong with you? What can Rosie do to pick you up?"  The boy reached out, his slender index fingers finding the corners of Dimitri's mouth.  He gently pushed up until the Russian had no choice but to smile. "Thats a start, yoi."

"It's just a bad night, my flower." Dmitri smiled sadly even as he removed Roci's hands from his face, holding them tightly. "Just your company is a pick me up, Roci. But what can I do to make you stop looking so sad?" He questioned the boy, hugging him close.

"Go kick Breccan's ass.  I can't do it, yoi."  But really even if he had the will power he wouldnt have the heart.  His best friend was the most precious thing in the world to him.  Rocinante never wanted him to hurt. In fact, for most of his life he had made it his job to see to it that Breccan was smiling and happy. Anything the boy wanted, Rocinante supported him.  Fights?  Rocinante tripped up extra and tended his wounds. Issues with Danny?  He'd whistle silly songs though the gap in his teeth until Breccan was laughing along with him.
His patty cakes...He wanted the boy happy.
So he should be fine now, right?  Breccan was falling in love, and even though they were miles apart Rocinante could feel it, how nice it was for him.
He should be rejoicing.
Not tearing up at the very thought of the boy so happy off without him.
He was being selfish.
The werewolf stomach knotted with guilt. 
"Not really though, Im just saying stupid shit. I don't know, yoi."  He was losing his train of thought, the cigarette giving him a quick head rush.
"I want to be the one making him happy but im not.  He is trying to get away from me.  But he promised this would never happen.  I know im supposed to be happy, but then why in the hell am I so damned sad, 'Mitri? He's happy.  It should be enough."

"It should be enough. You should be happy for him." Dmitri nodded in agreement. "But unfortunately, it doesn't work that way." He sighed, combing his fingers through the boy's hair. "I wish I could tell you it will get easier, but it doesn't. It's always going to hurt knowing he's happier with someone else. It's the same reason I'm sad tonight and I haven't even laid a hand on Holland in years. It isn't something you get over. You just learn to cope with the pain."

"I don't like it. It fucking makes me cold, yoi."  Rocinante hadn't been cold ever since he was a tiny child.  After getting his fire abilities he was always warm and radiant.  But lately, without Breccan, it was as though his flame was burning low. The werewolf finished off his cigarette, wiping the flame away with his thumb before flicking it into Piper's ashtray. There was actually still a half finished joint stubbed out in the ash bowl upon further inspection, a clear indication to Rocinante that one thing had lead to another and his parents had ditched the smoke for the bedroom. 
Normally he would have smiled at that, happy that his parents were still so in love.  If Breccan where there instead, he might even babble on about wanting a sibling.
But this wasnt normal, and Rocinante couldn't think of anything but Breccan and his steadily fluttering heart.
Denahi must be touching him, or talking to him in that low native language of his that always seemed to have Breccan so flustered he couldn't see straight.
"Hey roadster? We should blow town together sometime.  Not for long, and i'd tell mom of course yoi.  But I think it would be great for us to get away for a bit." The young werewolf wound his steady but slender arms around Dimitri's waist, his orange eyes not nearly as bright as they once had been. "Wha'ddya say?"

"I say that sounds wonderful, drakonchik." Dmitri smiled softly. It truly did sound great to just get away from it all, just enjoy Roci's company. "We should go somewhere far away... just the two of us, for a weekend or so." He nodded in agreement. "I'd love that." He leaned in, pressing his lips to the boy's cheek and lingering there for a moment.

"I want to go some place where its cold, yoi."  Rocinante gave a bitter sweet smirk.  It was something he had always wanted to do with Breccan, but it didn't look as though he would ever get the chance now. "That way, you'll have to stay really close to me to keep warm."  He gave a soft laugh, all his concentration going into imagining a freckle onto Dimitri's bottom lip.
It simply wasnt the same though.
"I never thought i'd say this to another person, but you're really warm."  The young werewolf ran his thumb along Dimitri's bottom lip as he so often did with Breccan. "Especially your Angel lips."

"Am I?" Dmitri smirked softly as he looked up at the other boy. "I could say the same about you." He chuckled as his arms wound around Roci's waist. "You always keep me warm. You're useful to have around, like my own personal heater." He grinned, enjoying the way the boy was running his thumb along his lower lip.

