Say don't go.

"I love you too, crocodile." Breccan was panting softly as he rested his head in the crook of the Native's neck, pressing his lips to the man's collar bone. By now he had learned a few words in the man's native language. I love you had been the first thing he'd caught on to. He'd had to with how much Denahi said it.
He truly did think he was in love with Denahi. But there was still the Rocinante issue.
Breccan kept waiting for the feelings for his best friend to disappear. Sometimes he thought he succeeded. Like on nights like this when Denahi made his stomach flutter and his heart race. He could hardly remember Roci's name while Denahi's hands were on him. But then the second he set eyes on the lanky boy again, he was falling just as hard. He had no clue how to fix the situation and so he simply spent as much time with Denahi as possible. The man was spending the night nearly every night now except for Friday's which were still reserved for movie nights with Rosie, as always.
"I thought you were always good, crocodile, but it's even better in the bed." Breccan smirked tiredly at his lover, claiming his lips in a tired kiss.

The only times Rocinante smiled anymore was on Fridays.
He had accepted that Breccan was gone. The boy was happy. He wasn't coming back.
No one asked for 'Rosie and Breccan' anymore. It was just one or the other now. The two had gone from being inseparable to seeing each other once a week. Or really Breccan saw Rocinante once a week.  The lanky boy was still attending fights, even when he wasnt invited.  He always turned away before Denahi received the victory hug though.  His heart could never take it. 
Rocinante was struggling. 
He missed going to Breccan's in the early morning for breakfast, even if it was only to have cold cereal. He ached for all the evenings they would spend watching ridiculously old or cheesy movies, especially the 1966 Batman television series.  Those always had them cracking up, play fighting every time a "Pow!" Or a "Ka-Blam!" Came across the screen as Batman and Robin defeated evil. 
His nights were lonely now.  He couldn't sneak over to Breccan's and sing songs outside the boys window anymore.  It had always been a thrill when the fighter would come to the window and lean out, his strong jaw softening with a smile. 
His life had been so perfect before.
But now Rocinante didn't get up until late.  The less time spent awake anymore was the better.  The young werewolf ate warm foods for breakfast and  let Piper have the last of his honey smacks. At night he'd smoke in his bedroom and let it filter out his window.  For a while he'd tried having Dimitri over, and even Parker and Ouja a few times but he always wound up having them leave early.  No one's company could ever compare to Breccan, and if anything it only made the gaping wound in his chest that much more noticeable. 

"Strong Jaw says that only because now he gets to sleep comfortably without having to be carried anywhere."  The native teased softly leaning down to deliver soft kisses against the boys eyelids. "The swift fated is always so exhausted.  Crocodile really wears him out."  The man was grinning proudly, his arms winding tight around Breccan's waist.

"Oh shut up." Breccan chuckled softly, though he was nuzzling the Native's neck in an unusually sweet manner. "You'd be worn out too if you were in my position, crocodile. And one of these nights I'm going to put you there." He smirked, lips attaching to the man's jaw, leaving a light hickey behind. "But for tonight, you're right. I'm just damn grateful not to have to let your big ass carry me up to bed like I'm a toddler." He laughed lightly as he threw one of his legs over both of Denahi's, curling in closer to the man.

"Maybe one night."  Denahi agreed softly, willing to give himself to Breccan completely if thats what his strong jaw wanted at this point.  He was certain he'd found his mate, and now that Breccan was only seeing Rocinante once a week the native was having no worries about the babbling idiot coming back to ruin their relationship.  Rocinante had thrown in the towel the day he'd sent Breccan off crying.  
"And you complain but strong jaw knows he really likes being carried." The man teased gently, tucking Breccan's head underneath his chin. "Swift fate is a big softy."

"Only for you, crocodile. You should know that by now." Breccan couldn't help but smile at the man because really, Denahi was right. He was not as big and tough as he liked to think he was. He laid there in silence for a moment, occasionally dropping kisses onto Denahi's neck, wanting to make the man's body as covered in love bites as his own was. But it was only a few minutes before he dozed off into a light sleep, his face buried in the crook of his lover's neck.

