Let's Get Lost

"Awh, naw sugar." Rigby's accent was much more pronounced when he was inebriated. "An even if ah was, ah think they can wait." He was mesmerized by the boys fiery red hair, the way it shimmered in the low lights of the bar. "You look pretty low on yarself darlin', what're you doin' 'ere by yar lonesome?" Bane had his heart breaking, but the alcohol had numbed him, and Britt was so gorgeous.
Besides, its not like Bane would care anyways.
He had Danny.

Even in his drunken state, Britt found himself flirting back with this man, charmed by his Southern accent.
"I just came here to get fucking wasted." Britt admitted before giving a small smirk. "But I sure am glad I stumbled into your booth, cowboy."
Rigby wasn't Britt's normal type but he couldn't deny the man was handsome. Rigby was the definition of attractive.

"Really now? Es' that so?" Rigby's eyebrows arched with pleasant surprise. "Because ah was jus' waitin' on someone like you ta come sit down." The boy really was gorgeous. Rigby had always appreciated red hair and sharp cheeks.
"Mah names Rigby Rollerson. An' who might you be, sugar?"

"Britt Vause. Pleasure to meet you." Britt smiled, eyeing Rigby up and down quite eagerly, like a predator looking over its prey. "I don't beat around the bush much, how'd you like to get out of here?" This was all he needed to forget Sawyer, or so he thought. Rigby would remind him that other men could make him feel just as good, just like Sawyer did.

"Ah'd like thah very much." Rigby gave the boy a broad grin, his cheeks pink with his buzz. He was much different than Sawyer. His skin was a reddish tan color from long days spent working a ranch, unlike Sawyer naturally dark complexion. His hair was a sun bleached blonde and he had a light spread of freckles across his nose and cheeks. When he walked his broad shoulders were always squared, as though he owned all the confidence the world had to offer.
Sawyer's shoulders were more relaxed unless his was angry, and he always seemed to be meandering unlike Rigby who strode with purpose in every step. The southern man seemed to have his life together aside from his troubles with Bane. Sawyer was still only a teenager.
"Ah'll pay on the way out." Rigby stood, offering Britt his arm. "Shall we?"

Everything about Rigby was completely arousing to Britt, though he did find most things arousing when he was this drunk. He stood, slipping his arm through Rigby's and allowing the man to pay for him and lead him out of the bar.

The next morning, Britt woke with his body still entangled with Rigby's, his head pounding with the effects of all the alcohol he'd consumed the previous night. He could still remember every minute of their activities and he couldn't say he regretted it, not at all.
"I'm gonna need you to wake your ass up, cowboy." Britt murmured even as he was still laying atop of the man's toned chest.

"Ah'm already up, Darlin'" Rigby was simply the kind who enjoyed cuddling after sex. "Ah gotta go on in ta work 'ere in 'bout five minutes. Ah was jus' enjoying myself a little more before ah had ta leave." The southern man pushed himself up, a tired but satisfied smile on his face. "Ah reckon ah'll see you 'round sometime?"

"Hope so." Britt smirked tiredly, forcing himself to roll off of the other man. "Thanks for keeping me company last night, cowboy."

"'Et was my pleasure, Darlin'." Rigby offered the boy a wide smile, already moving around the room in an attempt to locate his shirt. It didn't take him long to find his clothes and get dressed, but Rigby still lingered by the door. "Really though, ah'll see ya sometime. We can catch up again." It had been nice to forget about Bane for a night, not worry about him being cuddled up next to Danny.
Before he left, Rigby discretely laid a card with his number on the boys night stand, hoping that maybe Britt would find it and call him up sometime.

Britt didn't notice the card. If he did, he definitely would have moved it before Sawyer came over again. He wasn't exactly guilty about what he'd done, he wasn't trying to hide it, but he certainly wasn't going to flaunt it in Sawyer's face either.
He headed off to the shower, simply washing off before slipping into one of the t-shirts Sawyer left around and he enjoyed lounging in.
He hated that he still was tempted to call Sawyer over. Rigby had been supposed to snap him out of this, but it didn't seem to have worked.

Britt didn't need to call Sawyer, the young wolf was already up and headed to his apartment. He wasn't sure why, but he'd felt sick last night. Sleep had been impossible. His wolf had been raging. Sawyer had no clue what was wrong, but he felt the intense need to see Britt. That always calmed him down.
Sawyer was knocking on the door by nine, having only missed Rigby by an hour and thirty minutes.

"Too fucking early for this!" Britt called out as he forced himself out of bed and to the front door, swinging it open. "Hey fuckhead, I was still in bed. Come lay with me or some shit." He took the man's hand and tugged him inside.

