From Eden

Jesse paused, his smile faded as he pulled back from their kiss.
"Finn..." He murmured, hating to end their happy moment. "It's... it could be a wolf like me. You saw what Zach went through..." He felt quite sick to think of Finn hurting like that. Finn was his mate, so fragile in his eyes.

Finn merely rolled his eyes at his lover, waving the man off.  "Don't talk stupid shit to me.  I  was here, I  fucking saw.  So what?"  He wasn't concerned about the pain, he could handle that.  Especially if it was for their child.  "The damn  kid will just fucking be strong. Thats a good thing, Jesse."  He had never considered his mate not wanting their child .  "I wouldn't mind a little fuck mutt like you."

"But Finn..." Jesse frowned deeply as he took his lover's face in his hands. "I know you're tough but you don't get it. It could kill you. It's not you being weak, it could kill any human. You're not meant to carry a wolf inside of you." He sighed, his stomach twisting at the thought of what they would have to do.

"Hey," Finn's voice was sharp, his eyes narrowing on Jesse as he registered what the man was saying, the way it sounded. "Aren't you the fuck head that said if it was meant to fucking be, it would be?" His fingers curled around Jesse's wrist, pulling the mans hands away from his face, grip tightening as though threatening his mate to continue. "Shit happens for a fucking reason. I was meant to have your damn kids! You said so yourself with the mate crap."

"But if it's going to kill you I fucking take it back, it's not meant to be!" Jesse spoke roughly but he wasn't yelling at Finn, almost yelling at himself really. "I won't let you die just to have a damn kid, and the kid might not even make it either!"

Finn felt as though Jesse had struck him, all the air rushing from his lungs as he listened to his mates reasoning. It felt as though it took him forever to find his tongue, his heart aching in distress. He wasn't sure how to deal with Jesse's rejection, his mind flashing back to the day he had found out he was pregnant with Cameron. He had cursed Jeremy to hell, threatened to leave him, all because he had wanted to abort their child. Only now could he truly understand the pain he had caused Jeremy, his insides twisting violently with guilt and despair."Jesse, i'd hate to fucking have to kill you, but if you don't back the fuck off...." He left the threat hanging, his gaze almost accusing on Jesse. "Holy fuck, you're supposed to be the happy one here, bitch!" Finn had never imagined he would ever be having such a conversation with his mate. "Im not dying, the kid will fucking be healthy, so I damn demand that you suck it up and smile, fuck head."

"Stop saying you'll be okay like you know it for sure because you don't Finn! Zach almost didn't fucking make it! You're not meant to carry a goddamn wolf! Everything isn't going to be alright so stop saying it is!" Jesse was growling, on the verge of shifting, eyes glowing red. He took a deep breath then to calm himself, looking his mate in the eyes. "I can't lose you, Finnick. I can't live without you, you know that."

Finn's stare never wavered, not threatened by Jesse in the slightest. He couldn't back down on this, knowing how much he would regret it if he allowed their child to be lost. "What in the bloody fuck makes you think that I'll fucking stay with you if we lose this kid? You don't have a choice, Jesse. The bastard gets a fighting chance, end of damn story." The boy reached out to gently run his fingertips over Jesse's face, hoping to calm the werewolf if it was possible. "Fucking work with me here."

"Finn you know I want a kid too but not if it's at the risk of losing you. You're my life now, Finn, do you know what it would do to me if I lost you? Hell, I just found you not that long ago! I can't give you up already. You're my fucking happiness now..." He reached out to stroke the boy's cheek, hoping if he was gentle he would have a better chance of talking him into getting rid of the kid.

"Well shits going to get very fucking happy around here because you're going to have a little bitch version of me running around. If we're damn lucky it'll take after your ass though. " Finn was brushing Jesse's touches off, his jaw set in determination. "Don't fucking keep fighting me on this, Jess. You're damn going to lose. So just give it the fuck up." Normally Finn loved seeing Jesse's eyes flash to scarlet, finding himself aroused by the alpha and his power. But now the boy found himself willing to do almost anything to get his mates natural eyes back.
Almost anything.

"Finn I can't fucking handle this." Jesse was back to growling now, not used to not getting his own way. He slammed a fist against the shower wall, struggling to keep his wolf under control. "You're not having it." He spoke firmly although he had a feeling commanding Finn to do things would not work very well.

"Ill damn do whatever the fuck I want, Jesse!" Finn was seething now, snapping at Jesse and shoving him harshly in his rage. "And if you can't handle that, its your mother fucking problem, not mine!" He was itching to strike his mate, teeth bared in warning. Finn never failed to be hostile when feeling trapped, and even though he trusted Jesse, he was uncomfortable with his back pressed into the shower wall, boxed in with his mate.

Jesse could sense the boy's discomfort and this was what made him force himself to keep calm, backing away from his lover. Finn was so nervous about being trapped in here with him so angry, he was a monster.
He didn't know what to say, only stepping out of the tub and drying himself, forcing his wolf back inside.

Finn took a deep breath as his mate left him alone in the shower, falling back against the wall and allowing himself to slide down onto the floor as the weight bearing down on his shoulders became too much for him to handle. This was definitely not what he had planned, and it left him aching to think of what a failure his attempt at romance had been. He should have known that blissful happiness couldn't last forever. He found himself wanting it back though, a lump threatening to form in his throat as he pushed himself up. "Jesse, come the fuck back here. Nobody damn told your fuck headed ass that you could leave!" Finn reached for his mates hand, fingers curling around him almost desperately.