Denahi had been about to doze off as well, his lips resting at Breccan's temple when he heard the boys phone began to vibrate.  At first he ignored it, but around five minutes later when he was bordering sleep the phone went off again.
This time, Denahi reached across Breccan and picked the phone up from the nightstand.  The screen was flashing Rocinante's nickname, alerting Breccan that he had a new text message and one missed call.
Denahi glanced over the message, his upper lip drawing back in irritation.
Where are you? Its Friday and The pet Sematary is about to start. I have popcorn;)
The native glanced down to Breccan, still sleeping peacefully on his chest. 
He could show Rocinante what the boy was doing. 
Denahi settled back against the pillows, smiling at all the fresh love bites that clouded Breccan's skin.  The boys head was still tucked comfortably in the crook of the werewolfs neck.  When Denahi clicked to Breccan's front facing camera, he could see that a tiny content smile could still be noticed on the boys face, even when he was in such a position. This would make for a lovely picture. 
Denahi grinned triumphantly up at the phone, and snapped a photo of the two of them tangled up together, snuggling.
And without another thought, he pressed send and settled back down beside his lover, clutching the boy tightly against his chest. 

Rocinante had been pacing around the living room, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet as he waited for Breccan.  The boy had been late before because of Denahi so he didn't suspect anything to be wrong.  He was irritated though, angry that Breccan was wasting time on the only day they would spend together.  Fridays were sacred to Rocinante now...
The young werewolf's heart jumped as he heard his phone go off, a relieved smile breaking over his face.  Breccan was probably on his way, Rocinante thought as he plopped down on the couch, picking his phone up and opening his message.
The young wolf felt an impact even though nothing had actually it him.  It was like a steam roller had just drove into his chest, only to back up and hit him again when he finally felt the  true reality of it. All of a sudden his hands were trembling and the phone was clattering to the floor, the picture of his Patty cakes peaceful sleeping face still staring back at him.
And so was Denahi.  The Indian was fucking grinning up at him, taunting him, laughing at him.
Gloating that he had ripped away everything that meant anything to Rocinante.
The young wolf was surprised when his head didn't begin to spin like the exorcist.
 He was moving through, his long legs carrying him away and out the door before he even realized what was happening.  His wolf had kicked in, finally snapping under the weight of losing its mate. He made it to Rigby's home faster than he ever had, his lungs on fire and his cheeks wind burnt but he didnt care.  Rocinante had been ready to charge the door but the boy stopped himself, swallowing his wolf back and knowing that he couldnt possibly act as Danny had. It would be unforgivable.  
Instead he would go quietly, just until he could get Denahi into the yard.
And then it would be full on fucking warfare. 
  The native had finally fallen asleep by the time Rocinante was walking into Breccan's bedroom.  The younger werewolf stopped in the doorway to mentally prepare himself for what it would be like to actually see them in the flesh curled up together, but he thought he was ready after the picture.
He was wrong.
Rocinante walked in and immediately caught on fire at the sight of them.  The boy tried not to look at Breccan, knowing that if he did it would ruin him and he would fall where he stood.  Instead all the pictures on the wall caught his eye, especially the large collage on his right. 
Breccan didn't need that anymore. He had Denahi to take pictures with.
Rocinante slowly made his way over to the collage, flames already licking at his fingertips as he picked out his favorites, holding them until they were nothing but scraps and ashes.
But that wasnt enough.
The pictures seemed to be mocking him, showing him all the precious things he had lost.
It had to go.
They all had to go.
 Rocinante opened the boys window, taking a moment to remember a night that he'd climbed in through that same window to place the collage on Breccan's bed as a surprise for his seventeenth birthday.
Back out the window it went, burning bright orange until it finally hit the ground outside and shattered, all the pictures scattering.  Some to be burned and others shredded by the impact.
It still did nothing to stop the raging fire in his chest.
Finally Rocinante turned to the bed, noting dully that Denahi was indeed laying on his side and holding Breccan in a way that he himself had only ever dreamed of.
That was it.
Rocinante walked calmly over to the bed, no bounce in his step and no lightness in his heart. At Denahi's side he reached down and covered the mans mouth with the palm of his hand, burning the Denahi's lips and waking him with a snarling jolt. 
"Get the fuck outside, you bastard.  I'll be waiting yoi."  It was all Rocinante said, not cowardly enough to attack the man while he was unconscious or risk damaging Rigby and Breccan's home.  He was either about to deliver the ass whipping of Denahi's life or he was going to carry one.
Either way he would do it like a man.  He would fight fairly.  Breccan always had.
Denahi could only blink as Rocinante paused in the doorway, telling him again to come the hell on before disappearing.
The native hadn't expected the boy to retaliate in any way.  Just cry like the pathetic little bitch he was.
But this was good too.  Now he didnt need an excuse to beat the boys ass.