Sawyer couldn't help but grin at the sight of the boy wearing his shirt. Just laying eyes on Britt and knowing he was alright had been enough to put Sawyer at ease and quill his worries of last night.
But as Britt took his hand and lead him into the bedroom, he was overwhelmed by the stench of sex. Another man had been in the house....
Sawyer felt dread curling into his stomach but the young wolf swallowed it down. He couldn't just jump to conclusions...Britt wouldn't do that to him.
Right?
"Did uhh....Did Ajax have thomeone over lath night?" Sawyer couldn't bring himself to touch Britt's bed. He could swear that was the main source of the smell.
Britt's bed.
Not Ajax's.
Sawyer closed his eyes and prayed, his breath hitched as he awaited an answer.

"Maybe, not sure." Britt shrugged his shoulders as he sat down on the bed, waiting for Sawyer to join him. He knew the man could tell something was different. Britt wasn't exactly hiding it, but he wasn't going to admit to what he'd done unless Sawyer directly asked him. "I'm a pretty heavy sleeper. He could have had someone over and I wouldn't have known."

"Yeah,  okay. But what about you, Britt?"  Sawyer's breathing was uneven with dread, his hands clenching into fists as he realized Britt was beating around the bush with him.  The boy wasn't stupid.   He knew Sawyer didn't give a fuck about Ajax.
Sawyer only wanted to know why his bed smelled of sex and another man.
And then his gaze crossed the bedside table,  landing on the small scrap of paper sitting there.
The young wolf picked it up, his jaw falling slack as he read over the words.
Rigby Rollerson
759-236-0386
Call me sometime.
Sawyer let out a trembling whimper as the knowledge rushed up to greet him.  There was no getting around it now, no hope that he was wrong.
Britt was with another man.
"Do you really fucking expect me to crawl into bed with you now, Britt?"  The young wolf was shifting without even realizing it. He could hardly breath.  "When did he leave, huh? We're you even going to fucking tell me or what?"  He had said that Britt was his galaxy before, and now he was proven true.  Knowing the boy had cheated, given his time to another man....
It was as though the stars were falling from the sky, his entire galaxy swallowed up by a black hole.
When Sawyer finally met the boys gaze, his eyes were full of anguished tears.
"I fucking didn't thleep lath night you bathard! I  wath fucking mithing you! And you were on Rigby'th dick! Why?"  Sawyer's clawed fingers closed around the front of Britt's shirt.
His shirt.
Sawyer  wretched the boy from the bed, shoving back until he was against the wall, the same place they'd been the first time they made love. "Tell me now,  you fucking coward! Admit it to my damned face!"
Please tell me I'm wrong.
please.
Sawyer didn't think he could handle it. Not when it was Britt.
Anyone but Britt.

"Put me the hell down, I'm not scared of you." Britt sighed heavily as he leaned his head against the wall. "You wanna know why? Because I was drunk and he was fucking cute. That's it. I'm fucking stupid. Now can't you just like take out your anger by screwing me and forget this shit ever happened?" He hated seeing the tears in the man's eyes. He wanted them to stop.

"That'th it?" Sawyer was so shocked by the boys words that his hold completely dropped away. He was left stunned and hollow, Britts words echoing through his mind. "You think I can really juth forget about thith and fuck you now?" His eyes were stuck on a hickey Rigby had left on Britt's neck, his throat closing up on him as the image seared into his head.
"No. You thouldn't even be wearing my fucking thirt." Sawyer was shaking his head, his hands trembling as he clenched them into fists, over and over again. "How can that be it to you? I don't fucking understand!" The young wolf lashed out, shoving Britt once more. He could feel the tears, hot and uncomfortable as they pricked his eyes. He only ever cried for Britt anymore. He'd stopped crying for himself long ago.
"I-I know you don't like hearing it, but I fucking love you! How could you juth throw me away like that? Fucking throw uth away! And then expect me to fucking be okay with it?" He suddenly felt so weak, as though his entire soul had up and left him. "I know you're not fucking good with relationthipth and thit but I thought you at leath felt thomething for me! You even thaid tho! But then you go and do thith thit and now....Fuck thith." No one but Britt had this much power over him.
Sawyer hated that he was abusing it.
"You take thith fucking paper, and you fucking thove it up your ath. I gave you all, and you couldn't even give me a little conthideration." Sawyer shoved the crumpled scrap of paper into Britt's chest, his green eyes smoldering with hurt confusion and self loathing.
He could hardly even blame the boy. He had been the one stupid enough to think they had something.

"I was fucking drunk. Fuck off, Thawyer." He practically spat the words at the man, averting his gaze as he shoved back, pushing Sawyer far enough away that he wasn't shoved against the wall anymore. He took a seat on the bed again. "I don't fucking feel good about it, but I'm not going to beg for forgiveness because you're still going to be pissed at me even if I do so what's the goddamn point?" He let out a frustrated groan as he laid down on the bed, glancing up at his lover. "Quit talking to me like I'm some fucking slut who's using you. I made a mistake, alright? So you can go to hell."

