Fever dreams

"You're good at taking care of sick people." Jesse smirked lightly, still shivering even under the pile of blankets, but it was much better. "Thank you." He grunted softly, pressing back into the boy and trying to relax and let himself warm up. He was so lucky to have Finn as his mate.

"Oh, stop fucking spewing that shit at me!" Finn grumbled softly, his cheeks reddening as his act of kindness was brought up. He wasn't supposed to be nice or attentive for anyone but his kids, but then Jesse came along and Finn had been fucked ever since. "And I don't damn need your 'thanks.' All I want from your ass is a fucking full recovery, you damn hear me, alpha man?" His fingers were gently moving across Jesse's stomach, gently caressing in an attempt to soothe the man.

"Well I can do that. I'm gonna be better in no time, you just watch." Jesse couldn't help but grin back at his lover. He let himself shift, knowing that his wolf could help him handle the pain better. He then turned around, nuzzling the boy's neck and letting his fangs trail over his flesh. "I'm glad I have you to take care of me, Finnick."

"Awh fucking shit, there you go getting all sentimental on me." Finn groaned in mock irritation. In reality, the boy was grateful that Jesse was still strong enough to shift. And it was even better knowing that his presence made a difference for the man. "I guess I'm fucking used to it by now though. I'm actually pretty damn glad that I'm able to be here with you. No one else would fucking take care of you right."

"You're right, no one would. You're the best." Jesse cooed at the boy, nuzzling his neck even though he knew it would piss him off. "And getting sentimental with you makes me feel better. So you can't yell at me. You could even play along if you like, tell me how much you love me." He teased, smiling softly at the other boy.

"How much I love you?" Finn repeated quietly, his hold on Jesse tightening as the mans words washed over him. He could make Jesse feel better if he could just...
"I love you so fucking much Jesse....When you touch me, my skin feels like its fucking on fire. I lose all my breath. I crave to hear your voice, and when you look at me sometimes my fucking heart jumps into my throat." The boys face was a deep red now, his fingers nervously dancing around Jesse's back. "Sometimes, I think about Morgue. But I love you so damn much that I never think about missing him. I just look at you sometimes and I think 'I've never been this happy. Morgue has never made me this damn happy. Im so fucking lucky you found me or else I wouldnt know what it was like to be so....Fuck. So in love with another person.' It's like im fucking drowning sometimes. I want to touch you or try and tell you what you do to me and I fucking cant! Because its impossible to tell you just...Without you...Jesse. I love you so fucking much." Finn was getting irritated at himself, at his inability to articulate what he needed the man to know. "When I got pregnant with Cameron, I fucking hated it. I didnt want to have a kid with Jeremy. I didnt want to be tied to him my entire life. I was fucking scared and I damn couldnt stand it. He had to beg me to keep it. But with you? I found out about Parker and I was so damn happy I could have just fucking thrown up. I wanted to have a kid, a piece of us running around. I was so fucking proud that you chose me." Finn pressed his face into the mans chest, trying to hide his face as he rambled on about all the embarrassing things he felt. "When you took me to meet your parents, you were so fucking excited. You wanted them to like me so damn bad, and I wanted it too. I desperately wanted them to like me for you! But they fucking hated me, and I cant blame them for that. Even I wish I was fucking better for you. I want to be bigger and stronger. I want to protect you and be the one you go to when you need help. You always fucking look to Roman for that shit and I hate it because I love you so much. Im damn jealous of anyone else that gets your time and attention. I cried when we came home from your parents house. I felt like i'd fucking disappointed you and it fucking killed me. I wanted to be something you could be proud of. I love you so much. And im so damn proud to have you so I just-I wanted...." The boy growled softly, his hands moving to curl at Jesse's chest. "I love you so damn much. I dont say it enough. Now that your sick I feel like im suffocating because holy shit, I didnt tell you I love you, no matter how many times I thought about it, and you fucking need to know Jesse. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. You are the best fucking part of me. I want to damn marry you! When Jeremy asked me that one time, I fucking turned him down! I never wanted to get married, to anyone! But then you came along and I just love you so fucking much Jesse...I will never love anyone like I love you. I never have. You're so fucking precious. Damnit. I love you." Finn pressed his lips against the hollow of the mans neck. "I love you. I love you. I fucking love you Jesse. Damnit, I love you."

Jesse honestly hadn't been serious when he asked Finn to tell him how much he loved him. He knew Finn had a hard time expressing his emotions. And so it meant even more to hear the boy speaking about them so openly.
"I fucking love you too, Finnick. I love you so much." He could only repeat this several more times as he turned his head to kiss the boy deeply. Truly, it did make him feel better to know Finn loved him so much, more than he'd ever loved another person.

"And that, thats fucking another thing, Jesse." Finn couldnt help himself, he had to get these things out in the open. What if his lover really was so sick that he could damn die? What if Jesse left him without knowing everything that Finn loved about him.
What if Jesse died thinking he wasnt enough to make Finn happy?
"When you say my name.... I really fucking hated my name. Mathias, Jeremy, it didnt matter who. They could say my name even now and id fucking cringe. But when you say it my fucking chest gets tight and its one of the most precious damn sounds in the world. You're the only mother fucker allowed to say it. I want you to fucking know everything. You damn hold me together. Without you....There is no without you now. You've spoiled me with all this fucking happiness."

"You don't know what it means to me to hear you saying all this, Finnick." Jesse might feel like shit right now, but he had never been happier, that was for sure. "I'm so glad you're telling me how you feel. I know you love me, even though you don't say it often. But it's nice to have some reassurance every once in a while." He spoke softly, pressing kisses everywhere on the boy he could reach.