Breccan didn't wake until a moment after Denahi had left the room, noticing the absence of warmth from his bed immediately. He panicked then as he woke, realizing he was late for movie night. He hadn't meant to fall asleep. He was already rolling out of the bed and trying to recall where his clothes were when he realized Denahi was gone. And he smelled fire.
His collage. All his pictures, gone.
"No, no, no, no." He murmured to himself almost frantically as he ran to the open window, glancing down and seeing the blazing pile of pictures on the ground. All of his favorite memories, burning up. Why the hell had Roci done that? Was he that mad Breccan was late for movie night? The fighter felt tears pricking at his eyes as he slipped into his boxers and stumbled down the stairs, wondering where in the hell Denahi was.
By this point he had a pretty good idea Rosie was here too.
He found them a few minutes later in the yard, right near the still smoking ashes that had been all of his favorite memories mere moments ago.
"Rosie?" Breccan cried out, still devastated and wondering just what the hell he had done to piss the boy off. "Wh-what the hell are you doing here?" He didn't want to cry over something as stupid as some burning pictures but he couldn't help it. It hurt to lose them but most of all it hurt that Roci had destroyed them as if he wanted Breccan to hurt.
All the nights where he wondered what it would feel like to cuddle with Roci instead of Denahi, those pictures were still there for him, reminding him of his best friend and all of the great times they'd shared. And now they were gone.
"Wh-why'd you do that?" Breccan gestured to the pile of ashes before catching sight of Denahi and remembering he needed to know what the hell was going on. "And why are you two out here anyways? Were you that made I was late? Because I'm sorry Rose, really. I fell asleep!" The boy cried out pitifully, looking over to his friend with his big blue eyes full of confusion and hurt.

