Anywhere But Here

Rick thought it would be a normal day. He got up, he had slept in his room that night, after Alan had played with him until he was finished. Something didnt seem quite right, Alan didnt seem as though he was as aroused as he usual but Rick shook it off, the man was probably tired or something. Alan was strange like that.
Nope. Rick thought nothing of it, it was all normal.
He got up, brushed his teeth, his hair, and then lazily made his way down stairs for break fast, hearing Alan in the kitchen like he normally did, also the usual aroma of his bacon and eggs wasnt in the air.
He didnt worry about it.
Rick didnt even worry when he finally got down to the kitchen, to find Alan just standing there. He looked deep in thought.
Rick wondered with he was thinking.
But he was sure it was fine.
It was always fine, Alan made sure of that for him.
Always.
Right?
Nothing was wrong...
Nothing...

Alan was deep in thought. There had been a lot on his mind. Well, there always was, but especially lately. He loved Rick, he really did. but the boy was simply getting to be too... old. It just wasn't the same as it had been when he was younger...
He'd planned on making breakfast but it had just completely flew from his mind. Only now did he realize he'd been so busy thinking that he hadn't made anything. He immediately stood, heading for the fridge and getting out what he needed, starting on the food and making himself some coffee, hoping it would get him out of his head for a while.
"Sorry, running a bit late this morning..." Alan said, his voice calm like normal but there was just a slight edge to it. "Sleep well?" He raised an eyebrow as he sipped his coffee. His voice just didn't hold the same caring tone as usual this morning...

Rick stared at him a moment, Alan's voice playing over and over in his head. Something was different about it...
A;an was probably just tired, thats all, Rick assured himself, taking a seat at the table.
"It was okay I guess, normal." He let his eyes find Alan's, and he gave a thankful smile as the smell of the cooking food reached him.
"Thank you."
He was uneasy....
But it was alright.
Alan made sure of it.

"That's good..." Alan nodded, cooking in silence for a while before the food was finished. He made two plates, sitting one in front of Alan, along with some silverware before he did the same for himself. However, his own portion was much smaller. He always fed Rick well, wanting him to be fully nourished. And today, he himself was feeling quite sick in his stomach. Or maybe it was that gnawing in the back of his mind, that part of him itching to go back to the children's park where he'd been spending quite a lot of time lately, observing the children that played there, determining if any of them seemed fit to be his newest toy.
But no... Rick was here to stay. He'd told the boy that, promised him.
But the small children all looked so inviting...
And he was off again in his mind, conflicting arguments going back and forth.
It was a bit creepy how he sat on one of the benches at the nearby park, just watching kids, sometimes for hours on end even. It wasn't unlike a teenager looking for their newest crush. They found someone to crush on and for a while, that person was the one and only thing on their mind. But then, after a while, the old crush got boring, simply losing the excitement. So they found a new person and the cycle continued. That was how Alan worked, just with children.
He was silent for nearly twenty minutes, not touching a bite of his food, again not noticing as he lost track of the time.
Finally, he managed to snap out of his thoughts, having made his decision.
"Rick, I need to ask you something." He spoke up.

Rick had been staring at him the entire time. He was used to Alan making conversation over there breakfast. The man always wanted to talk, always wanted to feel close with Rick it seemed like. The boy was beginning to feel a churning bout of worry in his stomach as he watched Alan, until the man finally spoke.
"Course Alan..." Rick's voice was soft, gentle...
It was caring.
He did love Alan, had loved him since he had been a child. And nothing would change that, nothing COULD change that.
Rick was partly afraid, Alan had never acted like this...
Distant.
It was unnerving.

Alan paused another moment, making sure to word this the right way as to not upset his younger lover.
"Well... I've been thinking and... how would you feel about someone else coming to stay with us?" His voice was back to normal now, a bit nervous but it sounded like usual. Soothing. Perfect to convince children to do anything he wanted.
There was a particular little boy who was always at the park alone, every single day. He was adorable. Never not messy chestnut brown hair, big brown puppy dog eyes, a smile with crater like dimples...
Very similar to how Rick looked when he was around five or six... same as his father before him.

Rick raised a brow, his eyes scanning Alan over as his mind raced.
Someone coming to stay?
"Well...Like what do you mean?" The boy leaned back into his chair, crossing his arms protectively over his chest.
"Your being odd...What are you going on about in your head Alan?"
Rick didnt understand...
And being that he didnt understand...he was a bit afraid...

"I mean... this sweet little boy always seems to be alone at the park... I'm sure he could use a place to stay, don't you think?" Alan said softly. "A new person to... play with." He stopped yet again. "I think you're old enough now, you could even play with him if you'd like." The terms he used and the tone he spoke in was so misleading to what he was actually meaning...

But Rick was so used to Alan by now. As a child he understood what Alan wanted, he always told Rick in the most delicate ways. The child didnt understand a lot but he knew what Alan wanted.
Just as he did now.
"You want," Rick paused, analyzing the situation, and choosing his words carefully, trying to expel the feeling of dread from his body.
"To bring a child to this home, and....touch him?" Rick's head tilted to the side as he spoke, his eyes clouded with troubled thoughts, "And you want me to touch him too?"
The thought was sickening.
"Alan, I dont think thats....A good idea." Junior tried to speak as Alan would, calmly.

"And why not?" He raised a brow, taking a sip of his coffee which he just noticed had gotten awfully cold by now. "This is how I found you and look how well that turned out. Of course, I won't force you to play with him if you don't want to, I just figured you might enjoy it. A nice change. But that part is completely up to you. I think he's rather good looking." Alan shrugged, seeming much more calm. Calmer than he had been in weeks. He just needed to get that off his mind...

