New Parents.

" Well thank you, Zachariah."  Roman pressed the boy close, knowing he was blessed to have his mate.  "Sorry about Trever...But you know..." He couldn't deny how much he detested the man in the first place, and to trust Trever with his child was...impossible.

"I know." Zach nodded in agreement, merely smiling at his lover. Honestly, he wasn't sure he'd even want Trever to be the godfather. He didn't want the two of them to have too much influence over the child. "But Trever will be allowed to see it sometimes... right?" He sounded almost nervous as he batted his eyelashes, knowing Roman couldn't resist his doe eyes.

"Of course. Just...As long as one of us are there to watch out for our pup." Roman was already fiercely protective of his unborn child, and he could only imagine what it would be like when he was finally able to hold it in his arms. "We always compromise, Zach. I need your happiness just as much as mine."

"Thank you!" Zach grinned, moving to wrap his arms around the man's neck, pulling himself back up for a kiss. "Man, I can't wait to see the little thing." He could only hope there were no problems during his pregnancy or birth.

"I just want to hold it in my arms. " Roman murmured almost dreamily. " Damn, you're making all my dreams come true." He never thought he would get this lucky, to be so in love with his first child on the way, it was pure bliss.

"You've already made mine come true, so now we're even." Zach grinned lightly up at the man, kissing him softly.

Jordan meanwhile, had quietly crept out of the room. He had put on the happy face and congratulated Roman because he was happy for the man, truly. But he couldn't stay in there for much longer. He had crept out of the room when no one was watching because he didn't want anyone to follow him. He really didn't want to ruin Roman and Zach's big day but he just couldn't keep the happy face on. Not when it should have been he and Chandler bringing the pack its first pup. He knew he should be happier for Roman, after all the man had done for him, but he couldn't help but feel almost hateful. He was envious of what Zach and Roman would have in nine months, something he had lost before he'd even had the chance to appreciate it.

Chandler had been reading the boys thoughts ever since informing him of Zach and Roman's news, knowing it would hit his lover hard.  He himself had been pained to hear it, but he couldn't deny Zach his joy. Losing a child had brought a weight down upon Chandler and nothing he did made it go away, so he simply learned to live with it. He was on his feet to follow as soon as the thought to sneak away crossed Jordan's mind, following the coyote out of the room and snagging his hand.  Chandler lead the boy up to his room, shutting the door softly before moving to lean against it. "You feeling okay tenderfoot?"

Jordan sighed softly as he glanced to his lover.
"I just needed a minute is all." He shook his head lightly. "I didn't want to make a scene." He murmured as he stepped forward to place his arms around Chandler's waist, leaning his head on the man's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Awh, come on padfoot, you know im alright."  He had to be, for Jordan.  He owed the boy that, after all being he was the one who lost their baby. Chandler pressed a kiss to Jordan's temple, arms moving up to envelope the coyote.

"You don't have to be strong for me." Jordan reassured, pressing himself closer into his lover. "It's okay if you're hurting." He could smell it on him. And he knew Chandler could hear his thoughts, hear the bitter envy along with the constant painful wonderings of what their child would be like.

"I know it is..."  Chandler trailed off, fingers idly stroking Jordan's back. "Im just so damn tired of hurting tenderfoot."  The man shook his head mournfully. "Our baby....It was going to be a fighter, just like us...But...."  He was already threatening to fall apart, it felt wrong to talk about their child.  It never had a chance.

Jordan couldn't help but cling onto the man tighter, hugging him close. He too was tired of hurting all the time. It was a constant weight pressing down on his shoulders, threatening to crush him.
"I know it's terrible of me to be like this but... it's so hard to be happy for them." He knew it was selfish to only think of his own happiness, but he figured he might as well speak it out loud since Chandler could hear it in his head anyway. He honestly didn't know how he would be able to be around the couple like this. And it would only be more painful once they actually had the child...

"Believe me Jordan, I understand how you feel completely."  Chandler murmured softly, lips brushing against the boys neck. "Its damn unfair....But the worlds unfair baby." He rocked them slowly, trying to comfort Jordan in any way possible.  "And we can always try again, Tenderfoot..."

"You think so?" Jordan spoke softly, glancing up at his lover. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to risk trying again. Maybe they were just not ready for a baby yet. But maybe someday...

"Of course I damn think so Jordan. Me and you are going to have all the babies you want."  Chandler leaned back enough to see his lovers face, giving the boy  a promising smile. "Im going to take good damn care of you tender foot, don't worry.  Some things just aren't meant to be....Im sure there is some reason for us losing our first...But things can only get better babe.  The only way to go is up."

Jordan leaned in, kissing Chandler deeply as he hugged him even tighter, almost too tight being that he still didn't know his own strength very well.
"I love you." He could only smile at the man softly, the pain almost fading for a moment. "We'll make beautiful babies." He hummed softly.

"We will.  I mean, they lucked out on eye color." Chandler snickered softly, reaching to gently caress Jordan's cheek. "I like your shades of brown better though.  They are like the Earth fresh after rain." The man took a moment to admire his lovers eyes. "Unlike me.  My eyes are only brown because im so full of shit."

"Well I happen to love your eyes." Jordan murmured. "But I love your damn smile more than anything." He couldn't help but smile just at the thought of it. Chandler's face was normally cold and pissed off. But when he really smiled wide, he appeared so giddy, almost childish and Jordan could never get enough of it.

"I look goofy as hell when I smile, what are you getting out of that?"  The man smirked at his lover. "Ehh, doesn't matter. You lived in the forest most of your life, so I probably do look good for your standards."  He teased, peppering kisses onto the boys face.

"Exactly. You look goofy, not so damn bitchy all the time." Jordan teased, gently kissing the mans lips. He knew they should probably get back before they made a scene when someone noticed their absence, but he didn't want to leave this spot. He was comfortable back here in chandler's arms.

Chandler rolled his eyes at the boy, grunting softly. "Our baby doesn't need to look goofy like me though.  You're perfect. I want mini Jordan's running around, my padfoots." The man managed a smile at the thought.

"Maybe someday we'll have one of each." Jordan murmured, moving to sway back and forth in his lover's arms as if there were some sort of song playing for them to dance to.

"I could handle that."  Chandler hummed softly, his lips brushing against Jordan's cheek as he moved with the boy.  "Forever with you sounds nice, tenderfoot." He wanted a life with Jordan, but at this point he had to worry.
Jordan had yet to hear his heart beat as  a mate.
Chandler pressed the boy closer,stomach dropping at the thought.  He knew worrying about it wouldn't change anything, but he couldn't help it. What if their baby hadn't made it because they weren't meant to mate? What if Jordan was mean to make babies what someone else?

"Your smell just changed to worried." Jordan glanced up at the man and frowned. "What's the matter?" He spoke gently as he grasped Chandler's hands in his own.

"Nothing padfoot, chill out." Chandler averted his gaze, unable to look the boy in his eyes. His hands held tight to Jordan's though, as if he were afraid of letting go. "Just having a hard time and shit is all."