"Because you don't need those fucking pictures anymore! You don't need me anymore! You have fucking Denahi yoi! From what i've seen you have plenty of pictures with him! So its not a big deal! If You can replace me with him you can damn well replace all of my pictures."  Rocinante felt stricken at the sight of his mates tears, and even now he felt the need to make it better but what was he to do?  If anything would comfort Breccan it would probably be that fucking werewolf who was getting ready to fight. "And  yes im mad that you were late, but this shit's been a long time coming yoi! Friday is supposed to be my day! It's all I fucking have left! You have taken everything else and given it to that mother fucker but I was supposed to have today! It's all I had to hold onto!"   Rocinante's chest was heaving, rattling with whatever had snapped inside of him.  "You gave him everything that was supposed to be mine damnit! Y-You let him take your virginity when we both know it should have been me! I was supposed to be the fucking first and the only and the last! You've ditched me and you've been with him, and I have been eating that shit because I love you so fucking much i'd rather live like this than without you."  The boy wanted to scream at Breccan but he couldnt find it in himself to do such a thing. 
"I have spent most of my life praying and pretending that one day you would wake up and love me back. That one night when you kissed me yoi, I thought I had a chance. But then you wanted me to fucking leave! So you could spend time with Parker! That was the first time I realized that I was fucking in trouble, because all i'd ever be was your bestfriend Rosie. You were determined not to see me as anything more but I still tried every fucking day yoi! Dimitri was supposed to make you jealous or something! Maybe you would want me if you just saw someone else could have me. But I fucked up because then you met that fucking wolf and you fell in love with him and I couldnt even pretend anymore! You dropped my like a fucking rock, Breccan. You even wanted me to move on with Dimitri but guess what? It was never about Dimitri.  He let me kiss his mouth and pretend it was you for a night while you were gone and it bit me in my ass! You went and made love to Denahi!" Rocinante had forgotten he was here to fight, so busy spilling his guts to Breccan.  "You broke me! You knew I was fucked up and where were you? With him!"  Rocinante pointed an accusing finger at the native. "I have dreamed about how we would lose out virginity to eachother and live happily ever after for fucking years and all of a sudden it was gone.  I-I didn't get to kiss Frank and I didn't get to connect the freckles on your back and I wasn't there to hold you and you started this new part of your life and took such a big first step and you did it without me."  Rocinante didn't notice that Denahi seemed to be getting more and more agitated by the minute. "But I tried to be okay because you were okay! You were fucking happy without me and so I was like fucking fine! At least I still have Fridays! But then you didn't come for our movie night and instead I got this fucking wonderful picture to show me why!" 
Rocinante had been about to go on, talking in such a speed that it was hard to understand him.
But Denahi had understood.
And he was laughing, pointing and laughing at how pathetic the boy sounded.
Thats when Rocinante finally lost it.  He'd never been in a fight before.  He had hardly ever even argued with anyone. But he was stepping to Denahi now, swinging violently at the Native's jaw.

Breccan could only stare as he heard the words coming from Roci’s mouth.
Roci loved him?
After all these years pining over the boy, Roci loved him back.
He should be happy, overjoyed, overcome with emotion.
But instead, it was anger he felt rising inside of him. His stomach was on fire and it was not because of Roci heating up in front of him.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Breccan spoke finally as he lunged forward, yanking Roci away from Denahi. “I’ve been in love with you since we were fucking five years old, Roci. And don’t even try to tell me you didn’t know! Because I kissed you that night, after my first fight. And you pushed me away and broke my fucking heart. So you don’t get to fucking stand here and tell me you love me and assume that will fix everything!” He had been trying not to lose his temper but it was far too late for that now. “And why did you come over here and burn my fucking pictures and break into my damn room? Because I slept with Denahi? Because finally after thirteen fucking years of loving you and waiting for you to love me back, I finally decided to do something for me? I decided to fucking give up because I was sick of waiting and hurting every time I saw Dmitri touching you. Denahi was the first fucking thing that made me forget about you. As a fucking friend you should have been happy for me Roci! Did you fucking see me doing this shit when you were fooling around with that fucking Russian bastard? No! Because I actually fucking love you Roci. And even though I was jealous and hurting all the damn time, I would never have done this. Because we’re friends. Or at least I fucking thought we were.” Breccan’s anger had turned into hurt at this point, but he was trying to shake it off. Sine when did his Roci act like this? When did Roci yell at him? And for doing nothing but sleeping with someone else? “You don’t fucking love me, Roci. Because if you did you wouldn’t have fucking barged in here and tried to ruin this for me. Friends don't do that shit to each other and you certainly don't do that shit to someone you're in love with. I would know. You’ve got no fucking clue what love is, Rose. If you loved me you would have been happy I was finally happy or at least pretended to be happy for me and let the jealousy eat at you inside. That’s what I was fucking doing ever since you laid eyes on Dmitri.” Now he was holding back tears, his jaw clenching with his anger and frustration. “So fuck off, Roci. I'm not forgiving you for this. You didn't have the fucking balls to tell me anything until I finally got happy with someone else. And now you decide that I'm somehow the asshole for doing something for myself for once. It's over, Rose. I guess this is it for us and I hope you know it’s all your fucking fault!” The tears had won now and were blurring his vision. He was pissed at his Rosie and pissed that he had to leave and pissed that he was crying. His anger came out through a fist to Roci’s cheek which he regretted immediately after.
He turned to Denahi then, shaking his head.
"And I don't know what damn picture he's talking about, crocodile, but I'm pretty sure you had something to do with it." He spoke while fighting back his tears, looking at the Native man. "I really can't handle this shit right now. So I'm going back to my damn bed and you two can just... I don't fucking give a shit what you do." It was a lie of course, but he didn't look back, merely storming back into his home and slamming the door behind him.