"You would just fucking get better, I'd tell you ever damn day." Finn spoke sincerely, making a promise to himself and to Jesse. "I can't even start to think about that fucking word Ouija kept using. Damn 'terminal.' If anything fucking happened to you, Jesse. My entire fucking world would collapse." Finn was trembling merely at the thought, his fingers curling at the mans shirt. "Fucking life without you just isnt life, Jesse. I wasnt really living before I met you...." And if Jesse died....It would go back to that. A dead life.

"I wasn't living before I met you either, babe." Jesse shook his head. "So don't worry, I'm going to push through this. I can't leave you and our baby. what kind of father would I be if I left you guys." He smiled softly at his lover, stroking the boy's blonde hair.

"Jesse, you're a fucking great father no matter what. If not, Parker wouldnt love you so damn much. But that still wouldnt make it okay if you left. If anything, it would only fucking make it worse. We would both be so fucking lost if we didnt have you around to damn take care of us." Finn was trembling at the thought, his hold on Jesse tightening. "You are the one fucking thing that keeps us all together."

"I know I am, baby." Jesse murmured softly. That only made it hurt worse, thinking of how he'd hurt them if he ended up dying. "But don't even worry about that because I'm not leaving you. Remember that." He nodded, dropping kisses into his mate's hair.

"Im fucking counting on it." The mans words were the only things keeping him together now. It was so obvious the man was in pain, he'd even had to shift to be able to handle it. And he was still so fucking hot, Finn was sweating simply being pressed so close to the man. "But dont you fucking expect me to not worry, damnit. You're my entire fucking universe and you're laying here in pain."

"Well worry if you must, it makes me feel important." Jesse smiled tiredly at his mate. "I am in pain but I can handle it. And I wouldn't let you take it for me even if you could." He shook his head, letting his eyes slip shut as he pressed his face into the crook of his lover's neck.

"You're such a pain in my ass." But Finn wouldn't have it any other way. Having Jesse so close to him, with the mans face pressed into the crook of his neck, it calmed him in ways that Finn hadnt even known were possible. "Like you'd fucking be able to stop me if I was able. I was thinking about that shit earlier...."
Maybe Jesse would be happier if he were a werewolf, too.

"Thinking about what shit?" Jesse arched an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you mean me giving you the bite because that isn't gonna happen, baby. Not in a million years." He shook his head, pulling the boy closer to him.

"And why the fuck not?" Finn pushed away slightly, his blue eyes sharp when they met Jesse's. "Do you think im fucking too weak for it or some shit? And who the hell are you to even decide that? The alpha? To hell with that." The boys eyebrows were pinched with offense. Finn didn't know much about the bite, wasnt aware of the risks that came with it. "And why does it have to be you? There's fucking werewolves everywhere. Anyone could damn bite me, Jesse." He'd only been thinking about it because he felt as though Jesse needed him to be stronger.

"First of all, it can't be any werewolf. Only Alphas can turn people." He smirked lightly at his lover. "And the only one of those around here is me and I'm not going to do it. It's not because I think you're too weak or anything, it's because the bite is risky. There's a chance it wouldn't take effect on you and end up killing you instead. I'm not even chancing that." He shook his head as he kissed the boy's cheek gently.

"But didn't you get bit?" Finn didn't like the thought of that. He didnt like that Jesse's life had been at stake. "You fucking werewolves are so damn complicated." But Finn was truly grateful for it. If Jesse wasnt a wolf, if he hadnt been able to hear his heartbeat...
He could still be back with Morgue, living a life that he hadnt even realized was unhappy. He'd have never known what it was like to feel breathless just because he was so in love.
"Im fucking grateful for it."

"Yeah, I was bit by some Alpha trying to start a pack. The bite worked on me but as you know, I don't have the best temper and the first full moon I ended up killing the Alpha that bit me. When you kill an Alpha, you become an Alpha. So that's how it happened." He nodded as he explained to the boy, stroking his hair. "And I'm grateful for it too. I like to think that we would have found each other anyways since we're soulmates, but this just helped me find my happiness a little bit faster." He smirked softly, capturing the boy's lips in a sweet kiss.

"How in the hell do you do that shit?" Finn could only groan at the warmth he felt in his cheeks. "You always fucking know what im damn thinking about. Are you fucking like Chandler and Ouija?" The boy had began rambling, unsure of how to handle the feeling welling in his chest.

"Nah, you're just easy to read." Jesse chuckled softly, nuzzling the boy's neck. "You act so damn tough, but I know you're a big softy deep down." He winked at his mate, allowing himself to relax as he held the boy.

"Morgue was never fucking able to read me." Truly Finn was amazed that Jesse was able to. He'd spent his entire life believing he had built up this indestructible wall inside of himself. No one could see behind it. And then Jesse came along...
Finn only feels crumbles where that wall used to be.
"Your always fucking amazing me and shit. Damnit, I love you. I fucking love us." It was hard to be so open about it, but Finn had decided that he wasnt holding back anymore. If something ever happened to Jesse....
He was desperate for the man to always know his worth. Especially in Finn's life.

"I cannot get enough of hearing you say that." Jesse sighed happily, squeezing the boy's hand in his own. "Once I get better, I'm making you tell me how much you love me way more often. I love it." He was grinning wider than ever as Finn spoke to him. If he died right now, he could die happy knowing how much Finn felt for him.