"Well, maybe you thould quit acting like a thut who'th uthing me, Brittany!" Normally Britt's mocking his lisp wouldn't have bothered his as much, but the boy had just cheated on him and he was so confused as to why.
Maybe some of it was his lisp. Or the way he always showed up uninvited because he thought Britt wouldn't mind. Maybe this was Britts way of trying to get away from him.
He didn't seem sorry. Or as though this were even a big deal to him.
But it was tearing Sawyer all the way down to his foundation, rocking the boy at his core.
Britt was his heart.
And Sawyer felt as though he were breaking.
"I'll thee you when I get to hell. Until then, im out." Sawyer turned on the boy, making his way back to the door. "You juth fucking know that im the beth you'll ever have. No one could fucking love you like I do." The door slammed so hard that it rattled on its hinges.

"No, you don't get to damn storm out of here!" Britt snapped, flying off of the bed and swinging his bedroom door open to grab Sawyer by his shirt before he could reach the front door. "I'm not using you you fucking prick! You know I care about you, I fucking told you I did. I made a fucking mistake and now that's it? I thought I was the one who didn't know what love was but shit, Sawyer, if you're going to bail on me that easily, maybe you don't know what it is either." Britt knew he was in the wrong here, but he couldn't bring himself to beg Sawyer to stay. He could never admit that he was wrong, he had to find a way to blame the other person somehow.

"Let me fucking tell you thomething you athole! Love ith me feeling like abtholute thit lath night but not coming over here becauthe I felt like you needed your thpace! But you know what? Ath pathetic ath it soundth, that'th all I fucking wanted! Juth to thee your damn fathe!"  Sawyer shoved Britt's hands away from him, unable to stand the thought that he had been touching Rigby only hours before.  "And now I know that I felt tho damn thitty lath night becauthe you were with thomeone elthe! My fucking wolf felt it!"  He hadn't realized it at the time.  He'd only know he felt as though his inside were rotting out.
"And then I get here, and I wath tho damn proud to thee you! And you take me to your bed room and want me to lay with you! How in the fuck could you do that thit! Let me touch that damn bed after another man has fucked you on it! He left fucking markth on you, damnit! And you're thupposed to be mine!"  He had thought he'd gotten rid of the tears, but he could feel them again.  They seemed to fall whenever he imagined Rigby touching the boy he loved.  Getting to feel him and fucking have time with him.
"It thould've been me, damn you! Not him! Me! And you act like it'th juth thome mithake! Not even a big deal!"  Sawyer shoved Britt again, his eyes alight with distress. "But im fucking dying! I gave you all this fucking power over me and now your fucking me up! Its becauthe I love you damnit! But I dont want to anymore! Not if this is what love has fucking brought me."  The young wolf let out a harsh sob, unable to stand the sight of the red and blue hickey's trailing Britt's neck.  "I loved you and it'th fucking ruined me! Tho don't you tell me about love! You dont know thit about it! Fucking whore!" Sawyer whimpered so pitifully he hardly even sounded mad anymore, just heartbroken. "I hate you, you know that? Thlut!" He was like a child throwing a temper tantrum, unable to do anything with the ache in his chest and the way his heart had completely fallen into his stomach, he was lashing out.

Britt hated being called a whore or a slut more than anything. Because it hurt. But when he was hurt, he didn't cry. He lashed out instead.
"Yeah well I fucking hate you too." He snapped, his fist coming down hard on the man's jaw. "What do you want me to fucking say, Sawyer? I'm fucking sorry! There's nothing else I can do! I can't fucking go back in time and change it and you're insane if you think I'm going to beg you for forgiveness. I don't know what else to do!"

"Would you though? If you had the chanthe? I don't want a fucking apology! You can thick thothe right up your ath!" Sawyer's breath was ragged, his chest heaving with emotion. "I juth want to know it wont happen again damnit! You act like it'th nothing! But fuck Britt! It'th everything to me!" His lisp was more pronounced in his desperation. "You are fucking everything to me! I cant thare you!"

"I can't promise shit because you know I'm a fuck up." Britt spoke simply, trying to lower his voice. "But I was just fucking drunk and scared and the fucker was in my damn booth. I wasn't planning to do shit." He muttered softly, turning away from his lover.

"Yeah, well. Next time call me. I'll fucking remove a bitch from your booth." Sawyer reached out for Britt, pulling the boy around and catching him by the chin. He made sure that Britt was looking into his eyes before gently prodding one of the hickeys on his neck. "I'd do anything to keep thith from happening again. You're mine. No one elthe get'th to touch you like that...mark you..." The young wolf couldn't bare the sight of someone else's love bites on his lover. His wolf was clawing at his rib cage even now as he looked at the boy.