"B-Breccan!"  Rocinante was immediately scrambling after the boy, the sight of Breccan walking away impacting him worse than when the fighters fist had landed on his cheek. He couldn't let Breccan get away, he was hurt and it couldn't be over.  Rocinante couldn't begin to accept it just being over. 
"You aren't going anywhere, talks too much!"  Denahi reached out, his fingers curling into Rocinante's blonde curls and yanking the young wolf back.  He wouldn't allow Rocinante to cause his mate to cry any longer.
"You heard what strong jaw said.  He wont forgive you, because you have fucked everything up.  You had your chance with him and you waited and now its gone.  Breccan is mine now, so do us both a favor and go!" 
Rocinante could only jerk away from Denahi, the werewolf's words burrowing deep inside his chest.  It wasn't because of Denahi saying it, but because thats exactly what Breccan had said.  Rocinante was selfish and Breccan didn't deserve that in a best friend, or a lover.
Especially not a mate.
All he wanted was to forget what Breccan said and go beg for forgiveness, hold the boy until he stopped hurting.
But no. He couldn't do that. Breccan was right, this was all his fault and he was an asshole for it.
" I'll leave, just....Go make him stop crying, yoi.  Make him stop hurting. Please."
"He was fucking fine before you came here!"  Denahi snapped hatefully as Rocinante brought up Breccan's tears, striking out to catch the boy in the same cheek his lover had. "So thats for making my strong jaw cry and ruining his photos. You can go to hell. Dont ever come back here.  He is fucking happy without you."  The werewolf turned back to the home after that, following Breccan in the front door.

Breccan was halfway up the stairs by the time he heard Denahi enter behind him.
"Listen, crocodile." He sighed as he turned around. "I don't really feel like fucking talking right now, okay? I just want you to go fucking home. I just want to go the hell to bed, alright?"
He knew it was not Denahi's fault, not at all. He was just so frustrated with everything, mostly himself. Why couldn't he just be content with Roci out of his life? Why couldn't he just act like nothing happened and let Denahi come back up to bed with him and forget Rocinante even existed?

"Breccan you are my home." Denahi swallowed thickly, unwilling to accept that his strong jaw wanted him to leave. "Look, if its because crocodile fucked up with the picture he truly is sorry."  The Native's muscles were taut with nervousness, his stomach coiling with dread.  Breccan was all he had anymore.  He didn't want to go back to being alone. The werewolf didn't think he could stand it anymore. "Crocodile didn't think that it would cause such a problem. Please Awenasa," My home. "Let crocodile make it up to you.  Do not turn me away." The native took a step closer to Breccan up the staircase, one of his tanned hands coming to reach for the boy. "Forgive me, Strong jaw."

"Denahi." Breccan sighed heavily, trying to calm himself so he could speak to the other man. He wanted to tell him that he didn't think this would work for much longer, that no matter how hard he tried he couldn't make himself forget Rocinante. But something about the look in the Native's eyes... how could he turn him away? Plus, he really did not want to spend the night alone. "Crocodile, are you sure I'm your mate? How do you wolves know that shit?" He spoke as he gave in, taking a step forward and grasping the man's extended hand, slowly leading him back up the stairs.

Relief flooded the Native's face as Breccan's took his hand, his stomach uncoiling just enough so that he could breathe again.  He could tell that the boy was still upset though, possibly unsure about them and that caused a pain to blossom in Denahi's chest.  "You are crocodile's soulmate.  I know you are the one because when I look at you I am home.  Not a second goes by that im not loving you."