"Hey, lemme ask you a question Roadster. "  Rocinante's voice was soft, his eyes distant and far away with thoughts of Breccan. "Have you ever thought of Uncle monster mash when you were with someone else?" The young werewolf cocked his head to the side curiously, his hands still warming on the Russian's body.

Dmitri was taken aback by the question but it didn't take him long to answer.
"I have." He admitted. "I know that makes me sound terrible and it wasn't fair to the people I was with but... it made the pain stop for a little while." He sighed softly. "I never really believed it for long but it was nice to pretend. The few seconds where I actually thought I was with him again were complete bliss."

"Would you....Like to try that with me?"  Rocinante was astounded when the words left his mouth, his eyes immediately widening with horror. "I-I just meant like, I uh....We can't go all the way because that wouldnt be a great first time but uh..." The fiery werewolf took a deep breath, his face completely flushed with embarrassment. He was cursing himself internally, amazed at what his unfiltered mouth could do.  "If you can pretend, I can too, yoi!" He trailed off after that, not wanting to continue with his babbling and hoping that he hadn't crossed a line with his friend.

Dmitri was quite stunned by the boy's offer. It was quite tempting, he had to admit.
"Hey, don't freak out, Roci." Dmitri reassured the boy, stroking his hair comfortingly. "It's not a bad suggestion."
Most nights, he would have said no. He would not want to take away some of the boy's first experiences like this, with him pretending to be touching someone else. But tonight, he was desperate and hurting. He needed something.
"Are you sure about that, Rocinante?" He questioned gently. "I'd... I'd definitely like to try it but only if you're serious."

"I-I really miss Breccan."  The young wolfs words hitched in his throat, the boys glowing eyes being smothered by wetness. "I miss him so much that I can hardly breath, and If you'd let me pretend...I...I'd do anything, yoi."  He wanted to be with his precious person, even if Breccan knew nothing about it.
Even if it would never be real.
"I'll even be Holland for a night."  He used his uncles given name, hoping that it would be enough to make the Russian agree.

Dmitri stared at the boy for a moment before taking Roci's face in his hands, bringing him in for a gentle kiss.
"We can pretend for tonight, love." He nodded his head lightly as he pulled back. "I can be Breccan for you. Just tell me if you want to stop at any point. You don't have to do anything with me that you don't want." He murmured softly, though his heart already aching less at the thought of having someone to spend the night with.

Rocinante had already been leaning in for another kiss when he jerked back, an idea striking him and causing him to stumble to his feet. 
"One second, yoi! I'll be right back!"  The young werewolf disappeared off into his room, coming back a moment later with a blue long sleeved sweater. It was one of Breccan's, a shirt that he'd left the last time he stayed.
It still smelled like him.
"Here, will you please put this on and not think im creepy?"  Rocinante tossed the shirt over to the Russian before once more vanishing into the guest bedroom.  This time he himself came out wearing a different shirt.  It was a piece that Stein adored, a sleeveless black affair that had Frankenstein spelled out on the front, along with a detailed image of the monster on the shirts back. The boy had actually received it from Dimitri on his birthday one year, and being he still wore it often, his scent lingered with it.
"What do you think about this, yoi? Pretty great idea, right?"  Rocinante was babbling, trying to enjoy himself and pretend that it was Breccan sitting on his couch. He even whistled softly, the tune of my girl by the temptations, one of his and Breccan's songs.

Dmitri was breathless at the sight of the boy in the shirt he remembered so well. He could still picture his Holland wearing it the day Dmitri had given it to him and suddenly, it was very easy to pretend. He slipped out of his shirt, replacing it with the sweater Roci had brought him. It didn't fit him quite as well as it did Breccan, but it would do.
"It's a great idea." Dmitri informed as he stood, approaching the boy and pressing him close. "You might want to take me up to your room though, in case your parents do happen to get home." He murmured as he wrapped his arms around Roci's waist. The only thing ruining the illusion was the wolf's height. He wanted to get them somewhere comfortable where he could pretend it was his Holland laying with him.