"I'm not coming back until I calm down." Jesse informed, still facing the opposite wall. "I was fucking scaring you." And he hated himself for it. "And I can't calm down yet." He was panicking. He didn't know what he'd do if their child ended up killing Finn... He didn't want to imagine a life without his mate.

"Hah! Very fucking funny jackass." Finn stepped out of the shower, approaching Jesse and not hesitating to wind his arms tightly around the mans waist. "Im not fucking scared of you, thats a joke. Don't flatter yourself." His cheek rested against his mates back, being he wasn't nearly tall enough to actually reach the werewolfs shoulders."And don't act like you cant calm your high strung ass down, im fucking here." Normally his presence was enough, but something told him that Jesse was just trying to get away from him. "I know you're pissed and shit right now, but you'll get the fuck over it. Everything will damn work itself out."

"It won't work itself out if you die, Finn. It'll be my fault and I'll have to look the kid in the face every day and be reminded of how it took you away from me and I'm not damn prepared to do this on my own." Who the hell had he been kidding thinking he could maybe be a dad? He wasn't ready, not at all.

"You're not even giving it a fucking chance, Jesse." Finn struggled to keep himself calm, knowing that fighting with the man would only make it worse. "You just automatically assumed im going to fucking die! But Zach lived! And that bitch had twins!" He was trying to sound positive, but even he couldnt help but cringe at the mere mention of his friend and the pregnancy Zach had suffered through. The boy had been knocking on deaths door in his last trimester. "Hell Jess, it might fucking not even be a damn werewolf. What about that, dipshit? What if you're trying to get rid of a fucking healthy, human brat?"

"But what if it is a werewolf, Finn!? The chances of a human surviving a pregnancy like this is slim to none, Zach survived on sheer luck. I don't want to watch you die for the next nine months." Jesse growled softly. "I have to go Finn, I've got to clear my head or I'll end up hurting something." Something meaning Finn. And he could never live with himself if he hurt his mate.

"Oh fuck no! You can't just fucking bail out on me, shit for brains."  Finn shook his head against Jesse's back, his grip on the mans waist tightening.  "Look damnit, can't you fucking just let it go? I  mean...damn, surely you don't really want the bastard gone. I made that damn mistake already, Jesse. I never even gave Cameron a chance!" Finn had to swallow back his guilt, head bowed so he could see his stomach. "But I fucking love him so damn much, and I cant picture my shit life without him in it.  But I almost lost him, don't you damn get that? I still hate myself for it....."  Finn trailed off, his breath hot on Jesse's skin.  "Don't make the same mistakes I did, damnit. You're better than that,  fuck head."  He could tell Jesse wanted to leave him, and it only did more to rile him up. "You fucking want this. You damn know you fucking want our kid!" Finn's stomach was knotted with the feeling of rejection, his mind once more drifting back to Jeremy. He'd never stopped to consider how he was hurting the man, what his Marilyn must have felt like to look at him and hear that he didn't want their baby.

"I know I'd hate myself if I get rid of this kid but I'd still rather live with the guilt than live without you." Jesse shook his head. "Finn, you don't get it. You don't know what damn happens to wolves who've lost their mates. I can't live without you and I don't know how to make you understand that." He growled softly, dragging a clawed hand through his hair. He never wanted to become as bitter as Law and Dallas.

"You're the only mother fucker here who doesn't understand, damnit Jesse!"  Finn snarled at his lover, nails digging into the flesh of the mans abdomen.  "Im not fucking dying anytime soon, alright? Im not, so stop assuming shit! I  can take this."  He was certain that if Zach could pull off twins, he could at least manage their one. "You wont have to fucking live without me, or the kid, alright? Just fucking give me a fighting chance." The boy ducked around so he could catch a glimpse of Jesse's face,  his jaw set in determination. "Give the fucking kid a chance." Then, softer this time. "You damn know you want to."

"Don't say it like that." Jesse informed, struggling to keep his voice gentle. "Don't say you're not going to die because you damn well could and you know that... tell me you're going to fight, you're going to try to live, but don't tell me you're definitely going to make it because you don't know that. You've got to know what you're getting into." He sighed heavily, finally turning to meet his lover's gaze.

"Hey, I know full good and damn well what im getting into, Jesse." He had sat with Zach every day, watched as his bestfriend deteriorated in front of him. "That's why we can't leave any fucking room for the maybe's, alright? I gotta believe im going to make it, if not im setting myself up to fucking fail." Finn reached for Jesse's hands, bringing them up to his lips so he could kiss each knuckle. "If I fucking promise you I'll make it, then I have no fucking choice but to damn make it. I don't go back on shit. So just damn let me fucking promise."

Jesse groaned heavily, but nodded. Even in his state of despair, Finn kissing his knuckles did make him smile. His lover showing affection always meant a lot to him and it calmed him slightly, at least for the moment.
"Fine." He sighed as he moved to scoop Finn back into his arms. "I fucking love you and I want you to know it's not that I don't want this kid, I'm just worried about you. If I get to have a life with you and a beautiful baby boy or girl, I'd be the happiest man on the fucking planet." He gave a light smirk to his mate, pressing a kiss to his temple.