"Crocodile, I love you too. So much." Breccan sighed heavily, his arms finding their way around Denahi's shoulders as he moved to hide his face in the crook of the man's neck, appreciating the way they seemed to fit perfectly together. Maybe that was a sign. Was Denahi his soulmate? If the man was, wouldn't he have been able to stop his feelings for Roci by now? "I just... I don't know anymore. I'm trying so hard to love you like you deserve to be loved. You're one of the greatest guys I've ever known and you deserve so much better than me. You deserve someone who can give you all of their love."

"Can you not?"  Denahi asked softly, his words heavy with dread.  He could feel where this was going, and the native was doing everything in his power to stop it.  His arms had tightened around Breccan, as though that would stop the boy from wanting to leave him.  Denahi had ruined himself by getting so attached to the boy, loving him so deeply that now life without him hardly seemed bearable.  He didn't want to be alone anymore.
Breccan was home.
"Crocodile thought that he had all of strong jaws love...."  The mans golden eyes were unable to reach Breccan's face, instead falling to a freckle just on the boys collar bone.
What if he never got to kiss there again?
"If he does not then he is willing to be better. Crocodile will fight for you."

"It's not your fault, crocodile. It's mine. You're so perfect." Breccan spoke truthfully, taking the man's face into his hands. "You haven't done anything wrong. It's all me, Denahi. I really want to give you everything I've got, crocodile, but I'm just so damn hung up on Rocinante. I don't want you to think I was only with you to try and get over him because that wasn't it at all. I really fell for you, Denahi. Everything we have is completely real. I just... I can't stop thinking about him and I know that's such a shitty thing to do to you, but I think it would be even worse to keep leading you on when I'm not sure how long we'll last." He couldn't meet Denahi's gaze, merely leaning into his lover's chest and hoping he wouldn't be hated.

"This is.....This is the swift fated breaking up with me, isn't it?"  The man's expression was forlorn and lost, his golden eyes dulling as the heartbreak rushed up inside him.  "This is you asking crocodile to disappear."  The native's mouth pricked with cruel words, so many hurtful things he could have said.  But nothing came forth.  He couldn't bring himself to cause his strong jaw pain.  Hurting Breccan was unforgivable. 
But what about him?
Would he ever stop hurting? 
Was it even worth it anymore? 
How was he supposed to go back to being alone after knowing a love so deep and pure?
Alone.
Again.
"If that is what you wish, then crocodile will make it so."  Denahi spoke finally, his voice dull and listless in an attempt to hide the heart ache and desperation.

"I don't want you to disappear, Denahi." Breccan spoke softly, reaching out to take the man's face in his hands. "You mean so much to me. I'm always gonna love you, crocodile. You're my first kiss, my first time, my first love. There's no forgetting you." He reassured as his lips fell on the man's jaw. "Please don't disappear completely. I know it isn't fair but..." Breccan trailed off, knowing how shitty it would be for him to tell the man they could "still be friends." It wasn't fair to ask Denahi to sit around and watch him love someone else. The man deserved better than that. "I just love you so much, crocodile. And I don't want to never see you again."

"But strong jaw doesnt want to be with me anymore, does he?"  Denahi swallowed thickly, averting his gaze in the hopes that Breccan couldn't see his foundation crumbling. He was losing this boy, who he had loved and admired at first sight.  This boy he had mated and planned a future with. He was losing this boy who was the only thing that made him feel alive.
His Breccan, His strong jaw, his swift fate with ocean eyes.
His reason for living.
Gone.

As Breccan saw the look on Denahi's face, he so desperately wanted to pull Denahi back in, tell him that it would be okay and that they could stay together. But he knew it would only hurt the man worse if he waited longer to end things. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't see himself spending the rest of his life with Denahi. Roci would always be there in the back of his head. He would never be content with anyone with Roci. So if Roci didn't want him it looked like a lonely future ahead.
"It's not that I don't want to, crocodile. I wish I could be with you but you deserve all of me... and I can't give that to you, no matter how hard I've tried." He sighed heavily. "I love you though, Denahi." He pressed a gentle kiss to the man's lips, trying to ignore the dull ache already in his chest.