"Alan!" Rick's eyes widened the tiniest bit. He was coming undone infront of the other mans eyes. He leaned over the table, looking deep, lovingly into Alan's eyes.
"Because you want to go ABDUCT a child! Thats not okay! And-And!" Rick sputtered momentarily before continuing, "Its WEIRD! Im not touching a baby like that! And you cant! Remember? You have me...." His voice trailed off into nothing as the reality sank in.
Alan wanted someone else.
Another boy.
A baby boy....

Alan didn't like that it hurt when Rick called him weird... he didn't like it at all. He knew... deep down he knew how fucked up he truly was but there was no fixing it so no point in dwelling on it either.
"Then our whole relationship is weird, Rick. And he's not a baby, he looks nearly six years old!" The man exclaimed, as if that made the whole thing entirely okay. His voice softened at the next part though. "And I'll still have you baby... you're my big boy... I love you." He pressed his lips softly to Rick's, lingering there sweetly for a moment before withdrawing. "I can have you both... you be my big boy, I'm just going to teach him the ropes." He smiled lightly, his eyes completely innocent.

Rick was a bit dazed by the kiss, Alan hadnt been so sweet in such a long time...
He wanted to just melt...It Alan would go back to loving him like that...
But no, he couldnt do this.
He wouldnt.
"Alan, baby..." His voice was weak as he tried to convince the man this was not going to happen.
"Look, A six year old is still a baby. Its not fair to do that to them, they have no say so. And...You cant...That would be cheating....I dont want to share you, and I dont want you hurting any children..." He stroked Alan's cheek lightly, his bottom lip tucked in between his teeth as he waited for the man to understand.

"Rick, I'm not going to hurt him..." Alan blinked. "I never hurt a child..." He frowned deeply. He truly didn't think he did anything wrong. "After all, this is the same thing I did with you Rick.."

Rick took a deep breath, shaking his head slowly.
"Alan....you did hurt me...." His voice was soft, as not to alarm the man. "You just...I never got to be with my parents...I-I....I lost my virginity so young...Im still tender about being touched, I just...Its weird, its debilitating...I feel dirty, like....Like a whore....like its my fault I was touched like that and just....Anyways..." Junior's body trembled softly as he spoke, sitting himself back up and stared back at Alan. "You cant do this...you just....no Alan..." He spoke as if he was telling a toddler he couldnt have any candy.

Alan looked devastated, you could see his entire world crumble in the look in his eyes.
"Then if I hurt you so much, maybe I should bring that boy here and let you go on home, huh?" He simply turned away, standing and snatching both their plates quickly, walking them to the sink, willing himself not to cry.

Rick blinked lightly, his brows furrowing as he felt his heart drop into his stomach.
"You know Alan....You..."
Alan had just told him to leave...
He wanted to bring another person home instead...
"You are hurting me...You never loved me...You just...Wanted a toy...I see," Rick stood slowly, his hair sliding back away from him as he did so. His heart ached...so bad...
"I guess....I....Ill go..."
What home?
This was the only home he had ever known...

"Maybe you should if you're so unhappy here." Alan shook his head. "And don't you dare tell me I never loved you, Rick." He gave the boy everything he could ever want... He didn't know why it never seemed to be good enough...

Rick let out a menacing growl, slamming his hands down on the table as he had his little tantrum.
"Alan! I was just being HONEST with you! I never said I wasnt happy here! And you dont even know what love is if your telling ME to go some place else, just so you can bring a small child into this house and RAPE him!" Rick's hands whipped around wildly as he ranted, he looked so much like his father.
A spitting image.

"Well then why don't you listen to me and just GO!" Alan exclaimed, his eyes filled with pain more than anything else. "If I'm hurting you then leave!"

Rick stood in a huff, stomping his foot like the child he was.
"FINE! I WILL!"
His eyes were full of tears, hot like fire as the rolled down his cheeks, leaving burning trails of salty reminders of his pain.
He was gone then, running up the stairs as fast as his legs would carry him.

"Good! Go be with that little slut you were sexting that you loved so much!" Alan had never gotten over that really. He still felt Rick loved the boy more than him... It hurt.

"SHUT UP ALAN!! I GAVE HIM UP FOR YOU!" Rick screeched as he packing his belongings, trying to calm himself down.
He hated fighting....
He only took his clothes, and a few things Alan had given him that meant the most, such as a bear when he was little, a necklace, and a few love notes.
He was slow making his way down the stairs, trying to give Alan time...
Hoping Alan would stop him.

But Alan was not planning on it... he wanted the boy to stay, so much but... if he was really hurting Rick like the boy said he was, he couldn't go on with it. He'd never loved anything as much as he loved Rick...
"Well now you don't have to! Good for you!" He snapped, putting his head in his hands.

Rick sighed softly, he had his hand on the door, his shoulders quaking with harsh sobs that were fighting to force themselves out.
He turned to look back at Alan over his shoulder, shaking his head slowly and watching a few tears as they dripped from the end of his nose and landed on the carpet.
"I only wanted you...." Rick breathed out softly. He had given Jude up for Alan, he knew he wanted to be with Alan more...
And now....
"I-I...."
It hurt to think he was already replaced...And he wasnt even gone yet...
"I-Ill mi-miss you..." Rick's voice splintered as more tears spilled down his face. "I-I love Y-You A-Alan..."
And with that he pulled the door open, pulling his one suit case out with him.