The kiss seemed to strike Denahi, finally shattering whatever it was that had been holding the man together.
When Breccan pulled away, the native jerked as though he'd been shot, his golden eyes brimming with despair.
"A-Ayor ano, Awenasa." I love you, My home.  "Goodbye." 
Denahi turned from him then, tears finally pouring down his cheeks like water over dark rock.  The man was stumbling down the stairs and disappearing into the night before anything could be said, before Breccan could touch him again.
He'd already lost everything else.  His little bird's heart had stopped beating because of his own foolish thinking, and the boys Kwanita, his other little shadow had declared him a monster, just as Sitka and Shiloh had.
And Bane....He remembered the last time he had saw the boy, his first kiss and his favorite shelter.  Bane had looked at him, blue eyes full of confusion and hurt and...
Disgust.
He was a murder and a monster.
And now he had lost his strong jaw, too. 
The only thing he had left to lose was himself.

The second Denahi was gone, Breccan felt as if he could no longer breathe. He allowed himself to slump over right there on the stairs, head in his hands as the tears fell.
He could not go to his Rosie. Really, he wished he had kept Denahi here just for the comfort. But that would have been selfish, to keep the man just so he wouldn't have to be alone. Denahi deserved better and Breccan hoped he found it.
So he simply sat there at the top of the stairs, leaning against the wall and allowing himself to sob freely without worrying about how pathetic he would look right now. He needed someone. Anyone would do, really. But no one ever held him quite as well as his daddy.

It was midnight, now October 16th. As on every year at this time, Wiley found himself kneeling beside the old willow tree, his head resting against the carving that still read Kenai loves Kwanita.
You would think it would get easier each year, that the pain would lessen eventually. Maybe he'd even start to forget what Kenai looked like, how the boy's lips had felt against his own, how happy he'd been lying under this very tree, laughing together over nothing at all.
But no. He could still remember every blessed day he'd spent by Kenai's side. And the pain was still just as fresh, like an open wound, like it had just been yesterday that he'd lost his entire world.
In reality though, it had been five years since that night. This was the fifth time he'd came here for the boy's birthday, the jar of blackberry jam he'd made still resting at the base of the tree trunk.
He was eighteen now, had been for a few months. He only wished Kenai was here with him. They'd be celebrating the boy's eighteenth birthday together then instead of him sitting here with tears pouring down his cheeks.

Rigby had gotten a bad feeling while at his therapy session, and even though his trainer had pleaded with him to stay, the southern man had refused and instead rushed his way home.  He knew something had to be wrong with his baby, he had only ever felt this way once.
When he'd lost Bane...
The thought made Rigby press down on the gas harder, until the petal was completely shifted to the floor.  He made it home in five minutes, flying into the home as if his limp had never bothered him.  "Breccan! Sunshine?"  The man hassled, turning the corner to the stairs and nearly falling to his knees with relief. His son was breathing, and he didn't seem to be bleeding or broken anywhere.
But fuck, the boy was crying.
Rigby hated to hear it, to see it.  Even when Breccan had been a baby his cry had always pierced Rigby, but now that the boy was older, and only cried when there was pain, it was even worse.
"Sunshine, sunshine!"  The southern man cooed gently, making his way up the stairs and sweeping Breccan into his arms.  The boy was getting big, enough to cause a numb ache in his hip but Rigby hardly felt it. His baby was hurt.  Maybe not physically but that didnt matter.
Breccan was crying.
"What's wrong sweet heart? What can daddy do for you to make it better? Let daddy make it better, Breccan." 
He desperately needed to make it better. 

The birds  still sang their song when Wiley approached the tree, repeating it softly every now and again when Wiley's pain became nearly unbearable. Kenai had left his mark all over the place.  Even though he hadn't walked the earth in five years, things still remembered him.  He had been a friend to every living creature, often undoing Sitka and Denahi's snares to let small game escape, and even once a doe. The birds had been his friends, and every tree in the area bore his marks.
The young native was in the song that the birds were whistling, and in the wind that caressed Wiley's cheeks. 
Kenai had been buried long ago.
But his spirit was still loving, bound to his soul mate and destined to watch in silence as the boy grieved. 
What he wouldn't give to be able to taste that jam, and receive his birthday kisses, and every kiss in between. 
Denahi had been so caught up in Breccan that he didn't notice until ten minutes after twelve what day it was.
October 16th.
The day he'd gotten his little bird killed.
The day he had lost everything.
How fitting.
Blindly, without realizing where he was even headed, Denahi found himself stumbling through the forest.  He only knew when the large branches of the willow tree appeared to him, reaching high above everything else.
He had gone home.
Back to his little bird.
"Kenai, I-"  Denahi began as he finally broke through the trees, into the clearing that centered the tree. His voice died when he noticed the figure leaning against the tree, shoulders quivering with tears.
"K-Kwanita?" The native's breath caught in his throat at the sight of the boy. "Is that you?" 
All of a sudden Denahi found himself afraid.  What if he wasn't welcomed here right now?  What if Wiley turned on him and wanted him dead? Told him again how it was his fault?
Didn't didnt think he could bare it.
The grave was well tended.  Sitka had planted wild flowers of every kind, but mostly the ones from the back field that the boy had often picked for Wiley. His older brother had managed a stone too, it seemed.  Before there had been nothing but a wooden marker, but now, where his little brother lay, there was a sleek black stone.  
Kenai Leotie Sandoval 
"Our little bird."
1997-2010
On the back, Sitka had bought two pictures to be placed there.  One was simply Kenai, sitting up high in the willow tree.  It was a handsome view of his face and how his smile had softened his cheeks. 
The other was a picture Kenai had kept by his bed.  It was him and Wiley in the blackberry groves. Wiley was on Kenai's shoulders, in one had he held a large bouquet of blue wild flowers and in the other was a gator skinned pouch. 
Kenai's face was sticky and covered in the dark berry juice, his smile so broad and happy that the boys eyes were slightly squinted.
It had been his favorite.

"Shit, daddy, put me down." Breccan stammered out through his tears. "You'll hurt yourself." He hadn't even heard the man coming until he was swept off of the ground. He didn't want his father to hurt himself just trying to make him feel better. "A lot of shit just happened tonight, daddy." He gave in then, pressing his face into the crook of his father's neck. He didn't often call the man daddy, only when he truly needed him. "Think I could lay in your room with you, tonight? Then you wouldn't have to hold me here."

Wiley turned at the sound of the newcomer, his now heightened hearing allowing him to hear the man coming from nearly a mile away. He had just been bitten a few nights ago. He should have known better to be out alone in the woods. He'd been trying to find crocodile's swamp again, though he had been unsuccessful. And now he was a werewolf and he despised it, because Kenai had wanted to be one so desperately, just so they could mate. And now he wasn't here to mate with.
"It's me." He confirmed to Denahi, only glancing at the man before slumping back down beside the tree, letting the dull ache in his chest completely consume him. He wondered if he would ever stop hurting.
It had only been five years, but Wiley looked so different now. Of course, he was older, but it was more than that. His eyes weren't as bright, there were no more laugh lines on his cheeks from smiling so often, even his blonde curls seemed looser and lifeless.
"You can come sit if you want." After Kenai's death, he had wanted so desperately to hate the man for lying to them, for telling them the wolves wouldn't harm them. But as he got older, he realized that Kenai would never have wanted that. He loved his crocodile and his Kwanita, he wouldn't want them to hate each other. "I don't normally see you here."
Every year Wiley found himself at the tree at midnight with his jar of jam. Often, he'd fall asleep there, curled around the base of the tree. He would wake at dawn and leave and when he returned the next year, the jam would be gone. He hoped Sitka had been the one to receive them all.